This is your bit…
Have a rant, celebrate, get all feminist …
It made me laugh, it made me cry…
Well, no, I didn’t cry at all.
I am giving this book to my 18 year old niece.
Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening.
I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put
this information together. I once again find myself personally spending a lot of time both reading and commenting.
But so what, it was still worthwhile!
CAITLIN AND FRIENDS! I really enjoyed your book ‘How To Be A Woman’ and wrote a review about it because I enjoyed it so much. I would love you (some of you) to check it out at reviewlit.tumblr.com therefore. Hopefully this message isn’t too spammy but my reasoning is that I have a lot to say about it and don’t want to dominate and destroy the comments section so my 800 words is there. Thanks! xxxxx
I cried with laughter for a whole evening, which made my husband a little uneasy until I read out the Greggs bag as pants bit. Thank you. x
The chapter why you shouldn’t have children made it for me. Thanks to your words, i now find t he confidence to stand up to my decision not to have had children. Great funny book!!!! Thanks for your positive attitude
I just want to thank you for Chapter 13 – Why You Shouldn’t Have Children, which I’ve just finished reading. As a 31-year-old woman who has made the conscious decision not to have kids, it constantly baffles and annoys me that my choice is referred to by society (and my own mother) as ‘selfish’. I also really don’t see how it is anyone’s business but my own (and any future partner). I’m giving this chapter to my mother to read!
I took your book on holiday with me last week and was enjoying it immensely, until I reached the chapter entitled “Abortion”.
To be honest, I was shocked and appalled by what I read. My wife and I don’t want the hassle of raising children, so we ensure that my wife doesn’t fall pregnant. It has always seemed obvious to us that if someone gets pregnant through not being careful in using contraception, then they should keep the child. If they can’t bear that then there is always the possibility having the child adopted.
I am surprised that you are unperturbed by pornography – from what I can see, you are all for it. I find it odd that you dislike strip clubs because they sexually and economically exploit women (“men are going to have to accept that women are not for sale”), yet you cannot see that pornography and sex clubs are different expressions of the same thing. Porn is worse: what’s really worrying is that kids are accessing it, this is harming their social and physiological development, and setting up problems for their later life and for society as a whole. Every decent person should be appalled by the fact that 10-year olds can and are watching the most depraved, violent and explicit pornography – we should all be jumping up and down demanding that ISPs, software providers and governments are doing more to stop this. It is not impossible, but the will does not exist. By allowing porn to become ubiquitous and available to all, adults are failing in their duty to protect children from harm. Porn is literally destroying society, and it doesn’t help that intelligent, liberal women like you accept it as some kind of harmless entertainment. Is this because it is fashionable to be seen to accept porn, unfashionable (and old-fashioned) to condemn it, I wonder ? Porn is serious shit, as you would put it. It causes men to expect/demand porn-like behaviour from their partners, to behave in ways towards women that they otherwise wouldn’t, and in a million ways it corrodes respectable and healthy attitudes towards women. How can you not be bothered by it ? It utterly demeans women and dehumanises the men and women who use it and feature in it. It portrays women as mere sex objects, ready recipients for whatever deviant and disgusting fantasies men can think up. Nothing is off limits. I honestly believe that women can not understand the power of pornography and the sheer and total hold it has over men who use it. It drives men to engage in acts beyond their control, sometimes even leading them to break the law. It is highly addictive, it is a drug.
What a fantastic read. I have a presupposed snubbed nose for anything deemed “funny” by the general public because most people are idiots, but this was hysterical. Besides being funny, You are an extremely smart woman and I loved your critique on the “modern” woman. This book should be required reading for all High School students, boys and girls alike. In honor of your 2 rules for the requirement of a woman to be a feminist, I’ve just come up with 1 rule for a man to become a feminist: If you’re not a feminist then you hate women. Thank you!
Inspring, uplifting and bloody funny. You make me hope I can truly live up to being a feminist man. Your courage to stand up for abortion is remarkable and liberating. All men should be made to read this before they’re allowed the vote at 18.
Audio book audio book! Please please! Hopefully read by the one and only Caitlin Moran rather than a reader.
You need to get a new agent, because after listening to you interviewing Jennifer Saunders..
Well, I don’t know how else to explain it other than it is a TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE that you have gotten this far through life WITHOUT HAVING YOUR OWN TV CHATSHOW.
I mean, drones at the BBC wake up – you are paying squillions a year to Graham Norton, who I agree has a modicum of talent…
And ITV is still acting as the udder for Jonathan Ross to suckle the teats of.. And they are paying Keith bloody Lemon [?] to go on air…
And they could have YOU !!! I mean, surely to goodness the ‘slush fund’ which is used to keep talent-free twerps like Richard and Judy on air [subs check this..] and administer life-support to ‘Daybreak’ in order not to shatter the illusions of Adrian Chiles that he still stands a chance with Christine Bleakley…
Well, this dosh should surely be put to better effect by keeping you in the manner to which you’d like to become accustomed ??
p.s. On second thoughts, if you did that you might go and live in Hollywood, and the idea of a Britain devoid of Caitlin Moran and with 100 years to wait until the next Olympics is somehow too much to bear. So babes, you are stuck with us [sigh..]
I would love to listen to your book. I am a subscriber to Audible and it turns out that Audible sells the book to non members with special new member discounts but does not make your book available to the subscriber. I was wondering if you were aware of this and if this is what you wanted.
Hooray! Finally someone has had the brain to write a book about feminism that I think is probably accessible to everyone. I’m 13 and it’s amazing to see how many people in my school (an all girls school!) haven’t heard of feminism or have some weird image of what it is and who wouldn’t dare say, for one moment that they were one. Hmmff…
Anyway, this book has kept me (relatively) sane and I know that whatever kind of shitty day I’m having, I can withdraw this book and either
A) relate to it
B) Start laughing at how deluded everyone has become.
This book helped me to get some ideas straight in my head and I wish someday I could write things as awesome, sensible, hilarious things as you, mainly because your so honest about them. The only people who ever get any attention are fakes. Your not, you’re simply the best. I can’t wait for the new book to come out
I heard you on the radio and immediately downloaded your book. I was not disappointed. I loved it and will insist all my friends read it – man or woman. It was poignant, honest, funny, and over all a breath of fresh air. I know this is silly, but when I was finished I just wanted to find you to go grab a coffee – unfortunately we are separated by an ocean and 1/2 a continent. Nevertheless, reality could not entirely squelch my desire. Well done and I look forward to your next book.
Thank You Caitlin!
Re-read your book this morning, it makes me smile every single time, but you’ve also helped me come to terms with more stuff.
I had an abortion at a fairly young age and felt like I should feel guilty, but couldnt really talk to anyone about it, but your book helped, a lot.
And as far as role models go, you’re up there with GaGa
Keep on writing and keeping us all sane, and making us smile and feel more comfortable and confident
Right, I’ve been here long enough surreptitiously clicking and lurking around. I spent a few moments re-rewinding your video to make you look like a gurning fool and read a few guest articles, I may as well use my time more wisely and tell you how much I enjoyed the Radio 4 Chain Reaction interview instead. It was great. You was fantastic and on hearing you, before Googling you, I text two friends to ask if they have you in their lives. I then Googled you and realised that you’re the woman who stares at me from bookstore windows making me feel out of touch with the world because ‘surely if she has promotional material that garish she must be hip and cool and I should know about her’. You are cool and hip and I *now* know about you. ‘Hi’!
Thank you. You’re the first woman I have encountered who has the courage to express her feelings and share her experiences on abortion, and not anonymously! You’re my fucking hero!
I’m Irish, I’m a woman and I too had an abortion. For years I have wanted to speak out about my experience and tell the Pope that if I wanted the catholic church all up in me ‘lady bits’, I’d fuck a priest.
Alas, I never had the courage… Till I read your book.
Now I’ve signed up to appear on one of Ireland’s number 1 radio show to represent the girls in a debate about Ireland’s current abortion laws.
Your book should be mandatory reading for all teens, not just the gals. My copy of your book is currently doing the rounds with all my mate – no male takers yet. But I’m working on it.
If I do get selected to appear on the radio, and advice for me? Any decent reading material on the topic you can recommend for me?
Hello, Just wanted to say that the book is excellent – goes without saying, has kept me sane in a house full of men and boys over the holidays.
I am an illustrator and feminist (strident of course) and want to wtite/illustrate a book that enables girls a voice and identity that they can recoginse a little bit. I have a name, a book title and a sketch book full of ideas and think that as freelance work is low – this might be my time!!! Example of character likes: Tim Burton, movies, DM’s, clever people, animals, change and funky clothes. Dislikes: fitting-in, hairbrushes, pink…….the list continues.
How do I do this book thing, don’t know but will continue to figure out!!
At last a book about feminism that I can laugh and cheer my way through and also recommend to the men in my life. Caitlin,I’m a Brit who has been living in Australia for the past 8 years, I’m doing my best to promote you, but, please help me out. We need you!
I would like some real time ranting and raving with you! My father-in-law just spent the hols with us and although I am still all puffy-eyed and sniffling you should see him!! Proud to be a feminist! Love and all, Anna
What you wrote about birth in How to be a Woman is so important. Have you seen this?http://www.oneworldbirth.net/videos/the-problem/mary-newburn-from-the-nct-talks-about-fear-in-childbirth/
Has anyone asked you yet whether you’d be willing to talk at a Freedom For Birth screening?
LOVED It! Sending your book to my mother, my sister and my best friend. They are going to pee themselves laughing and thank me profusely!
I’ve always suspected myself of being “bad at being a girl.” You know, too loud, too brash, too disinterested in my appearance, too fond of disgusting jokes involving the human body and it’s various emissions. My first few days of college have only made it all worse: you try having a sweet, gorgeous French engineering major for a roommate. It’s unpleasant. I can’t even hate her.
Your book has been the only bright spot. Like a portable friend that laughs makes great poo jokes and points out all the nice butts I miss. I know things will get better soon, and you’ve provided me with a marvelous tool for biding my time until that happens.
I’ve been raving about your book since I read it in an day and a half. To all my friends. I just can’t get over it. It’s the best thing I have read in years. I balled my eyes out on the couch. `i cried with laughter, by myself, I swear to hell, I can’t remember the last time I did that.Dude, if ye ever come to Dublin, give us a shout. Outside of that, your book made me really happy
Thank you, Thank you. I loved your book – it was brilliant. I am 54 and can’t wait for your writing on he menopause years – it’s pants and has nothing to recommend it! It was great to read your book – thnaks so much. Ange
So I’ve ignored my children for the better part of an afternoon reading your book and totally snorting with laughter. What I wouldn’t give to sit and have a few drinks with you. Thanks for the book!
Reading your book now and think it’s wonderful. Was a police officer a hundred years ago in Dallas, Texas, and couldn’t agree with you more on this feminist angle. I can appreciate the relief of being feminist and still like men. And if I may say…very proud of you —from one female to another!! All the best.
Thankyou for such an inspirational, clever, hilariously funny book. Sorry to gush but your observations are amazingly witty, even when discussing cunilingus! I will be recommending this book to everyone I know, but will make them buy their own as you deserve all the cudos and rewards from a best seller. I never thought I was a feminist, and having seen a few interviews with Germaine Greer over the last few years I could never connect with her anger and vitriole, but you make me want to be a more socially involved woman, and…yes… A feminist! Regards, Leah from Australia xxx
Ms. Moran, I just started your book and already love, love, love it. I am 62 years old, still recovering from my early years as a good girl, and have never had a close relationship with pointy shoes. Plus the things that happen to your body!!
Keep on writing, girl, I live in California where there are so many dumb, nasal, fashion-mulitated women that sometimes I feel sick!
Yours in sisterhood!
You might feel like I’m stalking you as I just tweeted you too! But wanted to say heard the Radio 4 Chain Reaction interview and loved it. I’m inspired to read your book and look forward to it. Great views and brilliantly portrayed.
Thank you for appearing on NPR with Teri Gross so I could hear you and immediately want to buy your book. Thank you for writing this book. And now to sound horribly cliche, it changed my life.
I loved the book and am going to buy copies for my granddaughters.
Thank you for writing a book that I can say with full honesty “I’ve been ranting about this stuff at work everyday for as long as I’ve been working!” and “you go girl!” without a heavy amount of sarcasm. You have added value to my life, and reading your book has given me hope in my quest to meet a female who doesn’t entirely suck by being vapid and miserable to be around. In my hopes of someday having a female friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For you: a great big internet hug from across the pond!
Loving the book. As a guy, it got me to finally admit to be a feminist rather than a humanist – unfortunately, I had no chair handy. Thanks for the humor and insight!
Loved your book, I am one of those women who had perviously thought of myself as not being a feminist but you have shown me that I actually am! Who would have thought it!
A thoroughly enjoyable read, laughed out loud sat at my desk on my lunchbreaks and looked like a mad woman but it was worth it I will make sure to read your next book also
Yes, men read too. I roared at the ‘small pants on tube’ bit (and elsewhere) – still reading.
I have used your arguments to persuade at least five of my most stubborn female friends, and three of my male friends to actually admit to being feminist’s! Success!
Your book has set me up so well for university, and made me dump my bullshit spouting ex for one who makes me tea and reads your book aloud x
I have two copies so I can have one at uni home and one at home home. Hilarious and exactly what I needed to read/hear. You are a proper female role model. I think my dad got me the book in a hope it might help me and him as he is a single parent. He was right.
Love your book……we couldn’t have huge debates, because I agree with most of what you say. Just one little point: My “Girls” have been called “My Girls” sine doing ballet at high school, trying to squeeze them into various ballet get-ups. And that was a looooong time ago. Scarlett Johannssen’s parents had not even met yet. SO, she does not have claim on the phrase. Yes, mine are definitely “girls” I happen to like them very much, thank you!
You are my hero…that is all x
I almost went for a pee in the garden instead of going into the house so as to save precious reading time (decided against it in the end as decking provides quite a high risk of backsplash). Lost sleep and contact with the world in a 2-3 day reading frenzy . If I had the funds I’d become a crazy person who posts your book to random people and leaves it lying around on bar stools and in schools as I believe that it should be proscribed reading for everyone in the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you. No thanks for the void I feel since finishing it and thrusting it into the hands of a friend, proclaiming ‘this is gold’ though. Oh and I have an intellectual crush on you.
I’ve taken your book on my holiday to read. My husband got hold of it before I could. I’ve let him; after all, maybe he could learn something as well! I started on a Dutch novel.
Your book opened up a whole new world for him. I’ve heard him laugh a lot! He was flabbergasted about the complexity of women. He read it in 2 nights and after that I’ve read it. We have had long talks about the book during the evenings of our holiday.
Thanks for renewing feminism and keeping it alive in your own, unique, way.
Thank you for the book. I must have said, “yes” a thousand times while reading.
Thank you, this was one of the best books I’ve read in some time; thoroughly enjoyed it. And, you are exactly right. About everything.
i finished reading your book today. Thank you, i loved every chapter and as an ex-army-girl and current electrician working with 95% dudes, you are a breath of fresh air. I love that I am a woman, and very good at my job. I bought your book for a couple friends, and we are reading it togrether (across the country) so I hope to spread your positive message as far as possible. You are smart, witty, and hilarious! Thank you, your book has inspired me, and I will continue to pass it along and recommend it.
I had hidden in the toilet as on with new doctors and needed to escape for a quick read, I actually laughed so much that someone called security, had to sneak out later denying all knowledge with my iPad hidden in the front of my scrubs. As a women in a mans world of hospital medicine where the male triage nurse is often referred to as the doctor and patients often ask me for a sick bowl or help to get their dangly bits in a bottle( should anyone really have to do that!!) I feel I constantly have to try to prove that I am truly committed by working much harder than my male colleagues, I will return home after a hard shift and tell my husband that I haven’t eaten or even had a pee and he rants about how that is ridiculous but I really can’t explain. If a male doctor leaves the floor for a break either to visit the men’s room or the canteen NOTHING will stop him patients will fall off their trolleys children will be carried in screaming, the bat phone will go off telling of a bus crash but he will get his break, whilst the rest of us on shift develop urinary retention and obstructive uropathy as we are constantly pulled away from our path by the needs of others.
I have a theory that that is why women suffer from constipation we think we need to go to the toilet then our toddler wakes up crying, so after settling her and sorting out breakfast for the others as we go, then the phone rings and we sort that out then we are into school run and nursery plus dropping off the PE kit we missed first time round then finally when we could go our bowels have given up from lack of use, I also have a theory about diverticulitis also more common in females, it’s from trying to hold in farts to avoid appearing unladylike, so message one if you gotta go just go and if you need to fart just let rip. I have probably far exceeded the number of words but in short brilliant book please write another ten I feel you have much more to say xxx
Sorry meant to say, A vagina can deliver a BABY, not bag. Should check for typos before I press Submit.
Sorry one more thing. Why do people equate “balls” with strong? As Betty White has said, balls are not strong. A vagina is strong, it can deliver a bag and accommodate a pounding going in the other direction. “Balls” can’t take anything. A vagina can take it, balls can’t. Thanks for letting all of us “rant”.
Love your book,How to Be A Woman, love it. The only thing that surprised me is your statement that women haven’t contributed to the world with science, inventions etc. Well, we have, but because of gender, these woman are not found in the history books. Who found out what the universe is made of? A woman. Who found new stars? A women, who was the first computer genius, a woman, she is why we even say de-bugged when we talk about computers, etc. who, who, who? Please go to my Pinterest board, People and Times We Should Know About. I don’t want my young niece thinking that woman have not invented and broke scientific frontiers. The person who before she came along, there was no Pediatric cardiology. The iist goes on and on. You are so well read, how could you not know the thousands of mathematical and scientific break throughs women have made. Recommending your book to everyone, and quote you so much, my friends are saying, enough already? Thanks for writing it. JoAnne Craft
You don’t know me but actually it would appear you do!! Nice to meet you too
I’m 52 ina minute so Germaine was pretty much the only one who spoke for me earlier in life but I’m happy to let you take on the mantle now!! Congratulations for being so courageous and clear. I like your confidence that as long as you have a kind of sexethical measure (would this bug a boy??) to check stuff against then you can pretty much be you and know it’s right. Corse it is … and that’s what is so very, very good about your book.
For me especially wonderfully great are your two last thoughts …
Remember that the promised land is an story put about as a mass opiate and if you postpone living till you get there then you’re dead and you’ve missed it ….. Fanfuckingtastic ……..
And (ringing a bell for me as clear as day…) .. what’s with women being put out to grass at 50 ish as though when our tits and jawlines droop our brains are also sagging. Perhaps we’ve won the argument that we can both be fecund and intelligent at the exact same time (Doh!!) and so the pay back is an assumption that when our wombs wind down so do our brains. Other than words, I haven’t found this to be the case. They are a bit random sometimes.
Part of the joy!!
Ta!! Keep it up.
I have one major complaint about your book which is I can’t read it at the gym or in bed which are the two places I do most of my reading. The reason being I laugh so hard out loud that I either look like a lunatic or I wake up my husband. This minor inconvenience aside, “How To Be A Woman” is one of the most refreshing and entertaining reads I’ve come across in a long time. I’m going to start giving it as gifts to every woman I know and to my own daughter when she is old enough…maybe even my son. Thanks so much!!!
I bought your book a few weeks ago because I felt so much better just reading about your book and you! Thankyou thankyou thankyou I loved the book I love your writing your sense of humour and the way your lovely brain works and what comes out of your mouth! I’m off to see my sister and I’m bringing her your book!
I just finished the Fat chapter. So true. I’ve always been overweight, and felt disconnected from my body, like a “brain in a jar.” Not sure how to change it…but you’re right…food is like a drug.
I cried during the chapter you talked about being with Courtney. it was exactly like a relationship i had a few years ago, though i came out of mine a victim and emotionally so hacked i was mentally sick for a few months. i got over it, all the better for it, and am now happy, but it definitely struck a cord with me.
the other part of the book that really stood out for me was the chapter you talk about getting an abortion. i’ve had older lady friends tell me they had them done, and i already know if i get pregnant i’m getting one, but as of earlier today, i hadn’t really read anything what was quite so honest about what the actual medical experience of getting one is like. and i think that’s important to know, just like how you talked about no one tells you having a baby can be easy if only you’re told what to expect and what to do. so, thank you for that.
I am sad though because it seems I cannot download the audiobook unless I have an Amazon account in the UK. Now I feel really left out…
Thank you for bringing the honesty, humor and liberal talk about pubic hair. I just listened to your interview on NPR and I am so glad to hear another women have the balls (pun intended) to tell it like it is for women. We are not all Barbie dolls (and for that matter men are not all Kens). Kudos to you and your work. I can’t wait to buy the book and support more honesty and openness about the real life of women.
Well behaved women never make it into the History Books. Found this quote years ago and loved it. Seems really relevant here. Love the book, keep losing it to friends, so have bought a third one that I am hiding under lock and key!
Your book is so fabulous, it’s making people move across the aisle from me on the train as I’m laughing so hard I’m dribbling! From more than one orifice!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!
While NPR is a pre-set on my radio, I almost never end up there. For whatever glorious reason, I stopped there during your interview the other day. I was enthralled with your thoughts and opinions, and your personality is fantastic. I bought your book for Kindle the next day. I am halfway through it and love love love it! Your ability to convey personality (yours, I assume) through words is a gift. The book is a wonderful combination of thought-provoking, funny and fun. I don’t laugh out loud at just anything! Thank you so much! I am recommending this book to everyone.
I watched You (Caitlin) on the Hay Sessions on Sky Arts at 3am in the morning. I was absolutely glued and had to quickly press record in order to re-watch the next day. The next day I jumped onto Amazon and ordered ‘How to be a woman’ and since reading it I’ve made it my mission to recommend it to every woman that I know! I’m so passionate about this book and hope to improve as a fellow woman. Much love and appreciation
men don’t secrectly hate us. They do it openly and then they call it “a joke” “only kidding” “have some sense of humor will y’a”, the worst part is that we fall for it all the time not getting it. They are laughing all right..
See this book to learn about no pubic hair in porno: Film and Video Censorship in Modern Britain by Julian Petley about the British Board of Film Classification
Just listened to your interview on NPR. Thank you! You are fantastic. I was raised to grasp ahold of my feminist ways and flaunt them on my moms side and be a “good girl” on my dad’s side. Up until now I’ve always felt conflicted on how to be my true self. I can’t wait to read your book!! Thnk you thank you thank you!!
I’m enjoying this book so much I’m laughing out loud at airports, the train etc. I look totally crazy. Anyway, the only issue in the book I take issue with is when Caitlin says women haven’t done anything. How would we know, we have been left out of the history books. The accomplishments of women, that we should have learned in the 4th grade are never taught. This just about makes my head want to pop off or do the Excorcist twisty thing. People were left out of the history books because of race, gender or delusions about their abilities. So, I started a board on Pinterest called: PEOPLE AND TIMES YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. When I showed it to my 11 year old nephew, he was very impressed and asked why no one knows about these massive accomplishments by women, people of color. We are all here, living a better life because of women’s accomplishments, scientific and otherwise. Whew, I feel better now. Anyway, the book is so good. So glad I purchased it. P.S. regarding Feminist, I will use Caitlin’s description, do you have a vagina and do you want to be in charge of it?
Caitlin, Have you read Maureen Dowd’s column in NY Times yesterday – on Marilyn Monroe?
Hi Caitlin, I’ve just finished listening to you right now in an interview on “Fresh Air”, which was broadcast on World Radio Switzerland (I live in Switzerland). It was absolutely fascinating, and as you say at the end of the interview “it was a hoot”. So glad I tuned in, I look forward to reading and hearing more about you. Cheers Catherine
Great to hear your interview on NPR today.
I’m getting your book for my girlfriend.
You two would get along well.
I’m a guy, I live 30 miles west of Chicago. I always try to be a better man, and knowing great women like you are out there helps me, too.
I’m halfway through this book and feel like I’m stuck in a circle of the same message with different titles every chapter…..staying with it but not at all grabbing me and nowhere near as good as I was told
Catlin- you’re my new hero! Thank you for saying all of the things I’ve been thinking for years. I will now think of you when I rip my bra off at the end of the day and exclaim “It’s time to release the Kraken!”
Heard you on NPR today and just loved you. Had to go buy the book!!
Caitlin – hugely excited to hear of your lovely birthday treat to me of releasing Moranthology on my 27th birthday. What a treat. I shall try and hang on to my first copy of this one, but fear I shall be reduced to buying 5 or 6 as I press them frantically onto my friends so I can be sure that they begin to understand where my brain is coming from…
I just listened to your interview with Terry Gross on National Public Radio. You are wonderful – so inspirational. I can’t wait to read How to be a Woman. Keep up the good work, Caitlin. ~ Best, Val
A girlfriend recommended your book and what a gift! I’m a tall girl, find it hard to buy cloths that work with my height and that just continues to piss me off. Otherwise, I am having a great time as I weave my way through my life. Your book was like a “you go girl” moment.
Thank-you. Three weeks until my 5yr old daughter starts kindergarten, and I’m seriously contemplating reading your book to her. All is going quite well with feminism in this household- my boyfriend (now husband) knew way more about ovaries & housework than I did when we fell for each other 18 yrs ago. Lastly, i’ve requested that any person who likes me read a copy ASAP so we can reman on good terms. xx
I have just read your book over the past two days, when I was essentially bed-ridden with a pulled muscle in my side. Can I tell you how many times I laughed, and how much it hurt when I laughed? But I couldn’t put the book down. Thank you for the laughs and also for the wisdom. I truly appreciated the open way you discussed abortion–it rang true to my own experience and it is SO freeing to hear another woman be so open about it. Many thanks!
I heard you on NPR last night while driving to pilates class. You made me laugh out loud, but you also made me very proud. I also am a mother of 2 (extremely difficult first birth and VBAC with second) who had an abortion rather than having a third child. I too feel no remorse and had no hesitation in the decision to abort. I am so grateful to you for being courageous enough to explain that it can be a simple decision to choose an abortion when a child doesn’t fit into a woman’s life plan. You are funny and eloquent and your message is hugely important. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
I heard you on the radio today and I’m so excited for your book! Is How To Be a Woman going to be available on audiobook in the U.S.?
Listen to Terry Gross. As an older man who has lived through non and Internet porn, I don’t think it’s been a factor in my choices of woman’s body hair. It is their choice!!! Men shave, we don’t have to. Some women like facial hair, some don’t. Women should not acquiesce. It’s not women’s lib, it’s human rights, be it Women, Blacks, Jews, Muslims, disabled, gays. I’m so tired of differentiation.
I’m listening to our interview on NPR. My question is why wouldn’t you consider the rights of your unborn child, possibly a female, if indeed you call yourself a feminist?
Morticia Adams was not a fellow and Susan Sondheim was not a guy, you and Caz are not men, and no dude will every need an abortion.
Emma Brockes, reviewing your book in the NY Times, July 26, 2012, called it “an invective against backsliding attitudes toward feminism.” She continued, “How to Be a Woman is a glorious, timely stand against sexism so ingrained we barely even notice it.”
Do you refer to or address females or mixed-gender groups with male-specific nouns? If you acknowledge that you do, sadly, you’re a female-degrading feminist.
We spent many years struggling to gain recognition that using “man/men” to refer to females or to mixed-gender groups is rude, inaccurate, and damaging to our society and to all females and males. Some progress was made in changing the mind-set which controls common word use. “Man/men” became mostly accepted to be male-referential, not appropriate in referencing or addressing females or mixed-gender groups.
Along came a new generation of young women calling one another “guys,” even “dude,” and that usage has spread through all generations. We who can see the intrinsic harm which can be done through language, we have to keep up the effort for females to be acknowledged as a separate and equal gender. We need to use gender-specific language – female nouns referring to females, male nouns referring to males, gender-non-specific nouns to refer to mixed-gender groups. Y’all have probably heard people refer to folks using terms which are not gender specific.
Some tell me that the younger have opted to drop all gender-specificity in language, maintaining that all words are neuter. Why are only male-specific nouns used, claimed as neuter?
Inviting a mixed-gender group with, “Let’s go girls,” do you think any of the males will move, other than to walk out?
Most of what you had to say I found amusing and I was in agreement with much of what you expressed during your recently broadcast interview with Terry Gross. Offering support regarding the validity of abortion, you said that you wanted to tell women it’s alright to not be distraught. This was your reassurance, “Dude, you’ll be okay.”
To reassure those of the gender which cannot become pregnant, perhaps you would say, “Don’t worry, ladies, the guys you impregnate can have abortions.”
Are you getting confused yet? Or are you now seeing the light?
Which side are you on, brother?
Wishing you, sister, clear thinking and precise speaking, that all may be equally acknowledged and respected.
I just heard your interview on Fresh Air. You are so funny and I loved the interview. I think your chemistry with Terry Gross was great. Now I have to read your book. I loved your insight especially on women who don’t want to have children. I myself have one son, but I have many friends who just didn’t want to have kids and people hassle them so much. Thanks for giving me an outlet to offer them!
I ADORE this book!!!!!!!!
I laughed , I nodded my head yes in agreement and I am recommending it like crazy. Thank you.
As an “Old Feminist” (huh-lo, 54, but in this culture I’m ancient), I want to thank you for retaining the F word. No one should be ashamed of the work that women before me, women in my generation, and women after me have done to make the world a much better place than the one I was born into.
Loved laughing out loud, and agree with just about everything you say. Just one thing: couldn’t we have “heroines” in our culture who didn’t feel compelled to take their clothes off in public or show us their naked butts (with or without large martini glasses)?
Thanks for your wonderful, witty wisdom!
Totally enjoyed your interview with Terry Gross on NPR just moments ago! I feel as if I’ve discovered a kindred spirit and will be reading your book as soon as I find it!
I am at work thinking how on earth I am going to survive till I can leave, be free. And on npr there is an interview with the author and one of the first things I hear is about waxing and shaving all. I looked at my legs and thought how ridiculous we are to please, who?
Up until I was 11 I genuinely believed I was a boy, it took another 20+ years to realize being a Woman had its perks and after reading you’re book I am genuinely excited for all the therapy I’ll get to skip and looking forward to being a Feminist!
Thank you so much for writing this book!
Wow! What an amazing book – what an amazing writer. Sooo lovely and refreshing to read a funny, honest, open author who is a wooommmaaan.
Loved it, loved laughing out loud in my bed. You have now made it to the lofty heights of being included in my fantasty dinner guest list. wow.
I’ve been so angry lately. So incredibly angry. Your book feels like a balm. Thank you for this.
Woke up this morning and thought ok you need to lighten up have soem fun be nice to your self and your husband. Read about you and your book in the Globe and Mail this morning,an article by Leah McLaren. Googled you found this. Anna Korenina was next on my book shelf but forget that now I am going out to buy yours! Can’t wait smiling already and feeling better just seeing you farting around on my computer screen this morning!!!!
Just finished How to be a Woman, loved it, and think every woman AND man should read it. Did you see Evelyn Glennie leading the Olympic ceremony percussion, she reminded me of you (in a strange but good way!)
Book – brill!!! Radio appearance – brill!!! If I were a regular blogger/twitter(er) site surfer I’d have posted this weeks ago! Can’t wait for the next epistle….
Reading your book was like having someone crystallize all the vauge and slippery arguments I find myself trying to make. You got right to the truth with wit and a spirit of fairness. I laughed so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes and my husband felt the need to come check on me. So, in addition to having a really good laugh I know his curiosity is piqued enough for him to read your wonderful book as well and this means I will never again have to try to explain to him why strip clubs are evil! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Just finished the book. Very inspiring!
I assume the gender balance of body dysmorphia sufferers puts me in the far less affected camp and i’ve still experienced that feeling of being judged (and found wanting) based on my appearance. Of course, spending my entire 20′s with 3 foot long hair and wearing heavy-metal T-shirts probably didn’t help. Job interviews, restaurants and hotels were where i felt it most. I vaguely remember receptionists looking at me with an expression that looked like they were considering whether they could get away with asking for cash in advance. At those moments, my chosen look never felt bold and rebellious, just childish.
Thank goodness I’m 40 and now only spend 1 percent of my brain power on worrying about how I’m perceived.
THE BEST book about modern feminism in ages. Moran you are a genious, i actually wet my knickers on the bus reading your book
Thank you Caitlin for reminding me – as I write to you whilst on maternity leave, neck-high in baby land with cotton wool for brains – why I decided to become a journalist.. If I can inspire people just a fraction as much as you have just inspired me then I’m a happy woman! Thank you – you are so spot on about so many issues.. will be recommending your book to as many people as poss!
It was a bittersweet moment when upon finishing your book I realised that, had I been able to read it I wrote my Masters Thesis, I would have got a higher classification – congratulations on being a thoroughly awesome woman and source of amusement, inspiration and reassurance to a strident feminist and stripper-type lady!
Lots of sisterhoodly love from Fanny! x
I think the clothing and shoes thing is really simple: women who have finally started to make a bit of money have to band together and start their own lines. It is, as you point out, the 21st century. Which means that you can hire the factory, hire the designer-who doesn’t have to a “name”-who will do what you want, choose the fit, fabrics and focus. The time for waiting for designers to give you comfortable, well-made clothes is long past amd it isn’t going to happen unless you force change. I have long had an idea for a line of clothes to replace all the fake, polythis, ethylthat in my wardrobe-but never any money. So I’m glad to see that at least my clothes might have been succesful if I can launch them. One benefit to the recession is that now all the best factories are gasping for business. So ultimately it would be a very good thing. Create a new clothing line aimed at women who want easy to wear, easy to care for pieces in natural fabrics and made in Italy, the UK and NYC’s Garment District. I’ll bet you already know everyone you need.
I thought I was the only one that combed my pubic hair into an affro so as to make it all big and bouncy! You and your book are both fab Caitlin and thanks for chapter 15. xx
So Caitlin, how does Pete feel about your modernist, post Greer ‘Feminist’ views and new found fame? In the immortal words of one Rodney Stewart, ‘does he wear it well’?
Anna Quindlen recommended your book highly…I did not realize it just came out…I live in a very small town in TN…we have a Books A Million store in Spring Hill, TN…think it will be there…want to read it badly. thank you so much!!
So Caitlin, first off way to go! Great work, blah, blah, blah you’re terrific.
Now about my rant. I’m a wee bit older than you and most of the contributors on this site and I’m feeling a little jilted. I don’t remember ever giving up on feminism and I feel like I’ve done my job to further the feminist cause. For christ’s sake I’m a Cowgirl!
So maybe feminism isn’t where we want it to be or think it should be but it’s not because my generation has been slacking.
I think maybe with our extra age we’ve gained some wisdom, along with some wrinkles, and a lot of weight. I have also gained the experience of raising two girls of my own. Enjoying the perfect vision of hindsight I’ve been able to show my girls how to be strong willed young women, with full sets of pubic hair, and with appropriately salty tongues. Young women who understand that along with a vagina comes tremendous responsibility and along with boobs comes the necessity to wear a bra if you’re going to ride a horse. They also understand that being a woman neither makes them special or disabled and at the end of the day they should be judged on the content of their character.
I’ve raised them to be a little more tolerant and a little less angry than the brand of feminism I was raised on. I don’t believe feminist should try to convince women they should have it all, only equal choices and equal access. Allowing a woman the right to choose, and supporting her decision seems to be a problem on both sides of the feminist debate.
I found the greatest expression of my feminism in being a mother. But that was my path and by no means the right path for others. I was lucky enough to have a choice. I hope someday everyone will enjoy the same choices I’ve had and have the ability to find the path that allows them to be the truest expression of themselves. Until then keep stirring the pot, keep making jokes and keep finding the joy in life.
Have just watched your interview at Hay on sky arts and you are amazing! This book and your column have re-connected me to my young, ideological self and I am glad she’s back!
Heard about you on NPR. Yes! Yes!
Second Wave Feminist here – you give me hope – so does the fact I just got a layoff notice for being “radical” At 55!! Flag Fly!!
When my son was 10 years old, he was home, while I was at his music school at a meeting, during which he called me to let me know that he found a lady stripping on the internet. He then proceeded to say “Ma. The reason that I call was to ask your permission to use your birthdate. I need it, so I can see the rest of the video”. After saying “No” (I don’t know what he was watching; and he had no idea what he might see at the end of it), and after he begged me “PLEASE MOMMY!!!” I went to the bodega a bought him a Playboy. He was thrilled. And what struck *me* was that none of the women in the magazine had pubic hair! WTF is *that* all about I wondered. And would tell my son “Jude, girls have pubic hair. *That’s* just really weird looking…”…And now I read a whole chapter devoted to precisely this. Just brilliant!
I just read your profile on Slate. The last bit of it was a quotation from you. Specifically, you said, “So that’s why I have to change the world. I have six years to make it into a feminist paradise so my little girls won’t get screwed up.” I read that line and I cried. It’s absolutely beautiful. Thank you for saying it. I plan to read your book as soon as I can get my hands on it.
I love you …you have made me laugh out loud to the point of tears for the first time in 2 years (the reason for laughter cessation being university at the age of 40)..The book has given me fresh new (feminist) energy, so much so I finally told the arrogant chauvanist 18 yr old pig behind the bar in my local village pub what I really thought of him !!! I am empowered. Might I also add that I am now abit scared to leave the house as his father is on the war path…ive hear hes saying ‘Me and young clare need to have a little chat’…see thats where his son gets it from…anyway.. Thanks Cailin nothing this exciting ever happens in our village.
NewsBusters: MSNBC’s ‘Cycle’ Showcases Feminist Author Promoting Abortion, Pornography
Just saw you on “The Cycle”, today, Caitlin, and was delighted with you. I’ve just ordered your book. Wanted to mention, though, you said that you thought you were probably the first woman who’d ever written as you did about abortion (you have my complete support, by the way). Actually, I wrote very much along the same line way back in January of 2005. The only thing I didn’t write about was exactly what the procedure was like because, frankly, it was negligible and I have no memory of it except that, contrary to what I was told, I was able to drive myself home without a problem. I thought you might be interested in what I had to say, and why. Here’s the link:
Hope you enjoy it. The few comments it provoked are fun, too.
In the new call for equality I will be happy to be the token lesbian and field all questions regarding the hating of men, the wanting to be men, the penis envy question ad nauseum. Because that is the silly stuff that gets in the way. I’ve had a lifetime of learning how to answer those type of thrusts (pun actually intended) and am at your disposal if and when you feel my talents and verbal riposte abilities are needed. Well Done Ms. Moran. And even if Oprah etal don’t read your book (and I would be stunned if they don’t) please know that you have galvanized, shaken, woken up, tickled, annoyed, frustrated and gloriously shocked a lot of women who have been comas for many years.
My name is Bébhinn Farrell and I’m a 31 year old Irish woman. There’s been a really horrible anti-abortion ad campaign in Ireland this month which we have begun protesting. We are trying to really gain steam for pro-choice legislation in Ireland. 5000 – 8000 Irish women travel to the UK every year for abortions, without insurance, assistance, or follow up care and counselling. I’m just contacting inspirational and socially aware people with the hope of gaining any coverage at all that we can. Last week we had a protest of almost 400 people outside Government buildings and not a single Irish paper would cover it.
Youth Defence (the people behind the ad campaign) are funded by far right U.S. fundamental Christians and also have ties to fascist organisations. we are desperately trying to combat them, despite our lack of funding.
If you are pro-choice and interesting in the battle going on in Ireland at the moment regarding the lack of access to abortion, even for medical reasons, and could spread the word, I would greatly appreciate it! We only started our group 2 weeks ago, and now have over 1000 followers. There’s going to be a lot going on over the coming weeks so any help and coverage would be greatly appreciated.
The page is https://www.facebook.com/notalwaysabetteroption (we’ll have a snazzier name soon, we’re meeting with a number of pro-choice groups soon to band together) and my name on facebook is Bebhinn Farrell.
I just read about your book in Marie Claire and I HAD to have it! I pre-ordered a copy for my Kindle, I can’t wait until the 7th!
Please write another book! My sister bought me How to be a woman for my birthday. I loved it and have been making all my friends read it, brilliant x
Hello Caitlin , I’m a56 yr. old man with 4 sisters and three daughters and I’ve found in you a feminist author I can heartily recommend to my 16 yr old. The sisters can find their own way and the 7 yr. old twins will just have to wait a bit. Thanks for Bothering.
Hi I got my first impression of you to day on The ABC Australia.
You mentioned that it was a 100,00 years that females was the driving force. Historically I beg to differ. Our western outlook got there about 5000 years ago. After Santorini/Thera blew up and the priestesses were blamed for its disaster.
Even less appreciated is that girl-babies are born more advanced than male babies. Femenism as you call it is held back by the human fear which allows religion to rule. While they never tell that there god is our Sun, both in Judaism and Christianity look up the first Synod and you find that the emperor insisted it be so. Which was accepted by the bishops all 100% male there greatest handicap.
If you ever read this comment I love to get a reply because I am a male Feminist and great grandfather to boot.
My wife is enjoying your book “How To Be A Woman”.
Tonight I leafed through it and came across the chapter on Abortion.
Fair play to you for saying it as it is – for you, but I am sad. It is simply a chapter about death, the death of someone with no name, a someone with no chance, a someone with no future. Why? Its all there in the book, this someone didn’t suit, didn’t fit someone else’s view of themselves or their life, their direction.
Such an act of obtuse selfishness, with death as its consequence I shall hardly ever read again.
In a similar way, that helpless/hopelessness I feel when I consider Syria’s situation and its litany of dead children, your chapter on how you arrived at an abortion clinic in Essex for only one reason – the ending of an existence – leaves me hollow.
I haven’t even finished your book but it has already profoundly changed my life. I have never said to myself that I am a Feminist, but yesterday I was yelling it in the garden! And I feel like I have found god. Seriously. My life has a meaning, and that meaning is to be a woman. You are a seriously inspirational woman and when I have finished the book, Im gonna flip it right over and start it all over again. Also, I have never taken part in any online forums about anything, but today and yesterday I wrote two posts about feminist issues. I want to take part! So thank you for giving me the kick up the arse I needed!
And just in case you didnt know about it already http://jezebel.com/
is worth a read..
Much love x
i threw your book ‘How to be a woman’ in the recycling bin after reading the chapter about motherhood changing you so much for the better. However I retrieved it, and now understand that if I personally didn’t have kids it is probably entirely my own doing if nothing else in life has done the same for me. There may still be time for this to happen though even at 61:) PS I’ve had gallstones though which I am told are as painful as childbirth.
Thank you so much. I thought it was just me – but if you’re out there, thinking like this, then presumably there are others. Hoardes of us.
I’m so glad one of us finally said something – and considering how well you said it, I’m very glad it was you.
I really REALLY enjoyed reading ‘How To Be A Woman’ and it reassured me that I’m actually doing a fairly ok job at being a woman despite my occasional moments of panic.
I can’t help be a little bit doubtful about your yellow shoes theory but being open minded as I am I’m willing to give it a try.
Dearest Caitlin, wonderful book. Not everybody is as extroverted like you. I am 53, very good looking. Lost my job as editor-in-chief. Our of work. Very deep depressions. It does not help being a feminist since I was 18. In despair (IQ of 140), greetings from Hamburg/Germany, Uschka Pittroff
You seem very much like my female version, my elder sister had pretty much had the same life. I haven’t read this book yet but I surely will.
Thank you, from Mumbai, India
I’m about 80% through your book on my Kindle. I really like it and will be sorry (like you are sometimes when you read a good book) when it is at The End. Looking forward to your up an coming book…. Best wishes and well done, Denise
Thanks for writing your book! It was enlightening in many ways and also very funny! Keep up the good work!
I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying your book. I am an engineer working in the steel industry, and honestly I’m doing pretty well but I have to admit to not really understanding what it is to be a feminist. I’m two-thirds of the way through your book (bought for me by my sister-in-law, also a female engineer), and now I not only understand feminism better, but I’m really excited to be one.
I was recently relocated by my company to the USA where, in my opinion, feminism is in an even worse state than in the UK, so I’m off out to spread the word (in big pants).
I have never e-mailed an author before (so apologises for being my first experiment as it were) but I have just rattled through your memoir/rant at a rate of knots and felt I had to express my thanks to you for chapters 13 & 15!
I had already declared my “feminism” standing on a chair in my local before discovering your book and so was filled with hope when I began reading. I have to say the five o’clock club took little interest comprising as they do of several over 50’s male bar flies but I did get some applause from the local psychotic transvestite (he is more than happy to let everyone know that he has indeed being declared psychotic and has the paperwork to prove it) so I always look back on my “outing” as a positive experience and was pleased to read I was not alone.
I continued through the book completing it in several days I was so excited by the honesty and familiarity with my own experiences. However I was left disheartened by the episode on motherhood me being a forty-two year old childless women. I have watched practically all my friends having children (including a lesbian couple) which has left me with the feeling that the other women in my group were looking at me as if to say “see even THEY are having children, what’s your excuse?”
The chapters on being a mother really hit a nerve with me and I found myself examining why and how I had got to this period of my life without joining a club I had every intention of signing up for at some point. I was married at 19 and it lasted relatively happily until I was 39 when, my husband who denied that our childless situation was anything to do with him or indeed any of his concern, ran off with my blonder, thinner friend. A friend I had previously nursed through a miscarriage only to discover she’d actually aborted my husband’s baby rather than “lost” the baby. I always thought this was a weird term to use anyway, almost as if only really careless women “loose” babies.
Anyway, apologises, I’m wittering. I WAS disheartened until I got to chapter 13, thank you so much for the acknowledgement, understanding and downright straightforward sense with which you approach such a divisive issue. When I left the state of matrimony I found myself, single, homeless and turning 40 with plenty of time to reflect on what the shit just happened!
Fast forward 3 years and I’m ploughing through my second degree, have a new career teaching other women how to expand their horizons, a pretty good new relationship and my dream flat (cramped but bijou). After years of no education to speak of and as I’m heavily tattooed and have bright teal hair (it was just turquoise, but I like it so much more now I can call it teal) I have discovered I have a talent and that talent can make a difference to other people. Even though I have always worked and supported myself and pretty much educated myself by reading everything I could lay my hands on I had become accustomed to believing what I saw reflected in peoples attitudes (and often faces) when dealing with me. That I had no discernible talent and was pretty much a weird women who would eventually end up collecting cats and being a burdon on society in one way or another.
Now I teach painting and have even had an exhibition where some of my originals actually sold! The future is bright and although I’ve missed my chance to share it with a little version of me I feel I can’t and won’t give regrets any time or energy. I’m a good, useful person and the coolest auntie/ godmother you could have (my niece’s words not mine).
So thank you, you’ve made me smile with recognition, shed a tear with realisation and given me the best read and most wonderful new arsenal in my feminist lexicon that I’ve found in along time. I will be grateful for a long time, probably about the same amount of time it will take you to trawl through this essay of an e-mail. No, really, a very long time.
Love, light and laughter from a grateful “sister”
just finished the book this afternoon and shocked that i found myelf agreeing to practically everything. Nevder thought id fit into this “feminist” title. Being the blacksheep of quite a traditional indian family my thoughts on the roles of women have always caused a lot of worry lines on my mothers face. So im single….its fab…im travelling the world doing what i love..if a man comes into my life hes there to better it, not just be. If i died tomorrow…i know id done myself proud..how many can actually say that?? i always thought that id need to be someone to actually make any changes or awareness in the world of female libertation and emanciapation…but you know…i feel inspired…and by a fellow brummie too. Cool. Thanks for that.
THANK YOU FOREVER SO MUCH
Honestly, before your book i thought feminism was a load of lesbians burning bras and i disagreed with it. I am wrong. Feminism is about being free. I have never before realised it as much as now.
My family are very traditional. When i requested just 1 family air loom they said, no, that belongs to my brother.
I left the room, went upstairs, and burst out sobbing. He does not like the style the family air loom is in. He does not appreciate the style it is in. And it is the one thing i would cherish from my family. Ofcourse I am not allowed it because i am a woman. I did point this out but my family said i was being crude; I wish things were different.
I have never read a book so honest, and so truthful as yours. I cannot thank you enough. You are my inspiration.
I hope to one day be as inspirational as you,
Loved the first 98 pages of your book but don’t know if I can read the rest now.
You’re a mother, as well as a writer so I cannot get my head around why you wrote this one line ‘He will run, screaming, away from you – like that Vietnamese kid covered in Napalm’. I was stunned and had to read the line again to make sure I hadn’t imagined it.
Am I missing something significant here, some profound hidden meaning, or was that just a major cock up on your part. I would suggest that you have that line removed from future copies Caitlin because for me, it wasn’t just extremely bad taste/humour, but a very poor reflection of your character.
Am 26 and Italian and after reading your book, which I loved, I wish Melodie Maker was still around!
In the book you say that you don’t inspire people. You do. You really inspired me to DO something (though I finished reading at 3am, not really a time you can DO anything). You’ve awakend the feminist in me that was always there and you’re the first woman that’s described to me how your children changed your life whilst telling me it’s alright that I don’t want any and my life wont be shit without them. Which meant I didn’t want to punch you, which is fantastic.
So thank you for the book. From a 23-year-old who’s currently finding the more positive things in life whilst beating an eating disorder. It’s really helped. <3
I love, love LOVE this book. The one gripe I have is
Stick your hands down your pants.
Do you have a vagina?
Do you want to be in charge of it?
If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulation! You’re a feminist.
Under no circumstances do you have to have a vagina to be a feminist.
About bras. I don’t hate them, well, not all of them anyway. I do buy myself very exclusive and thus expensive ones for two reasons; 1. they fit perfectly and 2. to celebrate that I’m a woman.
WOW just think that I am reading the hottest book at the moment, I usually have to wait for six months to get a book from the library but no I am reading the best book ever NOW Thank you Caitlin
introduced to your book by a female work colleague, best book I have read in years! Bought my own copy this week.I can visualise your words so well in regard to the 1980′s. keep up the good work and thanks…
Your face stopped me in my tracks last year, beautiful, just like your mind.
Hi Caitlin, I’m a Belgian actress and I’m working on a theatre show on erotic (+humor) for next year. That’s how I got to read your book and I loved it! Really really did! We were in nearly the same time-zone as teenagers, so all the new-wave-punky-strange behaviour-stuff really took me back in time! Pity I can’t put pics here, because I gave the most amazing ’80s party for my 40th Birthday…..anyway, thank for writing down what wrote down..loved it and alot of the time I thought: ‘I second that emotion!’ (Yes, yes quote Japan!) Big kiss from Belgium! Annxx
Hi. I was travelling, saw your book in a bookshop and bought an e-copy. I loved it! I swear that you have put a voice to a lot of what I think, especially about the stupid connotations put on the word ‘feminist’ over the last decades. Except, of course, I couldn’t be funny if my life depended on it. You have a powerful and sympathetic voice – thank you so much for this book.
I have now ordered two copies of your book and plan to share them with as many of my friends as possible. First time I’ve ever done this in 40 years of reading books!
To date I’ve bought 5 or 6 copies of your book, which I’ve given to women friends and colleagues to read. It’s part of my quest to get all women to read your book! It’s brilliant, because then they buy copies to give to their friends, or they start discussing brazilians with their 18 year old daughters and friends. Most recently I gave a copy to a dear friend. She’s a philosophy lecturer who has been given the challenge of teaching Gender Studies. She has been using your book to encourage her young, barbie doll students to think about why they might feel compelled to get boob jobs and wax their bits. And getting people to think is what it’s all about! Your book is fabulous, rather like you. Thank you for writing it!
I love you! You basically reached into my head and yanked out what I thought about soooo much, but as a man could only relate to so much.
Keep up the amazing work, you are now one of my heros (up there with Gaga and Christina Aguileria!)
I <3 you!
Love a fellow Moran!
Just a productive, honest and courteously treated human is all I have ever wanted to be, but it was a challenge growing up in Sri Lanka! This is a book that needs to have been written and I am glad you wrote it with such wit and honesty. I am grateful for the time I spent in England as it gave me the impetus to be myself – to move away from negative social, religious and cultural norms. I am not married, decided children are not for me, I do not wear heels or makeup, I am certainly not a size 10 anymore and am a homeopath by profession. Yes there is an amusing and epic story to be told if ever we meet!
Well thank-you. Not only did I laugh lots causing me to nearly wet my pants, I actually for a second considered tasting my own menstrual blood… maybe next month.
When I first heard the chapter “Why you should have a baby” I was starting to worry, but breathed a sigh of relief when the next longer chapter was called “why you should not have a baby”.
A great book which made boring, academic feminism into something fun and accessbile.
PS. I once asked Germaine Greer to sign my copy of the Female Eunuch “Dear Alice, Fuck Men – Love Germaine”. She refused. I was angry and all of 20 at the time.
Just finished reading your book and I can’t thank you enough for encouraging me and to stand up and say “YES! YES I AM A FEMINIST”. As a 24 year old medical student, I feel pretty good about being a woman in the 21st century-I’ve had a lot of opportunities and have always been brought up to believe i can achieve anything, irrespective of gender or anything else for that matter. But, as your book so beautifully and wittily articulated-sexism IS still out there. Despite the fact that my oxbridge college only started accepting women in 1979 (a day which is still marked by some professors with the wearing of black armbands), when I signed up to be Women’s Officer and tried to create debate about issues ranging from sexist comments in tutorials, to the way in which sexual assault within college was being dealt with, I was met with, at best ridicule, and at worst, open hostility, from males and females alike, who genuinely believed that there were really no issues left to solve, and that women who didn’t reach their full potential simply weren’t pushing themselves hard enough. Perhaps I was going about things in the wrong way. But after this rather disheartening foray into feminism, reading your book has fully re-ignited my determination not to accept the mindless ‘jokey’ comments, the lecherous looks, the blatant advertising (Iceland’s – ‘mum’s are heroes’ one springs to mind) that still plague every day life. I’m not sure if you’re aware of it but there was recently an article written complaining about the “feminisation” of medicine, because 56% of students are now female. Despite the fact that during the last 500 years the profession was dominated by men without anyone batting an eyelid, the minute women catch up, or god forbid, overtake, it is considered to be some sort of crisis. The most infuriating part of this is the notion that “feminisation” is an inherently negative phenomenon. In fact, the compassionate, conscientious qualities that are often associated with being feminine, are qualities which would stand any doctor in good stead (interestingly, in the past year, 490 male doctors were banned from seeing patients, compared with just 79 female doctors). Furthermore, the fact that 56% of medical students are now female, doesn’t seem so great when compared with the fact that only 10% of surgical consultants are female, and only 12% of professors are female. Situations such as this, and many many more, prove to me that contrary to what people tried to tell me, there are still plenty of issues that need to be solved.
I think that a large part of the problem, is apathy on our part. The vast majority of my friends would shudder at the thought of declaring themselves “a feminist”. We’ve done pretty well so far-we can vote, we can have a pretty decent stab at most careers, we can more or less choose whether or not we want to have a baby. It’s almost as if we can’t really be bothered to fight for more-for fairer maternity/paternity leave, or free childcare, or more equal pay. We’ve resigned ourselves to the fact that men will go to strip clubs because it’s just what they do, alongside watching football and not being able to make their own beds. It’s like the whole of womankind has just run out of steam, and decided to make do with what we’ve got and stop kicking up a fuss.
So, THANKYOU, for writing your wonderful book and for making me realise that we DO need to fight for more, and that we should be in no way ashamed of doing so. I am in the process of ensuring all my friends and my boyfriend read ‘How to Be a Woman’, and I will now go proudly into the world and declare myself to be a feminist!!
You are the first one to make me laugh out loud with a book. I really loved it. It so recognizable. Thank you for making me feel less alone with these thoughts. When is the next book coming?
Just finished reading ‘How to be a Woman’. I cackled, I nodded in agreement and at the end I realised all the things I have been through just make me normal in this mad world. Thank you for the best two days reading I have ever had. Particularly related to your bad shoe collection, bad wedding experiences and working with perverts. You probably get praise all the time for this, but just wanted to say how much I loved this book and my family and friends can’t wait to read it next.
And Remember you’re a Womble!
Hi, Caitlin! I’m reading your book and I’m having great fun, although it contains a serious issue such as ‘what actually is feminism?’. I’ve never thought of me as a ‘feminist’ and now I’m looking for my core. So thank you very much. Your words are inspiring me!
Now then Moran. My wife, who is an ardent feminist, has been reading me bits of your book. I agree with all of it. Especially the bit about pants.
Almost forgot – Caitlin, were you involved in or have you seen http://www.athousandreasons.com? I recommend a look, as it is regarding the overt and covert sexism still rampant in ‘modern’ society. x
Read your glorious book in two long sessions – almost forgot to eat. Read lots of bits out to husband stating “isn’t that what I say!” to which he agreed, laughing at and with me when I laughed out loud at random intervals! I have posted a long rant about how wonderful your book is on facebook – so if you get a sudden surge of the book being bought – please send a proportion of the royalties my way.
Thank you for saying what I was thinking, and thank you for reminding me to stop beating myself up for not conforming to what The Man keeps telling me to do/be! xxxxxxx (age 29 and still not quite a grown up)
I am reading your book as we speak, not yet finished, but it is already my all time favorite specially the part about breasts. mine are big and we are just recently real friends, it took a while. i turned 40 a few weeks ago. You made laugh out loud about ‘my ladies’. so thank you! and please write more!
Loved the book! I’ve spent so long feeling I’m a bit odd cos my favourite shoes are my sparkly blue DMs and I use a rucksack instead of a handbag (a beautifully hand decorated rucksack at that!).
When are you writing another? Can your lungs take it?
I am a strident feminist! And I didn’t even realise it until I came across your book!
I think I have been repressing my frustration and downright disappointment with the amount of b*llcr*ap we ladies choose to put up with. But now I am awake and alive and angry!
Thanks Caitlin. We need more of this stuff as a society – for our own good!
I have posted on here before – I can’t get enough of you, Caitlin.
I hope you approve of the below…
Just read How to be a Woman. You rock Caitlin! First book that has made me laugh out loud in a very long time.
THANK YOU! Thank you, Caitlin, for this wonderful book and soooooo much fun. I knew being a feminist was fun, hopefully more people find out
reading the book…. got to the bit about ‘china’, and was reminded of my daughter naming the cat!!! because vagina is such a nice name!!!!
Google before your talk:
Found the German version. Will find out about Burt myself.
Great book! Harry Potter is the only other that I’ve ever read through quicker haha.
I sometimes feel a little dragged between what I think is right for me to act, and what the world seems to expect from me. It’s nice to see someone is on my side
I’d like to give your book as a gift to some of my German friends – who wouldn’t feel very comfy reading English slang. Is there already a German version I missed? Or will there be one? And if yes, how will they translate Burt Reynolds?
I LOVE your book! So inspiring, refreshing and helpful in recharging my feminist batteries! On a different note, I bought today a pair of men’s shoes, after being unable to find simple flat women’s shoes, my size. If I hadn’t seen your talk on the Dutch TV where you showed your men’s shoes, it would have never occurred to me to look at the men’s section. Thank you so much for the eye-opener!
First of all, sorry, my English is German. Three days before I shouted to my friend at the telephone: I am not tolerant anymore. I hate all these boring porno things and if one more man tells me making intimate shaving, I will give him prompt order to stay away from my house. Two days ago, I saw “how to be a woman”! I’m deeply moved and I read at every opportunity. Yesterday evening I came back from work and screamed in my apartment:”I’m a feminist” several times. Today after I returned from work, I threw all my G-strings away. What a relief, thank you, thank you, thank you. What will happen to me tomorrow?
just started the book ,love it very funny ,got a strange look when i bought it
Toll, toll, toll – weiter so!, (great, great, great – make more)
I am a transwoman. Born 1954 and 58 this year … Saggitarian and fire is my birth sign. The title of this book ‘How to be a woman’ intriguid me when I saw it on a book shelf in Asda today. I also have aspergers and stuff so call myself a mutant ‘and proud’ sort of. I can relate to your humour. I think you are just so open and fantastic. Falling over drunk and breaking the back door handle made me laugh … as in things I do when sober haha. Maybe you have aspergers too? whatever. I have been me since I was 5 years old. My hair is now dark red and ultra violet by L’Oreal. I am told it looks brilliant. The topics in your book are just so readable. I intend to seek you out on amazon and see if you have written or will write future similar material i.e. ‘how to be a mutant’ etc. hugs and cuddles xxx Jess
Amazing – everything you say is true! An excellent read – thank you.
Found the book both funny and moving.
would have liked to have seen it cover contraception (why is it still us women who take pills and devices that mess with our hormones – and guys who are long term partners who dont want children dont even consider the snip usually. I mean why isnt there a male equivalent to stop the stuff spurting out anyhow?
Would have also liked to see you cover violence and anger from men towards women. In the main men just happen to be bigger and stronger than most of us so when they blow is pretty darn scary. Addressing this in your book may have helped other men understand the impact they have on women – and helped women to stand firm in wanting to be treated with respect.
Just loved the book – every woman should read it. Esp great the sections on parenting – so honest and real. If you have a moment – check out my new enterprise for mums: http://www.beyondtheschoolrun.com- would love your thoughts. Thank you Louise
Absolutely loved the book! So honest, so sensible and yet hilarious. All power to you Caitlin, you’ve inspired me and sure many others even if no one has written a song about you. Keep writing, you’re bloody brilliant!
Great book and I am so glad to see it’s not just me who thinks the whole glamour thing is mad. It’s great to be a woman but it should be on our terms, not on what is expected of us by men or other women. Thanks for making me feel normal!
Many lol moments! Im 2nd youngest of 8 and could relate to many things….pennywise..oh how I remember it well haha…will now be passing it around..1st stop my husband! Thankyou!
Thank you for an insightful and hilarious book. I was delighted to find (on some many topics) that it wasn’t just me who thought those things! Its also nice to see another 35 yr old addressing really important issues with a comic approach. I gwaffed my way through (another) stressful trip to the in-laws and plan to take it with me on every future trip to ensure I can stay sane when my mother in-law makes me feel like Ive regressed to being 14 and am meeting my first boyf’s family. Please write a sequel, but until then, any recommended reading for those of us interested in continuing to explore strident feminism????
I loved this book. As soon as it finished I started listening again from the beginning and I’ve NEVER done that with a book before. The humor makes this such an accessible read and I have been urging everyone I know (men especially) to read it immediaitely. For all young(ish) broads like myself it should be made law to read this book. Never more will I hand-wring over my decisions on the say so of others and society in general. Somehow the world now seems a more relaxed place. Thanks Caitlin (PS – Any chance of a ‘how to be a man’ from Pete anytime soon? Oh how I would love to read THAT book!!!)
I just want to say that although I am only 17 and have a lot of life left to live (fingers crossed), your book has already altered my life. It made me think more about what it means to be a woman. Also I have been seen on mad hunts through my local library for more feminist books to increase my knowledge on the subject. I’m not going to lie, the librarian has told me a couple of times to stop stomping as I am disturbing others. I finished your book whilst babysitting my neighbor’s little girl, aged six. I sat her down next to me and showed her the cover of your book. I gave a great speech about the ‘new-age’ women that would soon take over the world and how courageous they were. I even explained how shoes do not equal happiness and that you don’t need to wear skirts to get noticed in the workplace. After my passionate lecture, she tilted her head and asked “Can I please have some ice cream Jess?” I feel like I might have made a small difference to her life and that she used ‘ice cream’ as a code for feminism. I replied “Yes, any woman can have ice cream” Anyway, I’m rambling on, let me get to the point. You are AWESOME! I shall continue preaching to my friends about you even when they tell me to shut the hell up. Thank you.
Just read the book and really enjoyed it. it made me think “so im not the only one who thinks like this?” Thank you.
finally got round to reading this, and it was even better than id hoped. thankfully i read it alone at home as there was a lot of snorting with laughter involved
I recently just read your book on the recommendation of my friend and it was so good, I went out and bought my own copy. We now intend to drink, eat and discuss your book probably very loudly and while the most definite hangover will render us unable to complete the days revision necessary which is so crucial for us to pass our university exams, it will definitely be worth it. Its possibly the best book I’ve read ever. I read it and I wanted to yell I was a feminist like you suggested except I was on a plane to Rome and the seatbelt sign was on. I fully intend to make everyone I meet read this book, including my boyfriend and they must love it. So in short, thanks for writing this book. It is fantastic and most importantly you’ve helped me find my feminist voice. It was always there, just, you know, a little bit muffled. So thank you. Please write something else!
Just picked up your book and had to fold a ton of corners so I could read passages of it to my darling neighbour and bff Bee in student dorms. (I read the entire passage on insane fantasies of women. It fits us word to word.)
Luckily my dad is the ultime feminist, so I grew up with Rambo and Ripley from alien as my idols, but somewhere along the way I got caught in the whirl of magazines and porn-borne expectations. I got all my pre-actual sexperience from porn. (I did try to find just normal people having sex, honest!!!) And yes, I wound up spending money I couldn’t afford to spend in waxing places at 16 getting brazilians. I had to quit my singing lessons in order to pay for it all. (God, I spent all that money to impress a jerk, and how am I meant to impress this new hot musician boy now????)
I’ll be more sensible and chuck those agony-heels whilst dancing to Amanda Palmers “map of tasmania”.
ergh, i really shouldn’t be writing on here so hungover. anyway! I’m a first year gender studies student in melbourne (at the excellent age of 27) and i am currently half way through your book. Thank you for writing this book, and making feminism funny and accessible. I’ve told everyone in my class to read it in the hope that they stop taking themselves so bloody seriously. Thank you also, for finding the words that I often can’t. so brilliant. i’m off for a lie down. lots of love. x
Your book is just fantastic, I spent most of it in tears – generally in the good way.
I especially liked your chapter on abortion. I had never before heard of anyone else who didn’t feel guilty after taking that decision. I felt like I should have been disgusted at myself, that I should feel lucky and blessed (or something) to have managed to get knocked up (I’m 20). I barely even had to think about it though, and your book made me feel so much calmer, and so much more normal! Thank you for writing it, its success just goes to show how normal and ok and acceptable all of these things are! I’m now going to force it upon every woman and man I know. I also want to stop shaving my damn legs.
Just finished the book. Parts did make me laugh but the final few chapters just made me feel really really sad for you and were definitely not laugh out loud in the slightest.
I have to say, before reading the book, I had this quirky sense of been let into a world unknown, even to the gay men such as I am. However I go so much more, women are forever perversly funny and wicked and I adore them, as I now adore Catherine, sorry Caitlin! http://bookreviewerparadise.blogspot.com/2012/04/how-to-be-woman-caitlin-moran.html
This is not so much a rant, but a plea for help. I have had a GENIUS idea and am going to a costume party as Caitlin. Can anyone tell me what the dress is that she’s wearing on the cover of The Book? THANK YOU MY LOVELIES!!
I haven’t read the book yet, but just saw the trailer. I have permanent foot problems due to wearing stripper heels for 6 years. Yes, I was a stripper, and therefore probably not helping the cause much. I’m not proud of it, though not for the reasons many assume. I don’t feel like a shameful slut, for example.
That being said, I have a problem with “diamond-encrusted flip flops” since diamonds are killing children in Africa. Didn’t you see “Blood Diamonds”? They really drive the point home that diamonds are mostly coveted by western women. Does your book cover anything about how advertisers have been selling extreme materialism mainly to women for the past 100 or so years? Women need to stop buying things like shoes and diamonds, period. As you pointed out about saving money from not waxing, women would have a lot more economic power if we weren’t wasting it all on pleasing men.
I just spent five days festering in hospital …so I would just like to say a mammoth Thank You for saving my sanity through the medium of your book.It made me think a lot,
but mostly it made me realise I am only 32 and far too serious for my own health .The sixteen year old me would be astonished at how fecking sad I have become .So thank you for giving me an overdue kick up the arse.
Wow! A woman with the truthful approach who fears no-ones judgement other than those who matter to her. I have just finished watching your interview on the ABC Australia show oneplusone. I now know where my book writing journey begins now as an uneducated woman with a bee in her proverbial bonnet about a number of injustices I have lived through and now need to voice but have no idea where to begin. How can we communicate before I explode??
Brilliant! Saw you on Skavlan, ordered the book, read it in one go, decided to stop trying to get pregnant for dodgy reasons, applied to VSO instead! Sally
Oh, I forgot to say something else on the end of my last post. Recently, at work a 22 year old colleague said that she couldn’t drink out of a bottle or drink from a pint glass. I asked her why? She said that it wasn’t ‘ladylike.’ When I asked her why that was important she couldn’t answer. The next time we went out on a work do I ordered a pint of guinness followed by something in a bottle to demonstrate that nothing bad would happen and people would still talk to me and that it’s PERFECTLY OK! She’s 22 for god’s sake, where has she got these dated ideas from??
Just finished your book. Laughed alot, thank you Caitlin. You’re like a slightly younger version of me which is great – the more like us the better (for women and the world). Was going to say something about blowing my own trumpet being a bit shite, but like you talked about in your book – what’s wrong with that?
I always knew I was a feminist – well kind of, from about 1978 I felt it in myself anyhow. Picture this, i’m at school aged 10 and it’s time for interclass sports competitions. I’m already in the netball team but when there aren’t enough boy volunteers in our class to make up the 11 a side football team, I pipe up that i’ll play. Well, that was unheard of then. A girl playing in the football team? Would that be allowed? I challenged this and said I thought that rule was ridiculous. The sports teacher (Mr Clements – still remember him) was quite positive about my request but said he’d have to put this to the vote with the head and other teachers. The boys were, I have to say, brilliant, as they were all on my side (whether this was because without me they wouldn’t be able to play or they were feminists too i’m unclear). The school was a forward thinking middle school for 10-13 year olds full of teachers that were old hippies, or judging by some of the open-toed sandals and Joni Mitchell middle partings, still hippies; so it was without surprise really that they said a unanimous ‘yes’ to my request. Which begs the question, who made up this silly rule in the first place? The floodgates were opened for other girls to play in teams that were short too (all good stuff). So, there I was, one week later, in position on the football pitch ready to play. Then it dawned on me……..i’d been so wrapped up in making my feminist stand, that I hadn’t considered one crucial element, and potentially my downfall……I didn’t have a clue what the rules of football were or how to play it. Sure, i’d played a bit of netball and hockey in my time, and my dad was an avid fan of Peterborough Utd, but I really hadn’t paid much attention to it at all, when it was on the telly. My mum, was one of those mums who immediately left the room when the football came on, muttering under her breath about how it was rubbish and i believed her. She did the same with Star Trek and anything sci-fi, which as i found out later were bloody brilliant. So there, I was amongst commrades on the field. The ref blew the whistle and we were off. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing but kicking the ball a few times not necessarily towards anyone and sometimes off the pitch got some positive recognition, claps and occasional whoops from the lads which I reciprocated intermittently. I enjoyed the match so much I can’t even remember who won. It’s not about the winning it’s the taking part and I certainly did and whilst I didn’t score any goals, I felt I was making a stand for us girls and that’s all that mattered.
This is a comment on a comment… not my comment on the book. I may be back!
Clovieo said that she was pissed off that she had to declare if she was married or not every time she chose Miss or Mrs. This is not really something I have to deal with in life – but because others do, I suggest we women revert to the male model of Master until puberty, and Mr afterwards. From now on, I am Mrs.
I too love the fact that our bot-bots have the most powerful name, and LOVE to use that name.
Love the idea/image of blindfolded shorts being on 6 oclock news; loved image of Keef on stage with his meatball subway; and agree totally re the way women are portrayed in gossip mags. On the flight home yesterday whilst perusing the either too skinny/fat or rings of shame I felt so manipulated. In your words it’s total bullshit.
Anyway we know this. LOVED your book. Laughed/cried/strident shouts of agreement.
I said to my holiday pal “I feel like Caitlin Moran is my mate”.
Thanks… Fiona (Happily childless and single 43 year old “career woman!”
Just finishing HTBAW – thank you, it was fab and lot more enjoyable than The Female Eunuch. Thought of you this week when my 15 year old step daughter came home from school, after having done a presentation to the whole school and was told by a teacher, ‘That’s the best power point presentation I’ve ever see in a girls school…’
Hello Ms. Moran, I am a 52 year old straight man, not sure if I am your target audience exactly, but I thought your book was FUCKING FUNNY! Thanks a lot. Some parts were a bit squeamish, mind you. All the best from Berlin. Seth
I wonder which club that was with GaGa, by the way?
Loved the book – funny and inspiring – have made all my friends, both male and female, read it.
My rant – why do women have to declare our marital status by our title? Yes, yes, I know we could use Ms but really, what married woman uses Ms? Everyone knows a Ms is really a Miss who doesn’t want to say so. Any why should we have to? Let’s face it, society does view us differently when we are married or unmarried (some of my friends patronisingly congratulate recently married friends on being “proper grown ups now”, like those of us yet to secure the ring on finger are merely overgrown children, pretending to be adults.)
I get really annoyed when I can’t even pick up my dry cleaning without being asked, “Is it Miss or Mrs?” as they take my contact details. Actually, I rather not have to declare to all 9 people in the line behind me that I’m still a Miss thankyou very much.
It’s a particularly pertinent issue for me as I’m a teacher and my title is used all the time. I don’t want parents and children to be able to instantly know whether or not I am married and make all the subsequent ill-informed judgements about me, (lesbian/can’t get a man) particularly as my male colleagues do not have to put up with the same crap.
In the 21st century, where many women never get married for all sorts of reasons, why is it necessary that we have to declare whether or not we are on every form we fill in? Can we not just have one title for every adult woman? Is it a lot to ask? Am I the only one who has any issue with this?!
I LOVED your book, so did my friend Kate Cook, who’s very Victorian. I’d always thought that feminism was a bit hairy-mary-hippy to be honest and hadn’t thought much beyond that, but when I thought about all the points you raise, and found my self nodding furiously in agreement, and reading passages out loud to anyone who would listen, I declared myself a STRIDENT FEMINIST and bought the book for my lady friends. You have brought us much joy – thank you. Love from Kate Baker and Kate Cook.
Enjoyed the book, very serious though. I’m a 65 yr old male, Dad of 4, still married after 45 years. My best friends just now are two Irish ladies (one north, one south) who worked in my team when I was still gainfully employed and they’re a real hoot. Luv ‘em and my good lady doesn’t feel threatened – ain’t she great? I have no worthwhile men friends, can’t stand the competitive thing about cars, getting legless and who you’ve shagged lately. Kind of agree with many of your thoughts. I loved the writing about Jordan. It was the highlight of the book for me. Spot-on, well done. Peter
Please do something about those silly stupid republican americans before they destroy the world!
As you are queen of the rational I vote you to beat them up.
Btw, should it be called feminism? Shouldn’t it be called, ‘reasonable equalityism’ I think so
meet me. i love your columns. i am one of those children.
Your book felt like a cupcake. Slightly over the top funny stories to illustrate your points of view, but with enough fibre for wholesome, sensible content. You made feminism fun again. And for all the women who fell victim to the edible cupcake marketing hysterics: read this book and you can have both.
I saw you for the first time on Skavlans show last night. And i felt that you and I have the same mind when it comes to feminism, and i will write about you and the show in my blog today, and also about me starting to read your book, In a perfect world you and I should write the on I am trying to get started with. Imagen that the earth is an expertiment.And it is made by a planet called CromoZoneXX. There is a guy called Fenix who is here to show the goddess of CromoZonexx that it is better if men would rule the world.. I Ha stared on my blog asking for ideas. It is in Swedish and also in English where science says it might be true. I must say that you an inspiration, Thankyou
I’m a 21 year old Fine Art University student from East London. I just want to leave a comment to say thank you for helping me to understand what being a feminist really is as i call myself a feminist, but yet am still baffled by what it can entail sometimes. I’m half way through your book and it is insanely honest and quite frankly, fucking hilarious. I am sure you make a lot of young women (including me) out there feel proud to be women and help give them courage to stand on a chair and shout “I AM A FEMINIST!”
I am a man….can’t be helped. Just finished your book….great stuff and funny. For a woman etc etc. I thought you’d appreciate the irony in an email I received from Xfm rock radio. They want us to ‘celebrate women in rock’ and nominate our favourites. Just underneath was a link to ‘Women In Rock…who do you fancy? Picture gallery of babes’.
The standout times I have been outrageously sexually harassed in my lifetime (excluding all the general sexism, wolf-whistles and comments of the 70‘s and 80’s):
15 New Plymouth. On a school trip to the meat works all the workers threw sheeps balls at me specifically and yelled sexual obscenities.
18 New Plymouth. Woolworth’s after school job and a much older man started coming to my counter every day, then sitting outside my house in his car.
20 Wellington: in a part time job at the electoral office a colleague would follow me everywhere, and once groped my breasts.
22 Wellington: two prominent Wellingtonian’s sons excluded me from participating in their conversion while making sexual comments at me until I left the bar.
23 New Orleans: I was working for a hotel and some construction was being done on it. The foreman would follow me into the bedrooms and stand over me making sexual comments. I reported this to my boss and from then on all of the men on the site would yell nasty remarks at me.
23 New Orleans: a group of youths made me take of my pants and were leading me down an alley before I was rescued.
23 New Orleans: a limoscene pulled over and a man offered me a wad of cash to get in and have sex.
25 Sydney: at a night club another stranger offered me another wad of cash to have sex with him.
27 Tokyo: a man pulled me into his car. I had to open the door and jump out of a moving car to escape.
30 Wellington: when I was a high school teacher a student made sexual comments to me/about me in class.
38 Wellington: a man I spoke to at a bus stop followed me to my place of work and started turning up every day until my male boss told him to get lost.
I absolutely loved your book. Sadly I had to return my copy to my local tiny village library this week as someone has reserved it – what do you know, feminism has spread to Lincolnshire! Not bad for a county where people have in living memory travelled on a pony and trap, and no this is not rhyming slang. I thought it was was in keeping with the opening chapters that I borrowed my copy from a library, having said that I am now going to order my own copy.
The chapter ‘I am in love!’ struck a chord with me, in particular the excerpt where you describe talking to every one in your life about your then relationship, so much so it made me sit up in bed, nearly choke on my chamomile tea and cry ‘Holy mackerel batgirl!’, for I have also been moaning to any one who will listen about my failed relationship with yes, another angry short man. At 27 I am only just realising I have sadly spent my twenties devoted to some idiot or other when I should have been focusing on myself, on being me, going to festivals and getting lost in Rome, being a proper adult woman who can cook a mean curry, rewire a plug and quote Foucault. The sad thing is, I seem to remember in the dim distant days of my education (Reading and Oxford no less) championing the cause of female artists and their place in history of art. (Poor Friday Kahlo and Sylvia Plath, if only they had access to Ben and Jerrys and Sex and the City boxsets).
If I may add my own pop quiz analogy to the closing chapter about princesses, we must not only stop expecting to be princesses but also abandon the hope of finding princes. What we must strive for are MEN in our lives (if that is what floats your boat or tickles your foof). Good quality honest men. After recently consuming nearly all of a Doctor Who boxset in one sitting, a girlfriend and I came to a very valid conclusion: The Doctor may be all well and good, rock a bow time and say sexy things about space and time, but what you really need is a Rory. A nice dependable Rory. More Rories please, and more of every one being polite to each other.
I told a friend about your comeback to sexism, that if someone says something sexist you should pull them up on being rude. She quietly admitted that a man she works with often makes thinly veiled sexist comments towards her. Last night I receieved an ecstatic phone call from her, her first day back in work after sharing your idea “I did it, I said to him ‘that’s very rude’ and he blushed and apologised and EVERYTHING! I couldn’t believe it, it was amazing! Thank you” Thought I’d pass this thanks on to the original source rather than taking the glory myself, but I will continue to spread your word. Xxx ps only mid-way through the book but loved every page so far. Absolutely fantastic, am recommending it to the world!
Saw your interview on Dutch television. Absolutely brilliant.
Just to let you know, I’m a uni student who has had to endure numerous lectures on ‘What to do in the Workplace’ recently (such as ‘Do not fall off a step-ladder!’ – important lesson learnt). When I queried with my lecturer on why nothing was mentioned on sexual harassment, I was met with the scathing reply “Well, does that happen very much these days?”. I emailed him a small excerpt from your book describing the 2000 twitter comments, reporting recent (and some amazing!)sexist incidents by your followers. I hope you don’t mind. Thanks XxX
Just saw you on Dutch television, loved everything you had to say and have just ordered your book!!
I made a spoken word video some 5 years ago ‘Shave, Behave and be Beautiful’. It is about similar things. You can find it here if you like: http://youtu.be/FbNLZLtMHbU
Can’t wait for that book to arrive
I read your book in one four hour sitting, much to the delight of my 5 year old nephew (my random laughing prompted him to say ‘nanny I think Aunty Becky is reading a funny book, with a very bewildered look on his face.)
It has completely changed my life; your book has validated the way I think and my opinions. It has empowered me to stand up for myself (I got the promotion today that I was passed over for 4 times)
With my deepest gratitude, thank you.
Thanks. I am a 41 Mum of two girls. i also run a gallery and have all these 25 year old women coming in, pitching feminist exhibition proposals, and saying ” I am not a feminist”. Which has of course been troubling me. I will give them your book (which I devoured and adored). Cheers.
Just want to add my voice to the chorus of accolades after reading your book. Yes, I would burst out in random guffaws in public, drawing slightly concerned looks from others. I will be passing it on to my sister like an evangelist spreading the word! Thanks for expressing your awesomeness x
Your book was passed onto me by a good friend and ever since I have been telling EVERYBODY about it! Seriously – ‘are you a feminist? Why not? Well you should be … and stop shaving off all your pubes!’ This book should be given to kids at school – everybody needs to read it, it’s changed my way of thinking about a lot of stuff and I intend on passing it on a spreading the word.
Please write more books!
And this website is brilliant too – I’m very much enjoying the guest blog’s – reading the thoughts of smart, well-spoken, feminists is very inspiring – keep going!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I’ve never read Germaine Greer, or Sylvia Plath, but reading your simply superb book has inspired me beyond all endeavours! To (sort of) quote – ‘If the men don’t have to deal with this bullshit, then why the fuck should we’, I feel like I’m at the precipice of my understanding, not as a woman, but as a human being.
Thank you for making me feel as if I am relevant in this world ^_^
Just finished reading your book and i was laughing out loud, everything you have said is spot on especially the bit about motherhood and how it supposed to fulfill you as a woman. I will definitely pass it on to my three daughters to read.
im really pleased to read something fun and intersting and modern women-ness and discussing porn. i have started writing my own pleasureable reading. its erotic and equal and varied but not based on exploitation. looking forward to reading more of the book – zero tolerance yeah !!!!!
Really enjoyed the debate in Amsterdam last night. As a translator you don’t often get the chance to see your writer in person. It would have been good to talk some more, but ah well… When I’m in London at the end of the month I’ll be sure to pop into Top Shop to see if they are getting any smarter on their range of sizes. I mean really!, if even New Look can see the point of plus sizes, surely Top Shop should realize they’re missing out on a shitload of money. A shitload of mine anyway…
As I said, I’m very glad to have done my bit for the success of your book in Holland. Keep writing, if only to keep me busy!
Much as I agree that Feminism will one day make comfy shoes the norm, I can’t help but love my highly-impractical-but-beautiful pairs of heels. I just tend to mostly wear them with my pyjamas though, thus increasing their comfort level by about a million. However, my housemates do laugh at me when I cook in this combination of clothes.
The book was Faaaaaaab!
Living in South Africa where we have all sort of struggles taking place on a daily basis one has to really think hard to find a “flavour of the day”, we have Orphans, Xenophobia, racism (yes still and we are nearly 20yrs past freeing Mr Mandela except it flows both ways now) Sexism, Ageism, homophobia, HIV, Orphans with HIV and then of course there are the rich folk wondering which shoes will match their botox…it makes for interesting living!
But as woman we really do have a long way to go, our men have a longer way to go too as violence against women is still horrendous, i keep hoping that there is a Nelson Mandela for woman, that we can free and liberate her and the entire country will see thier folley and change and ….i was going to say world peace will follow, but sadly that would appear to those who don’t know me that i’ve been to visit the “wood choppers” on the side of the road that we all know sell the best weed- but i haven’t, i have to fetch my 4.5yr old and i’m pretty sure arriving stoned will freak me out more than the others. So yes, South Africa, awesome to live in, many problems, can be hard to get your feminist groove on due to day to day struggles involving playdates, good coffee and working…Caitlin i am eternally grateful though that you confirmed that we dont indeed have to taste our menstrual blood…that was a realy “appletizer out my nostrils moment”…husband is gettting daily dosis read to him while he is trying to glean super15 sport results off the TV…
Hey Caitlin, just finished your book, absolutely hilarious (though guessing that was not the main point), particularly enjoyed all the ‘growing up on a council estate in the eighties’ references, you see, we’re all suckers for laughing at things we relate to. Seriously, amazing book, found myself saying ‘I’m a feminist’ to the mirror in the loo at 37,000 feet! I was encouraged to read it by a spectacular woman and just the kind of lady you would think was the perfect role model. Thanks again.
Dear Caitlin, Your book is amazing. I relate totally to your childhood (we were so poor, I was always the goalpost when my brother and his friends played football. Their jumpers were the other goal post). You made me laugh out loud with every chapter and I’ve now passed your book onto a friend, who I hope will equally laugh out loud and then pass it on again. Apologies if that scheme buggers up your royalties and it takes you longer to get under-floor heating, but on those cold days, when you wished you had more under-floor heating, remember how much you’re loved for your wit and insight.
Literally JUST finished reading your marvellous book. Have been barking and guffawing with laughter, cheering your rant, and deeply touched by your honesty. I’m 55, was thrilled age 16ish by ‘The Female Eunuch’, and feel equally excited by what I have just read. THANK YOU.
Loved it. My unliberated ‘I hate feminists’ female friends (why are they my friends, you ask?) have all turned a corner – you convinced them that we’re right. Good work.
I’ve been working as a bookseller over the past few months and just wanted to say that every time someone comes up to the counter clutching ‘How To Be A Woman’ I can’t help but blurt out praise for it. What’s wonderful is how many people respond ‘I know! I just finished it! I want my friend to read it but I can’t/won’t/would rather french kiss Jeremy Clarkson than lend them my copy.’
With 117 million women missing from the world’s population due to a systematic gendercide against us, now is certainly the time to be discussing and actively promoting women’s equality.
Huge thanks for a wowtastic book, but … oops … you really should have put in a health warning for us old folk in the bit about standing on the chair and shouting … !
Love love loved it. It’s so true! Some bits made me genuinely gasp and laugh out loud. I bought a copy for my best friend and I can’t wait for her to finish it. I need more of this! Do more!! Awesome, totally awesome!
Your book made a genuine difference to my life. I was married to a man who portrayed himself as a right-on woman-supporting decent chap. In reality he was leading a double life of seeing younger women and using prostitutes. He left me and our baby daughter last May. I realise he had been masking his real beliefs and when he left me I wondered whether my life-long philosophies on sexual equality were actually naive and simply unrealistic. Being part of his family was a bit confusing for me and I bit my tongue a lot – the females were well-educated nice women, but they found it easier to be high-heel-wearing man-pleasers than to confront their partners about what they REALLY wanted/expected from them. This bothered me and made me wonder what I could be doing to change attitudes. Your book made me laugh when I was in despair, gave me reassurance there are decent men out there, some tools to help me change things and a hope that the future could be bright and sexist-cretin-free! Thank you.
I have nothing deep or profound to add here other than that you, Caitlin, you are my fucking hero. The book is the funniest ever and when my daughter learns english and well, reading, I will make her read it. I really wish something like this would have been around in my teens. I really really really hope and PRAY that you will write more books! I need more Caitlin Moran books!
Cheers from Sweden!
Dear Caitlin, Thank you so much for your wonderful book – I have bought many copies as gifts for my friends and they loved it too. I am a producer working on animated documentary about labiaplasty funded by the Wellcome Trust and I would love to get in touch with you about sitting in on the panel of debate in July before the film goes live on our website. Please get in touch if you can – I think you would be a great spokesperson for real woman. All the best.
Hi all, got to admit, not read the book (yet) I just get my CM fix reading the Times. Last saturday’s magazine column (25th feb) was, in my humble opinion, one of the very best. Should be on the school curriculum or sumffin. Thanks Cate, for making me think. Love, Martin x
Hi C, just finished your book on a rainy Dublin morning and loved it. Thank you! Good to know that 2 young girls have such fantastic folks,Ú
I’m a 20-year old french strident feminist and I ‘m crazy about your book! Please tell me if my poor friends and family who do not speak a word of english will have the chance to read it one day or will they stay in the dark FOREVER? I’m ready to give my time, sweat and even blood (so dramatic!) to translate “How to be a woman” if it’s not already planned. And if it’s scheduled please tell me when!
I’ve been reading your articles in The Times online for a while now, I’ve just discovered your website:
RE- your homepage- Ms. Caitlin, it was the November 1970 Miss World pageant at Royal Albert Hall (Nov. 20th, 1970) that was disrupted by protestors, and that’s actually very famous, still today in 2012. If there were any protestors that disrupted the contest the previous year, I could not find anything at all about that on the web- Thought that I’d noticed that here….
a straight forward, straight shooting account of how we should be treating each other in a civilised age.
I’m a 17 year old girl and like many teenagers, at this stage of life, I was feeling a bit lost, not to mention the rubbish year I had last year. After reading your book it really made me think a bit more of feminism (which before I hadn’t really taken seriously) and now I’m proud to say I’m a feminist! Thank you so much for writing this book! x
Great book! bought it yesterday in the Netherlands, could’nt stop reading until i finished. Thanx for”killing me softly”
Caitlin – how dare you not have written this 40 years ago for me! So wonderful to realise all the stuff I have been thinking is right and ok and good (and polite)
Im 24 and mum gave me your book after I’d woken up from being in coma for 6 days. I had another two weeks in hospital and your book made the time go quicker, made me laugh and made me think. I’d had a mahoosive car accident. It’s now 12 weeks since the accident and I am back at work and nearly back to my old self- I’ve been hoping to have a great revelation or attitude change to life but the only that I can put my finger on is that reading How to be a Woman while recovering made me think how lucky I am to be one. I look pretty much the same, a few big scars and quite a bit of stainless steal and titanium holding me together, but this has just added to the metal that brill parents, teachers, writers and a collection of mad, funny women in Lancaster had already instilled in me. I should have a good go at whatever I want to do and laughing as much as poss will make everything a bit easier. Thank you!
Just finished the book. Loved it. So terribly true! tm
When I came to the chapter about abortion I inwardly braced myself for the usual lecture on how everyone regrets having one. I should have had more faith – at last – The truth – women don’t have to feel guilty for not feeling guilty (if you know what I mean).
I loved the book – great work – well done
Purchased 20 copies for friends and busy spreading the word in NZ
Read your chapter on your abortion today and had tears in my eyes at the end. It’s so beautifully, gently and clear-headedly described. I wish I’d read this book before making some of the crappy, panicky decisions I’ve made in life.
CAITLIN, you are my hero. I read your book cover to cover in one sitting whilst laughing my head off. It is brutally honest and refreshing to think that if we actually engaged in discussion about the crazier elements of womanhood we could banish Jordan, extreme waxing and frozen faces. Congrats on writing a book that I will hold very dear to my heart and has revived my interest in feminist writing. Ps. I do love heels though, I find men less inclined to ask me to fetch tea when I tower over them…
ps. I’m a feminist, a massivo fan of your book and I cant’t spell and like exclamation marks! I feel I need to clarify that to earn my place in the ‘comment area’
i’ve written an article, i’d love you to reeeead it – you won’t will you? But it’s funny! It’s about a date i had recently. gooooo on. it’s only short!
I love this book, You are a GOD!
Thanks for this book, which made me laugh a lot (difficult these days).
Despite being 55 I do think it could have been aimed at me – a consolation for mistakes made, a reminder that fifth wave feminism might still work, hope for change for my daughter and sons. In short, a place to inhabit comfortably and sort-of righteously.
When Caitlin is my age I can now imagine the kind of sensible things she might be saying about the stages she hasn’t experienced herself yet – teenagers, aged parents, menopause, retirement (if any) and so on.
The tests for oppression are clear, valid and memorable- ‘is this polite?’ and ‘would a man accept this?’
I hope the whole population of the world gets the message of this intelligent and timely book.
Dear Caitlin, I must read your book. I just read your article about the Super Bowl. Please read my blog and see what this American thought about the half time show. Thanks/Gracias Clara Caucasian by Love Hispanic @ Heart
OH MY GOD!! YOU KNOW!!! YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!!
I LOVE this book …
You are ACE-a-roony! I always worried about being a feminist but loving men too much!! But you are Sooooooo right, it is all about being polite to each other! Thank you for your book, have laughed my head off whilst reading it.
Caitlin your writing is superb! Hilarious, gritty and real. I laughed, cringed, empathised and felt genuine sympathy twinges in my nethers when reading about your labour! I had forgotten all about the hat/scarf/gloves/fork and chocolate game – thank you for the memory! xx
What I worry about is this; I don’t want children (just read Caitlin’s article on it in the Media section) and I don’t have a career. Just a job a monkey could do.
Me and my kind are never mentioned. The assumption, after ‘when are you going to have kids’ is that you have a career you want to focus on. No.
This book filled the HUGE hole in my bookcase. I have forever longed to read a book on all of these issues which didn’t, in parts, make me scream NOOOOOO YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE POINT HERE.
Also, wedged boots (which have to fit snugly) are the comfiest heels i can also run away from a murderer in, quite a distance too may i add..i joke i ran from the pub 4 miles away home, slaughtered and didn’t once fall over..ACHIEVEMENT AND A HALF!
Just finished reading a library copy of your book. Will be buying my own copy tomorrow.
Should be required reading for all young women and men.
I am still mmourning for this book 1 week after finishing. It was brilliant. Loved it so much. Am now telling all my friends. You rock Caitlin!
So excited to start reading!!!!!
I have cried with laughter every night reading this book. SO true about Per Una clothes making you look a bit mental. P’raps Lisa Snowdon or Twiggy could have a word….
I’m 62 and know this book is not aimed at me. However, I loved it; found it funny and wise. I am passing it on to my nephew’s girlfriend and urging her to pay attention to its lessons, pass it on and recommend it to all her girlfriends. Brilliant (and true).
Thank you Caitlin for this wonderful, wonderful book. I have NEVER posted anything online, I don’t tweet – but I had to write and tell you how RELIEVED I felt after reading this; it was like hearing someone pick out every thought, annoyance, frustration; every argument and counter-argument and moment of doubt and overwhelming sense that things will NEVER change – and just resolved them all into one REASONABLE, GRACEFUL, FUCK-YOU rebuff to all of it that somehow manages to do what no one else seems able to – stay strident and embrace the blokes at the same time.I’m 24 years old and working in a massively male dominated industry; there are little battles everyday, and it’s knackering. Now when my words fail me, I can borrow yours. Thank you for your incredible honesty, perspective, and many an inappropriate snort on the morning tube (and for any of my male friends who still reckon women aren’t as funny as men, i tell them to read this book and shut up). My mum was a second generation feminist; she had to campaign to be able to wear trousers to work. She looks around now and wonders what they were fighting so hard for. I gave her your book for Christmas so that she could see that there might just be some hope for us all yet.
As a 70s feminist who has recently turned 60 (surrounded by botoxed immobile faced colleagues) I am so heartened by your book.
I’ve just ordered this book, and now cannot wait to hear the knock at the door announcing its delivery. I came across this fantastic site thanks to a discussion on facebook with a friend. We’d been having a bit of a debate with regard to how often it is women who are the harshest critics of, and greatest suppressors of other women, particularly with regard to body image. Us wee skinny things get picked on too you know!
Anyway, my friend Jude recommended that I read your book, and after looking through all the comments on here, I went ahead and ordered it.
I’m now quite certain that I will get sod all Uni work done once it arrives (I’m a 40yr old mature student reading Law) but wish I’d had this book last year when I was taking optional Sociology modules, I suspect it would have formed the basis of my Course-Work essays.
Thanking you in advance, I’m sure I’ll be back once I’ve read it to sing your, and its, praises.
I thought your article in today’s Saturday Times Magazine about welfare and benefits was utterly superb. I love everything you write but that just took the biscuit!
Please keep on being a voice of reason (and hilarity) amidst all the harrumphing. You are my heroine and I heart you lots!
I really enjoyed reading your book, thank you for writing it, for inspiring us all and helping us to become more confident and less upset by all the injustices we encouter. Let’s hope that there is progress. Down with the patriarchy, high heels, plastic surgery and sexism!
I wish you love, success and joy.
Tara (from Germany! your book has reached me here!)
I loved your book, thank you for writing it, for inspiring us all and helping us to become more confident and less upset by all the injustices we encouter. Let’s hope that there is progress. Down with the patriarchy, high heels, plastic surgery and sexism!
I wish you love, success and joy.
Tara (from Germany! your book has reached me here!)
I hope you are well. I just thought I’d drop you a line to thank you for writing such a fab book; it’s been a wonderful read.
I’ll be honest and say I didn’t know who you were!! I’m now wondering how that is possible… I’m English but live in Paris and despite regular trips back and forth I sometimes miss out on who’s doing and saying what in London-town. I saw your book by chance at WH Smith’s St Pancras last week and the title immediately jumped out at me so I bought it to read on the train back and haven’t stopped reading it since. Just finished it 5 minutes ago, actually.
THANK YOU for such a refreshingly frank look on feminism; it feels great that someone else out there seems to be thinking more or less the same thing as me and lots of other women from what I can see from the other comments on this page. Thought-provoking, inspirational, daring (to have or not to have children) and, very often, hilarious! I don’t think the Paris metro knew what hit it this week with this mad English woman riding up and down, head buried in your book and laughing out loud uproariously like some demented loony-toon every five minutes. Fabulous stuff!
Keep writing and best wishes from gai Paree,
Sarah Tullamore .
I have SO MUCH LOVE for this book, seriously. Your writing is amazing – going from laugh-out-loud funny to breathtakingly lyrical in the space of a few paragraphs – and, just.
It’s such a fucking relief to read something that’s not only a joy to read, but also written by someone SENSIBLE. Someone who can articulate all those vague, nebulous ideas about feminism that were lurking in the back of my mind, and do it in a way that’s eloquent and powerful and funny as fuck. So, thank you for saying what most of us were thinking, and giving me a good few laughs along the way. (Also, putting me off ever giving birth, EVER, but then, I wasn’t exactly a big fan of the idea of having kids in the first place anyway.) Point is, this book should be required reading for anyone who doesn’t know what feminism is, or thinks it’s all about angry, shouty man-haters. Actually, it should just be required reading for everyone, because it’s brilliant.
Caitlin Moran – you are my hero. Your book is the best thing since… well it is just the best thing. Reading it on my daily commute was a tad awkward as I wanted to constantly slap my hand against my thigh and shout “HEAR HEAR” in agreement with your musings, or laugh hysterically at your blunt honesty. So I cried tears of sheer joy instead.
I know you are very busy being a strident feminist and being the writer of the best thing ever but I have a longer message for you at:http://dearmum-ablogwithaview.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-love-you-caitlin-moran.html.
You are my favourite writer and an all round legend. love lucy x
I sat on the sofa and laughed until I cried. Thank you!
Have always been enabling for women in my craft, Drystone Walling, your book is a breath of fresh air,will be useful for some of my disadvantaged trainees on alcohol/drug programmes to see themselves, rather than moulding themselves to others perceptions of conformity/beauty. Good job well done Caitlin.
Caitlin , i bought your book for my sister and my friend for christmas, reluctantly wrapping them up and then lo , my brother gave it to MOI ! Brilliant and as a midwife having worked in womens health for years ( miscarriage and top ) really found those bits grim and funny all at the same time ,how do you do that ? fave bit : an odd modern sculpture with pupilless eyes becoming more alarmed . will never look at that in clinic again without laughing . marvellous . xxxx
Just finished your book, bought for me by a boy, who is also a feminist!
Thank you for making me realise that there are other people who also think/behave/drop bollocks like the “now me” and all the other me’s. Love you! x
OMG your book is AWESOME! I’m in the US – saw a photo of Michelle Dockery (Lady Mary Crawley!) reading your book on the set of Downton Abbey, looked you up and knew I had to read it. It’s not available over here yet, but I felt so strongly about it that I purchased it via Amazon.uk and wow am I glad I did! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Just wondered about your waxing / trimming stance. Perhaps the current trend is just because males do prefer visual stimulation, and if there is a big mass of hair, there’s nothing much to see. I haven’t seen between my wife’s legs in several years, unfortunately, but then looking back I could never see anything anyway. I think you’re not right about it simply being about seeing penetration better (although that would be nice) – after all, almost all solo pictures are with neatly trimmed vulvas. In fact, “hairy” is now a kind of minority interest genre. I think it is just that most men like to see something, and given that we probably inherited that tendency from pre-human ancestors, I don’t think that’s likely to change in the next few millennia.
Thank you for getting me through the first days of this year dear Caitlin. I’m a just turned 40 queer lone parent/ graphic artist who’s gone back to uni to become a therapist and sometimes on the course (there’s an large number of men)it’s like I’ve actually been frightened to mention the F word – me, of all people! It’s like I’ve kind of pushed it to the side in an attempt to be fair (oh the irony – like a black fly..)and open minded to every man but I knew something was niggling me. I was being over polite and silencing myself. Thanks for bringing my feminism right back into the middle. I’ve just found another book on how to marry person-centered counselling with feminism so I right chuffed and wanted to say so! Best of love and luck dahlin’ x J
Well This just says it all, doesn’t it really?
“What do you expect when you meet your partners for the first time?”….Personally I expect them to look a little more human and not the like the airbrushed sole of a foot.
Keep Buggering On Girls, We’ll get there in the end!!
Excellent book. Loved it. But what I REALLY want to know is… when does Caz’ book come out?
This is a simply fantastic book which should be read by any woman who ever waivers and thinks “hold on, this isn’t right.”
My only suggestion Caitlin is that you should adapt the book for teenage readers, ie “How to become a woman” because it really is our teenagers who find themselves in the most turmoil about these issues (plus others). Maybe omit (or include as a deterrent!) the chapter on birth, but otherwise I think it could make a perfect book for a younger and impressionable audience.
I think Caitlin’s book should be compulsory reading for all men and women. We need debate on the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) sexism/unfairness which exists for women and probably men too. Anyway, I have to get this off my chest so here are some examples of the sexism I have encountered in the very wonderful world of work:-
1. Debate in board meeting about industrial kitchen costs. “We should ask Elizabeth – she should know how much a microwave costs.” I do not work in “equipment procurement” of any kind.
2. Whilst working in predominently male environment, never invited to client networking events because they involved football or golf. This meant that male trainees were introduced to clients. Female trainees were never introduced to clients. Male and female trainees expected to achieve same targets.
3. Told that since I was likley to get pregnant it wasn’t a good idea to promote me, even if I was the obvious choice.
4. Frequently asked in open-plan work area whether I could order the visitor a taxi or make them a drink. Since I was female I must be the receptionist – I was not. And these men had to pass quite a few men before arriving at my desk.
5. And the real classic – at a team building exercise where I was the only woman, rebuffed by the team leader every time I suggested how I thought we should approach the problem presented to us. At the end of the “discussion” all of my suggestions were used word-for-word. It was like being in that Fast Show sketch where the woman suggests something and all of the men ignore her but then repeat what she has already said as if she isn’t in the room.
I used to believe that feminism was outdated. I changed my mind when I started working in a man’s world.
Would like to see other readers’ experiences. Would also like to read about tactics. I am afraid to say that I have rarely had the perfect response to these events – I usually have one nicely prepared 10 minutes later, after the moment has passed.
Please start designing some proper underwear, for sn M&S collection. We do all need proper knickers that make us feel like a goddess rather than our Gran.
Every word you write sings. Thank you.
I reach 30 on Thursday and I’m ashamed to admit, until a day ago, I believed Feminism was purely about going on hunger strike and burning your bra… both of which I felt were stupid ways to try and make people sit up and listen to your point as a sane human being, which lead me to the thinking it was all a bit silly really. Then I read your book and realised I was very, very wrong. Not about the hunger strike or burning bras bit,I love food and pertness… I was wrong the silly Feminism bit. Thank you for giving me an enjoyable kick up the proverbial… I AM A FEMINIST! I am a feminist and your book made me laugh out loud on the train and snort tea out of my nose!
Oh thank god! In a world full of ‘vi-jazzels’, stupid handbags and stripper heels there is this bloody hilarious book! I’m reclaiming the word ‘feminist’ and encouraging all my mates to re-fluff their muff! You are a star.
You’re book was so good. V. sad to have finished it. I think your line about the heavy shoe leading you to think you had ME is one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever read. I also will appreciate you for ever for writing a chapter on it being ok to not want children. I’m gonna shove that chapter at the next person who tells me I’ll change my mind when the right man comes along….
Great stuff. Thanks.
I love the book. Why has no-one else ever written this stuff down? I feel less nutty suddenly! The “children – to have or not have” chapters were difficult to read but struck a chord. More debate on these and other issues required! Next book due when?
I have loved this book from the first page, i have laughed, thought holy crap i feel that way too so many times it was like being in my own head but funnier. Thank you thank you for this book i have been giving it to friends in a bid to help more woman stand up and say I am a feminist equality for all. And hairy minges for all
Phew – halfway through your book and realise I am quite normal. I’m 45, wear mini-skirts with black tights and FLAT boots, finally given in to large grundies as thongs give me piles and have a £40 hand-crafted Harris Tweed handbag that receives lovely comments everytime I go shopping. Thanks for a great laugh, I have just bought a copy for my Sister. PS. I’ve always called it a ‘Nonnie’x
Just heard about your book today and am already so excited to read it (as soon as nook figures it’s shit out). Check out my blog femalegazing.wordpress.com.
Caitlin, Have just finished your book and just wanted to say a massive thank you! It’s good to know that there is someone out there that tells it as it is! I wish I had your book through my teens and early twenties to make me feel better when nothing made sense. Your a star
Caitlin!! Loved the book so much I can’t even describe it. Our upbringings were so similar it’s unbelievable..am going to give my daughter a copy of this when she’s 11, think all girls should read it. Thank you for writing your wonderful book..muah xxx
Just finished your book and it does what it says in terms discussing women’s status through part memoir, part rant – and I laughed out loud in places. I think your chosen topics will appeal to young women for whom feminism is otherwise a dirty word. So that is all good. But, you kind of missed out an opportunity to take things further by not giving a suggested readings bit at the end. Here you could, for example, have listed sociology books which discuss the the very gender issues you do, and feminist writings to follow up (your younger readers might think there have been none since Germaine Greer!)
YOU RULE MORAN. I have bought six copies of this book for girlfriends and want to buy MORE – but feel to mean to keep shelling out 11.99 each time….perhaps i should re-condsider it is such a small thing to basically own the BIBLE of womanhood….Thank you so much Moran – We love you. ANd I adored your dedication to your husband right at the very end. It left me all tearful. Thank you xxx
Caitlin, I officially love you. As a sixteen-year-old, I thought I was in a freakish minority to firmly eschew the Brazilian thing. Glad to hear the voice of reason pointing out that going native is the most logical, cost-effective way of viewing the foof. Thank you for this (and of course, all the myriad other)fantastic and very truthful revelations. Will be buying copies for all my friends, male and female, for their birthdays this year!
Feminism and irony: A great combination, because feminism by nature is very funny.
I mean, what’s the deal for instance with this idolization of celebrities? I see women cry at the wedding of royals, become hysterical around Bieber and strive to become Sarah Jessica Parker. These are people who in turn would rather die than be seen with the most of us.
And why idolize youth? Anyone my age knows that people of 18 are total idiots! For example, Why do commercials which target young women are always presented with fictional chemical compounds, actors dressed as scientists and diagrams which don’t say anything, when it’s precisely this population group which is under-performing on science? Answer: It’s men like us who are behind these commercials!
Despite this, women seem to be self-proclaimed experts on health. Quite frankly I would not take health advice from anyone who wears high heels. Really, high heels must be the epitome of this masochistic ideal of beauty women have. I would never wear them, but then again – I’m a guy and that would be just plain weird.
Maybe you put up those stilettos because, as we have all learned, males are by nature the prettier animals. We don’t really need beautification and that’s why we are comfortable in our boring grey business suits. Yet, over the eons of evolution, this has made you so jealous, that you are overcompensating with glitter, glam and Blahnik’s. Because let’s be honest: Those shoes you’ll never wear are not worth that much.
It’s easier to look cool in a Ferrari than in a Peugeot – so if you can look cool in a Peugeot, you know you are really cool.
so therefore, I find it hard to accept that Gaga is the pinnacle of female evolution. On the contrary; in Darwinism, variety is a sign that a species is still evolving. So while you keep on experimenting, we’ll just keep on wearing the same boring business suits while you evolve. Still, I always found it unfair that women have more choice in clothes. But maybe that’s because we simply have lower expectations of how women are dressed – That you can put on anything and get away with it, because you’re so cute!
Hmm… maybe it comes as a surprise that women are actually less evolved, as you always calls us cavemen. But then again, we all know that it takes one to know one!
So I guess it’s OK that women choose men for their money to pay for all your shoes and jewellery. But then you accept that it is just as random as men picking women for their beauty. (with the difference that beauty deprecates in time, while money grows of course) Still, can you please make up your mind if I should pay for your dinner or not?
ps. All my comments are in good spirits of course. I read about your book in Die Zeit this morning and I found it fascinating. Will buy your book for my GF, she will love it. All the best for you and your book & have a great new year!
Thank you!!Just finished reading your book – a birthday gift from my boyfriend, himself a true feminist at heart – and loved it! Made me see the feminist in me and all the misogynist insults I took without realising! Thank you!!
I want to give this to everyone I know in the US and it’s not released until May 8. They can’t wait that long to start the revolution. Thank you for screaming for change. I’m sick of trying to get my kids off fashion magazines and trying to teach them individuality. Why are girls brought up to believe they need to be lemmings to be accepted and to accept themselves.
Just finished reading your book. LOVED IT. Than you for writing it. Everyone should read it, it should be in the curriculum at schools.
I’m 47 years old, I have purple hair, piercings and tattoos, as I have for the last 35 years (well,the hair colour has varied). I’m bemused by the designer handbag thing, and I don’t wear heels. For 35 years I’ve been insulted for the way I look, dismissed for the fact that I’m a woman, and jeered at for being slim (fat people can be cruel too). I’ve never called myself a feminist, I always thought it had overtones of hating men, and I bloody love them (married to one, had many as best friends). I’ve just read your book, and I’m so happy – I was right all along! In your face, world! Now I just need to find a way of stopping the car salesmen from automatically homing in on my husband (he can’t drive) every time I buy a car. Although they only do it once, a sarcastic feminist is a creature to be scared of. Ha – see, I can even call myself a feminist now – thank you Caitlin!
Having read your book you are now officially my favourite person. You were quite high on the list before (I named one of my children for you, although we pronounce it correctly!). And you know David Bennun – I went to school with him!
Actually still in the process of reading it but it’s bloody brilliant! Just the kind of feminist I like to think I am! I am already wondering how I can get my daughter to read it when she’s old enough (she’s currently 2 so it’s a while off) but I’d like it to be the sort of book she steals from my collection and reads in secret and has a huge revelation! Just need to be able to orchestrate the whole thing now….
Great book – I thought there was a chapter missing ‘contraception’ how it originally freed and now has ensnared women is STILL a confusing and taboo subject (was the omission an editorial decision?). Young women no longer feel that they have other choices than to be on the pill along with their Brazilian hair do. The missing chapter could also have room to discuss vasectomy; another taboo?
Ah,so,it looks like I’m not the only outcast that still believes in feminism.Good to know,I have mates!I’m not alone!Watch me,I have people on my side!
I still don’t have a pair of yellow shoes,though.I fail at life.
But I do have a pair of heels with Frankenstein’s adorable face on them – does this count?
For nearly 22 years now I have felt scruffy, dorky, unpretty and awkward; I don’t know how to apply eyeliner, style my hair, flirt, or dance sexy. I hate shaving, celebrities, and high heels scare me.
I always felt completely alone and alien to my fellow woman… but now I know, we are all awkward, weird, and not born knowing how to create an amazing updo or apply eye makeup ‘subtle, and natural-looking, but still making a statement’…
I’m just a regular woman in this crazy world and now I feel inspired to be myself and DO amazing things an say to hell with all that other stuff, it’s LIES anyway!
I am giving this book to all my mates for their birthdays, I’ve renamed it the Bible. I’m happy being and doing and living life with The Fear and without a Brazilian.
Strident feminist I am. Thank you Caitlin
Great book,just want to say 59 isn’t old! I’ll be there in a couple of years time. Can remember the 70′s very clearly. In the workplace there were men who would snear and roll there eyes if you dared to speak. Try to make your mark and your we accused of being manipulative. – Behaviour from blokes that would reach employment tribunals now was seen as “normal”. I used to be the only woman on business flights to Europe and was uber-patronised by fellow fliers. But, your assessment is right for where we are now – feminisim equals politeness, treating people as you would want to be treated + not having to follow the crowd. Really enjoyed every page of the book and laughed a lot. Thank you.
The book is fucking amazeballs!It should be the Book of The Year. It’s like The Beauty Myth for our generation.Every woman should read it and take these ideas on board.
Thank you Caitlin for a lovely book that tackles an issue very close to my heart!
I am nearly old and male (57). I found your book difficult at first but you write well and I laughed and cried. I am now a strident feminist. Tim
i enjoyed your book .what really pisses me off is as i near sixty years..when
waiting in a que and arrive at the front ..if there’s a man standing behind me or near me .the person automaticaly starts speaking /’serving’ him first…..WHY? age/gender related ?or both? on these occasions!i have great difficulty not coming to blows and i always thought myself a pacafist
I got this book from my husband for Christmas- I would like to say “amongst many other fabulous gifts” but we’ve just had to replace the boiler- and I loved it. In fact,it spoke to me. It may even have completed me as well, and it’s certainly now got pride of place in my upstairs toilet library, an accolade I think Caitlin will eventually grow to treasure more than her Galaxy award. Thank you for writing it!
68 year young male, just read ‘How to be a Woman’at last I have a basic insight into the female mind. Loved it and you.Funny,flighty and sexy as it comes. Rock on Caitlin,can’t wait for more. Oh yeah, bought it for my sister,daughter and grandaughter in the hope that they’ll now think I understand.
Fuck off, I’m not old, I’ve just been being a woman for 57 years. Love Germaine, Sancerre, sold my house 3 years ago and am currently pissing the proceeds against the wall because I brought my kids up to be independent. Just spent 8 months in India, 5 of them volunteering my skills and am now in Indonesia to do the same. However, the wine is too expensive and there are too many ‘calling to prayers’ at 4 in the morning so I may not stay too long. Glad one of the younger ones finally put it out there. Thanks x by the way, I have a boy and a girl and they’re both feminists – I brought them up to be people, shame I couldn’t find one to have sex with though
got quite cross in waterstones y’day. couldnt find the other book i wanted either. wandered round for flippin hours, passed some sorta coffee shop 17 times or more. its a book shop, ffs. no books anyone wanted (cept the end compendium but hmv’ll save you a fiver- when that ever happen?) 4 copies but all reserved. anyway CW brill, stupid, funny, clever – all at the same time. laverne luvs ya, too. confused now, wouldnt know which way to turn, genius leg ends both. will get book & laugh my proverbials off. will it get me want i want tho? (no, cos she naffed off home to devon. no, seriously, devon, i mean, i arsk you?
Oh, and it is quite amusing!
I love your book, it’s just the right thickness to raise my computer monitor to a better viewing height.
So wonderful to meet someone who thinks the same as me!
I feel like we’ve just spent the weekend together, thank you!
Loved every page! xx
Just bought your book in a last ditch attempt to buy in to the woman thing having convinced myself over the last angst ridden 20 years that I am never going to be a part of that group in society to which I am nominally and biologically a member. Amazed then to find on the basis of this read that I have in actual fact been a fully paid up member all along………THANK YOU!!
Got your book from the husband for xmas. Well done, the husband. He’s reading it next.
I am reinforced in my previously wavering belief that it is worth continuing to have strident arguments about abortion with men on the internet.
I got the book for Christmas, started reading it yesterday at about 4pm, and finished it this morning at 10 (with breaks for sleeping and food.) AMAZING! I will be forcing everyone I know to read it. Especially my brother who ‘doesn’t believe’ in feminism…
Like you Caitlin… A lot <3 That's all! x
Made the mistake of buying this book before boarding a five hour plane. I laughed, giggled and chuckled rather loudly until the rest of the plane seemed entirely convinced that I was an absolute loon. Genuinely exciting to read a book like this, it rather makes me want to stand on a balcony wildly waving it about and scream ‘It’s not just me! Other people have these opinions too!’ It made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts and gave me some incredible perspectives of what it actually means to be a feminist and woman in todays world. Thank you
“How to be a woman” has just endorsed everything I have ever learned about being ME…it’s just that no one has had the balls to put it in print and publish it….looking forward to you becoming a Cougar (it’s a whole new ball game)
Congratualtions on the Galaxy award, Caitlin! Loved your writing since Lord Vader days, and bought the book when it was published – a well deserved success. well done, honey xx Have a fab Christmas x
Just finished reading my new bible – your utterly brilliant book… Thanks Cait for making it ok to be a woman and for giving me the tools to enjoy being female whilst being surrounded by the virilent presence of sexism. The monitor (it is OK for the guys, are they doing it?) I will use on a daily basis and I claim the title of feminist wearing it proudly along with my forty year old lines. Your honesty is by far the most attractive feature of the book – the truth told in a way that is accessable to all – no academic bullshit, just intelligent ordinary truth about humanity – thanks
congrats on the award. Your book (via kindle) cheered me up no end this year and looking for something to read at 2am this morning after a shite day at work, helped me put life back into some sort of perspective (its OK not to be as smart or ‘hard working’ as the 26yr old girl) and send me back to sleep. thanks
I see you won best book for 2011. Nice 1.
Midway into your book. I’m enjoying it so much. Flipping brilliant that FEMINISM is getting shouted about.
Notes (excited rants) on reading so far…
Chapter 2, I’ve had my own Muffolution this year…all I can say is a hearty VIVA LA MUFF! I hope lots more women read your book and have a think on this….I’m seriously thinking we should start Muff March (the month, not the protest) a la Movember…promoting a cessation of shaving, waxing etc.
Chapter 4…I saw Germaine Greer speak earlier this year (instrumental in my muffolution btw). Seeing her felt rather like you described reading the female eunuch felt like. I already proclaimed “I’m a feminist”, I rant and rave and hope people get it…but seeing Germaine affected me. It was so unusual to see a woman comfortable, confident, brazen about who she is; unapologetic, beautifully so. I also didn’t agree with everything she said, that didn’t matter. She said it. Wow, it was really inspiring, my wonderful boyfriend, who took me to see her-bless his glorious feminist cotton socks, couldn’t understand what it was she’d said that stirred me to tears on the drive home! Hurrah Caitlin for being another bold, honest, marvellous woman and saying what you think. Here’s to us all following suit!
Really enjoyed ‘How to be’ & husband loved reading it too – shared so many memories being a ’75 girl too.
If you ever add a chapter ask more women to study physics – goes a long way to bridging the pay gap (& ‘how to be’ not any more difficult in Construction than anywhere else).
Yellow shoes on my christmas list.
I first read this in August (then about 100 times since) and I basically only talk about this.
T H A N K Y O U
It as as if you have read my mind!
My degree was based alot around feminism and my disssertation was called The Female of the Species is More Deadly (Could’nt bring myself to write deadlier…Lynn Truss moment) than the Male. Basically an account of the lack of female porn and the phenomena of strip clubs and male strippers.The diference in reactions in strip clubs between the genders is eye opening. As part of resaerch, I searched around for porn for females, to be presented with pages of limp penis…so sexy!
Great to know that someone out there thinks and feels the same way and laughs at the same things. Long may we reign!!!!
Many thanks for the cutting jokes.Wicked lady!
Bloody love love your book. I have not laughed out loud on a tube for some time. I too have a Sex Narnia. Glad I am not alone!
Loved the book, reading it for the second time… Wish that I had read something similar 20 years ago!
Look forward to the sequel!!!
Caitlin, I have just finished reading your book, and I have to say…it’s completely changed my perspective on feminism, being a woman, and generally how to live my life, whilst also being one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. I love how you tackle feminism. I love how you completely break apart the stereotypes and bring us face to face with reality, what feminism REALLY is, and not what we expect it to be. Not what we’re told it is.
I’ve been studying feminism as part of my A levels, and although I really agree with what it’s all about, if I’m honest, too often it has become a tetchy subject. For it’s often depicted as a radical lesbian’s rant about how awful men are. But that’s not what it is. And it’s not what it should be. Although, having said that, it’s usually the radical feminists that write the most polemic literature to study. Take Carol Ann Duffy for instance. Although I disagree with the man-hating aspect of her poetry, I love how it encourages people to discuss feminism. Engage with it. Reconsider it. That aside, studying feminism often has the strange way of being distanced from real life – ‘oh that’s how it was, we’ve achieved equality, so why bother now’?
Your book, however, was a total reality check. It’s made me realise the significance of just being who you are. It seems to be one of those clichés that’s so easily brushed off. But it’s so true. Women shouldn’t have to care what the rest of the world thinks. We shouldn’t have to do something just to please others. We should just do it for us. Because we want to. Reading your book has renewed my confidence, and I’d like to thank you for that. Thank you for making feminism accessible again. Thank you for reinstating it as it should be. Thank you for a book that I couldn’t put down, one that made it so I couldn’t stop laughing, and one that I couldn’t stop thinking about. You’ve changed my view on the world, or rather, I suppose, made it clearer. What ever you do, please keep writing, because your words have the power to inspire us all.
Thank you Caitlin Moran for finally writing the book that needed to be read. Helped me immensely. Love the local references too!
Are the guys worrying about this? A great rule of thumb. Have you just been impolite? – words I can use daily while teaching. And women are allowed to be funny without being self deprecating, talking about their fat, or slagging off men. Hurrah. You’ve even persuaded me that abortion can be a rational choice. Smoking and twitter are both shit though.
Thank you so much for writing this book. Just when I was wondering if I was an oddball for not drooling over agonizingly uncomfortable shoes or horrendously overpriced bags, you’ve marched through with common sense and made me remain firm in my opinions. Please say ‘How to be a Woman’ isn’t the last book you write.
I’ve always loved reading studies and books on feminism and gender studies. Your work makes me even prouder to say that I am a FEMINIST!
I just devoured this book in about a day – it is brilliant! Like someone else down the list, I am a male lecturer (cultural studies) and would love to give my students this to read. There is much to discuss (I would indeed take issue with some of the 100.000 years of history passages). ut it’s great, it’s like have someone walk up to and say, ‘sit down, have a beer (or seven) and I am going to proceed to talk sense. Its sheer bursting humanity had some of the same effect as going to a good show of portrait painting (not a comparison you expected, was it?). I found myself walking down the street more interested in everyone around me. Thanks.
Loved it. Have now got the “I’d better shave myself in case I get run over today -and what would the hospital staff think?” thoughts back in the box.
What makes the whole thing just perfect is that you’re working class Wolverhampton.
Loved the book, had me wetting myself laughing on the train and also crying (being a woman is a pain in the ar*e soemtimes, why can I not stop myself crying in public?) But thank you for putting things into perspective, putting Katie Price in her plasticated place and being very good at swearing – you are a legend!
I heard you interviewed on RTE Radio 1 in Ireland recently and went and bought the book straight away. LOVED IT! Laughed and cried and laughed til I cried! The chapter on abortion for me articulated thoughts that have randomly swum around my head for years and it’s great that this issue is being written about. It’s flippin’ marvelous, Thank you!
Yet another fan to add to the pot – your writing on the fat issue particularly left me reeling. In fact the whole book should be read by all girls for GCSE!
Finally someone talking sense! I too wear comfy (although still pretty) knickers and shoes that I can walk in. Why do women torture themselves on a daily basis?
Loved the book! Reading it has kind of pumped me up to get shit done!
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by a***holes” – thank you SO much for showing me I’m not going mad. Unfortunately, it makes me wonder why it is here in Australia there’s not too many good female role models – it’s like we produced Germaine and we’re only allowed one groundbreaking feminist per generation…
As a male sociology lecturer I really have to say… good book… I would love you in my class sometimes challenging the young women that think that feminism is passé
What a bloody good read!
Hi Caitlin, I’m a seventeen year old high school student who reads your columns every week and follows you on Twitter. Just wanted to say how much I loved the book and that I’ve bought it for Christmas for all of my girlfriends instead of Barry M nailvarnishes as asked for! Just hope you’ll be proud I’m working out how to be a feminist at 17 studying Angela Carter, and spreading the word too!
You saved my life with this book and I have now bought 10 copies to hand out to anyone who comes over. Thank you so much
The bit that really hit home for me when reading this book is where you refer to the optimisim of the early 1990s when ‘in this era of Doc Martens and beer and minimal make-up, sexism seems to be dying so fast it would be counter-productive to draw attention to it’. Whilst I don’t believe there was ever a golden age or post-feminist paradise it really did feel at the time that the cruder examples of sexism in our culture (sexual and non-sexual!) would surely become as anachronistic as The Black and White Ministrel show! How depressing that the opposite actually happened in so many ways. When you go on to say ‘we don’t know what’s coming towards us – ‘Nuts and Brazilians’, this rings so true and made me feel quite sad as I read it (there’s plenty of funny bits elsewhere though as others have said!). However, one thing it would have been interesting to address was the success of the mid 90s backlash against feminism and return to gender stereotypes courtesy of Loaded/lad culture. It depressed me at the time how willingly both genders seemed to be to retreat back to these stereotypes. ‘Laddettes’ were never the mirror image of ‘new lads’ – where were the female Baddiel/Skinner/Evans etc? The only women that featured in this world were Page 3 girls for goodness sake! And yet these were the ‘right on’ NME types of the 1980s. What went wrong? Did we just underestimate the level of cultural sexism that still existed in society? Also, your description of Katie Price as ‘Vichy France with tits’ is wonderful!
Caitlin that was the funniest book I have read in years. Loved it and found the head conversations got pretty busy. Thank christ someone has written what so many of us are thinking. So here is my rant – Barbie . Why does Barbie have imprinted knickers on her plastic arse ?
And why , no matter how hard you squeeze, do her thighs never touch ? Sure her ankles and knees do but not the top of her thighs. Maybe I could melt the 3 that have mysteriously entered our house into a Christmas candle and write World Peace in glitter pen.
Thank you for a place to rant and please oh please write another book soon .
Loved it, loved it, loved it! I didn’t know I was a feminist until, aged 16, I read our local WI’s research into careers in the community at the village fete. There was not one mention of the women, despite the fact that there were numerous lawyers, doctors, writers (one of whom was Susan Hill), dinner ladies, cleaners…the list goes on. After making a comment to that effect, a middle aged man behind me bellowed, “Burn your bra luv.” At 16, having come from a very sheltered background where I spent my life in a private girl’s school where deportment and how good you looked in the grey bomber gym knickers was our aspiration, I didn’t understand his comments. But I do remember thinking – why the hell would I do that, I’d get black eyes on the netball court. I am a feminist but I LOVE men (particularly their bottoms). I am a feminist but I LOVE my red silky underwear. I am a feminist but I can still have a giggle when reading Closer magazine. I am a feminist but I still enjoy being a part-time stay at home mum. All of this is OK! Feminism for me is about being able to be who you were meant to be not who society thinks you should be. I’m embarrassed to say, however, that it took a man for me to fully understand this – my husband who I’ve now been with for 20 years. So, I may have let feminism down a little bit – but I can honestly say that since my mid 20s I have been able to be who I am meant to be, and I love it!
Hello, love the book and laughed and laughed. Only thing is that as someone who is now in her fifties and has know since she was eighteen that I was not going to have “monthlies” or ever have children once again my experience of being a woman is completely ignored, not even discussed. The hardest thing about being infertile for me has not been the not having kids but the separation from friends / other womens narratives.
I just returned from London to my home in Los Angeles. I love the book and so do my friends, but it won’t be available here until May 2012, so I’m glad I got my British copies. Please come to L.A. for a booksigning. We need you here!
I love your grey highlights, very Lily Munster
Have to admit I hadn’t heard about you, but my sister sent me the book, and my 15 year old daughter knew all about you! I laughed over several nights (while peeing myself – I am, after all, aged 48 (I think), and then today I cried, very hard, on the bus at the abortion bit, remembering how I couldn’t tell my mum and had to go it alone. The first time that is, very young. And how infinitely grateful I realised I was that my lovely friend Tracy came and got me after no. 2 (many years and 2 daughters later, as with you, I was still breastfeeding). I have been moved.
Having just read your book, I have ordered several more copies- all my best girl friends are getting a copy for Christmas, and I’m saving my own copy to pass on to my daughter years down the line…
Hi Caitlin, I’m on sick leave due to having pelvic flooor repair surgery (many thanks to lovely son who was a tad reticent about entering into the fray, albeit some 20 years ago). Anyway, at last have some time on my hands and have devoured your book – it love it and you and think you’re every woman’s new best friend. I watched Made in Dagenham yesterday afternoon and am so proud of us, and all the ballsy feminists making an inpact. Rah, for the girls.
well i’m reading your book now and so far i can relate allot to it which is conforting.
I hate shaving all the time, i do agree women are under lots of pressure to look good.
Stayed up last night working on something and then, sleepless, got on long and circuitous bus ride to London with nothing but several cups of black coffee in my belly and your book for entertainment. Had to get off bus a half hour early on wrong side of London because I was going to vom if I stayed on the bus and kept reading your book and I REFUSED TO STOP READING YOUR BOOK.
Was going to tweet you if I actually puked! But I didn’t.
I did bite my knuckle and, frankly, cry a little bit when you described your first labour. Then there was the bit where Pete was blubbering and then I *really* nearly lost it.
Mostly, though, I was yelling at you in my mind, ‘EXACTLY RIGHT!’ and also in my mind – or in my mind’s hand – there was a well-mixed margarita that I sloshed around for emphasis.
You ARE right, especially about all the neutrals and the weirdness of Per Una. And also about all the porn, which makes me sad for my stepkids and I don’t know what to do (do I strategically plant erotica around the house to balance it out? Was the random erotica I occasionally found on the shelves as a kid planted by my folks?? I don’t ever want to know that).
I’m 32 and I miss the nineties for all the reasons you do, and damn kids today don’t remember how it was before Auto-Tune and lots of grooming. Harumph as it’s spelled. & Re: yoof, I wondered if you’d sent a copy of your book to the editors of rookiemag.com? They’re wonderful intelligent teenaged fashionista feminists and I bet this book would make their week. It’s definitely made mine. Thanks.
Caitlin, you are holding up the most shimmering and delicious mirror to 21st Century women! Thank you for the hilarious (in a giddily joyful way) and deeply meaningful (like theoretical physics only useful) contribution to the ongoing feminist/not-feminist debate. I lecture in a college in Ireland and always ask my students if they are feminists…90% answer NO!!!! I always think girls are afraid to be feminists in case men wont love them anymore. I tell them MEN WILL ALWAYS LOVE WOMEN no matter what women say they are, or even what women do!! Girls get some LADY BALLS!! Caitlin, I think your book has arrived at a very important time (girls need more confidence & encouragement now) … AND you have added many new vagina words to the English language (plus “Lady Balls” which I have already appropriated)! I cant wait for your next book and all my friends and family are getting you for Christmas xxx
Just finished reading How to be a woman and I’m still in mourning. I had to keep putting it down it make it last longer. I’m am giving this to all my friends for christmas. Thank you for writing such a life affirming book for a young woman!
Thanks for a great read. I agree with the feminist sentiment entirely, but I think you’ve missed one bit. Men do not just need to let us have a go at the fun stuff, they also need to muck in with the domestic/caring jobs otherwise we end up doing it all.
I have 2 boys of similar age to your girls. Amusingly we call their bottoms “bot bots”, which I’m sure your girls would find hilarious. Front bottoms for boys are easy – willy is such a great word (unless you are call William)
Obviously I meant to say ‘smack YOUR forehead!’ yikes, no edit button!
Wow, for me this book is to feminism what ‘The God delusion’ was to atheism when I read it: it’s stating what is really just staring you in the face, but it says it in a way that makes you smack forehead and declare ‘of course! It’s bleedin’ obvious!’. Brilliant, only negative is that I wish I could have written it! Thanks Caitlin!
1: Bushy pubes are gross, even on men.
2:If you want to, men get it too.
4:Your bra doesn’t have nerves,it can’t hurt.
5: Because they’re interested in your future and the survival of the human race.
There, I just saved several hours of your time, and some money. Another great accomplishment by man!
WOW!! At 42 and single again after being unceramoniously dumped by text – again! I picked up your book and have to say, found my laughter again! I too am a gobby mare from Wolves, which unfortunately in my world don’t go down to well with the men I seem to be attracted to! I loved your book and personally related to every comment within it. But most of all it has helped me see that however many knock backs I get, I must stay true to my convictions – even if a bit batty, and live each day as if it were my last! Just going to have a cuppa and then get on with it! lol
Thanks Caitlin, I can’t even begin to explain how much I have got from your book. I too have had an abortion and as you stated – women just dont discuss them. As a teenager I thought it was the best thing to do, as I was quite frankly still a child myself and would have been a crap mother at that point in life. The world didnt need another fucked up child in it! However I remember after the op being chastised by the surgeon for having sex at 16 -which I thought was legal!! How refreshing it would have been for him to have congratulated me on a decision well made and handed me a load of condoms! I did feel the guilt (not personal guilt, but guilt that was imposed on me for being a slutty 16 yr old!) afterwards for many years, but that has now gone and also my fear of bad karma! Seeing this reinforced in your chapter about abortion was liberating – Thank you x
dear caitlin, i’ve read yr book.i am fat, my foot can’t fit in ladies shoes.anyway i like yr book especially on the shoes that you bought but you dont wear them.write anor book pls.
I read your book, as I read your previous one too. Funny, thought provoking and honest. Great stuff
Brilliant! I bought your book yesterday and read it in one go – finishing at midnight whilst on the loo (rather fitting, I thought). Many congratulations for saying so many common-sense things so eloquently and funnily.
I have never read a book that made me laugh out loud – It is so nice that there are fellow geeks out there – at last I can relax into just being me – What an amazing woman you are a trail blazer keep going
Bought the book yesterday, finished it today. As a new teacher I should have been marking and planning this half term but….
I’m a woman, a professional, a mum, a bit of a booze hound and a feminist all rolled in to one. I thought your book was inspirational, very funny, and (most importantly as an English) teacher, bloody well-written. The only beef I have is that I am partial to a bit of South American pubic topiary; I do it for me though, not my husband, not the patriarchy, just me. FYI a silky smooth undercarriage feels lush.
Keep up the book/twitter/website writing. I’ve boycotted all Murdoch-related newspapers.
Dearest Caitlin, after reading and enjoying your book I feel like I have a new chum (therefore the “dearest”!). When I bought the book
I thought someone was finally going to tell me how to get perfect “smokey eyes”…I got much more than that and at the age of 54 started to remember all those wonderful late night conversations about feminism at my all womens college in the US in the 70′s. How long will this feeling last????
I purchased this book over the summer during my vaca to London. For the past several months it has been my constant companion and entertained me on my travels to and from work in NYC. I finally read the last word today.
Thanks for putting into print many many things I have questioned that we women do in the name of ‘femininity.’
Will definitely pass this book on and recommend it!
PS: I like muffs!!
Hey Lady, just finished the last page. Loved it, inspired by it. Bought two additional copies (wife and daughter) and can thing of 5 more Christmas presents to folks that need this message. Sadly, while the word feminism still needs to be reclaimed, I fear the book may be mis-labelled, of you may be. This is all about humanism, or people-ism – being mates, which isn’t always easy to focus on as a bloke – with the constant distractions of beautiful scents, sounds, sights that women emit. So help us learn! By my age (43), the brighter males will have figured most of this out – but it isn’t easy when the discussions happen in the context of a media-driven, consumerist, networked world – and we are usually stupidly shy, gawky, embarrassed-to-be-emotional at best. Good to know that Geeks rule the world now!! Peace and Love and Looking forward to the sequel?…
Thanks for your book. I’m going to give it to my lovely intelligent 13 year old niece tomorrow. I can’t wait til she has read it and we can talk about it together. My boyfriend loved it as well and is he has now declared himself to be a feminist. I am so happy. Thank you xxxxxxx
For Harri: A family I know worked out an arrangement before the children were born where the girls got the mother’s surname and the boys got the father’s. Our children have their father’s surname, but my surname as one of their middle names – it avoids the pain of the hyphen, while recognising both parents. The Hispanics have this figured out, of course – they all have two surnames, the first surname from each of their parents. Or… you could hire a genealogist, and get them to trace back each of your families until s/he finds some ancestors on each side with a common surname, and use that! Best of luck!
im trying to get my friend caitlyn to be a woman but its not working. all she does is eat and bowl. THATS IT! help me please! (shes obsessed with osiris shoes)
So…met a fab guy, got married and didn’t even consider changing my name – no problem so far – until we start talking about children! We just can’t figure the surname issue out. Neither of us want our children to have a different surname to us, but neither of us are willing to take each others name. Hyphenating isn’t really an option either. The reason I’ve come here for help is because I’m so frustrated that it appears to everyone around me that I’m the one causing the problem. Has anyone else been through this? What was the outcome? I’m willing to take on another ‘neutral’ name, just not his families. Partly because it’s really dull…If I’m being completely honest! Thanks for any tips!
I grew up in a rural sussex village where ‘mem were men’ and women put up with it. My best friend Sooze has always been very ‘Feminist’ and because of my rural surroundings and Daily Mail background would always laugh and say “Oh Gawd! You’re not becoming a FEMINIST, are you?!” . I then spotted this book on a shelf in WH Smiths and mentioned it to her in a toungue-in-cheek way. She insisted I read it and it has changed my WHOLE point of view about so many aspects of my life!! I know everyone has said this but it honestly made me laugh and cry. Especially the whole bit about not knowing what the hell to make of fashion!! I have now forced it on my Daily Mail reading mother and I can’t wait to see the results! Thanks so much Caitlin x
I read your book in one sitting, frequently having to stop, put it down and laugh loudly to myself for a good few minutes. Then, when I finished it, I started it again. I forgot to pick my mother up from the station! But by way of apology I gave her the book to read and now I’m totally forgiven.
You’re every shade of excellent.
I am currently writing my dissertation on why women are increasingly using their bodies as objects rather than symbols of intelligence and power. ‘How To be a Women’ was hugely inspirational, but what I really need to know now is what is next for women? How is social media and the increase in reality TV influencing how women see themselves?
COMMENTS FOR ANYONE WOULD BE AMAZING!!!
Caitlin, your book has restored my faith in our topsy turvy world. I was a strident feminist at 18 reading Millet and Luce Irigaray with ardour and zeal. But 22 years later had lost my way and thought feminism had too. Thank you for eradicating the insidious effects of the 21st media, it’s pornography and patriarchy in one witty swoop. Your book made me gasp, guffaw and weep. It’s my Christmas gift to friends! Thank you! Thank you!
Caitlin Moran…*moment of revered silence* You are my MUSE! I now have a perception of life that was once clouded before I saw your book on the “new releases” shelf in my college library (i consequently ended up stealing your book because I was already overdue with about 3 books I had previously borrowed). I could literally sit here all day-in my dressing gown and unwashed hair- telling you and everyone else on here about how much I adore you!!! You have opened the pandoras box and we are now free, as liberal people and strident feminists, to discuss these important and daily issues we (as western woman) face. Being 18 and pretty much through with the early teenage years b.s I really wish you’d written and gotten your book published 7 years early…you would’ve saved me and the majority of girls my age a lot of trouble. To conclude..THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! Drink sometime?? <3 x
From Canada, would love to purchase your new book–can’t get myu hands on one. Can you tell me how?
I absolutely totally loved this book. Given it by my husband – a devoted Twitter follower of CM, I resisted because I have always thought she was precocious and a bit trivial. I was completely wrong. This book is painfully honest, brilliantly funny and just so sorted. And I am now wondering how soon it would be to pass it on to my 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son for that matter. Thank you
I’ll have to confess I had never heard of you until about 10 minutes ago on the radio, but all I can say is you are so awesome. There is nothing more epic than a Germaine Greer mixed with Gandalf, and you definitely pulled it off. Everything you said is what I agree with about feminism, and although your book seems more appropriate for women, I’m ordering it anyway!
I had NEVER heard of Caitlin Moran before but then her face was on a display board in the philosophy department at my college and it interested me greatly, so I read the book. And consequently discovered my inner somethingorother. i.e. FEMINIST. Which is nice! Great face, great book. And now I write sentences with words in them like THIS.
And also I feel INSPIRED because someone from the Midlands with an ACTUAL ACCENT has done good. GREAT. (I can’t rock the capitals thing. It just makes me sound sarky )
Caitlin, I loved the book especialy the part about your Mom’s pants. It was particularly poignant as I was wearing my Mom’s pants at the time (due to having just had a hysterectomy and not anticipating the need for big pants beforehand rather than living in relative poverty).
Thank you for making my bedrest bearable and for coming from Wolverhampton xxx
LOVED the book. So funny and sad and wise and with excellent advice re high heels and hair removal. Your writing is the main reason I buy The Times and you’re really rather inspiring, you lovely lady. PS EVERY WEEK I covet the boots you wear in your Times pic.
I don’t have anything to ‘say’ on feminism today… BUT what i do want to say is that I love your book Caitlin Moran, and I stroke it regularly. (some times I kiss it… is that too much information?)
Finished your book yesterday, absolutely brilliant, real laugh out loud stuff. I could also relate to soooo many things you talked about. I have recommended it to all of my friends (having had it recommended to me by 1). I look forward to your NEXT book!
Finished your booke yesterday, absolutely brilliant, real laugh out loud stuff. I could also relate to soooo many things you talked about. I have recommended it to all of my friends (having had it recommended to me by 1). I look forward to your NEXT book!
Your book made me so incredibly happy! Not only the laughter when I read it but the knowledge that it is out there, being read by thousands.
THANK YOU to you and all the people who have written comments on here for an incredible feeling of solidarity I didn’t know could exist. I’ve been thinking for years I’m alone in believing what you do and am overjoyed that’s not the case.
It’s like you’ve read my mind. Thank you for articulating it in such a human way and getting it out there. I really hope you’ll write more like this – society needs you badly. I’ve asked my partner to reads this and will go on about it till he does. Currently writing a list of people to buy copies for, and I’m putting aside two for my niece and nephew for when they’re a bit older.
When pondering some of my own current feminist questions I found a blog that rocks AND it has book groups the world over that are reading your book,
These guys are on the same wavelength so thought some people posting on here might be interested to have a look.
I AM A FEMINIST!
You have changed my life, and I am thirteen. I am telling all of my friends about this book, so in a month or so your sales will go righhhhht up! Thankyou so much. You are fab. And naturally, always right <3
Whilst I’m still here (don’t know what to do now) What does rolfment actually mean??
Sequel – tweeness in the over 30s does us no favours as does manic pixie dream girl depiction in the media.
I bet Bowie is a feminist
Just read your book in 1 sitting!
M for girls bits, “my business” mum says you manage your business, don’t let anyone near your business. Commands respect and makes you giggle at stuffy suited men.
1990s female indie idols you neglected to mention who were cool; darCy smashing pumpkins, Kim Gordon, Melissa der auf and Courtney, Kim- the pixies and the breeders!! Elastica and lastly the girl from spiritualised for being in that band and wooing both Richard Ashcroft and Jason pierce. Echo belly and Louise wener let the side down, crap music and pouty posing
Thank you Caitlin for this book. I have been a STRIDENT FEMINIST now for a number of years and thoroughly enjoyed your book. I wish I’d been able to read a book like this as a 12 year old girl, I honestly think it would have made the subsequent years a lot easier! It makes me happy to see hundreds of copies of this book piled up in the “recommended” section of Waterstones. If I had lots of spare cash (I don’t), I would buy loads of copies and give them to all teenage girls (and boys) for required reading to help understand all the bullsh*t they’re going to face. Also, I really want to buy a pair of yellow shoes now.
The woman behind me on the Manchester tram tapped me on the shoulder and asked me what I was reading “as I’m going straight to Waterstones to buy whatever it is” due to the snotty snorts of laughter I was unashamedly emitting..
I’m a secondary school teacher; your book should be standard issue for every teenage girl x
I adore How to be a Woman. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your columns in The Times for some time, with enthusiastic snorting and general roflment and felt compelled to read your book.
IT IS AWESOME. Incredibly refreshing, insightful and funny.
I concur with so many things that you discussed that I would end up writing my own book in agreement.
My tits are constantly trying to escape, I’m fed up with the endless hair removal routine women are expected to undertake and I personally would also really like to see porn where female enjoyment is as important as male.
And I’ve never owned a handbag that cost more than 15 quid. Nor do I intend to.
There is one point I want to make; while you make not call yourself a muse, you inspire me more than any other writer I’ve laid my hands on (er, metaphorically speaking…) I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
I AM A STRIDENT FEMINIST!
AND YOU’RE AWESOME!
Wowzer, your book is amazing Caitlin. It’s such an insightful, honest, FUNNY read and I think that everybody should read it, everybody. Last time I had such strong feelings about a book my friends and family members all received a copy of Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist for Christmas. I like to spread the joy…
I actually sat, reading your book snorting, snorting with laughter. I too have experienced sly sexism in the workplace, I have also fantasised about imaginary relationships with men – and as for the shoe issue – we all have a draw of unworn, pretty, yet uncomfortable shoes.
I think I am going to read some other feminist titles now – you’ve inspired me.
Oh, and if you ever fancy getting pissed and passing out drunk on my lap, Lady Gaga-style, feel free to give me a call…
I AM A FEMINIST AND THAT TRAY IS FAT.
Thank you. THANK YOU. I love you. I really do. For the past few days I have been completely engrossed by your book. I should be reading about things like Kinetic art and Gandhi in order to get my degree, but your book was the much better option. Firstly, and mainly, THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing a book about Feminism that EVERYONE can read. I’m in my fourth and final year of university, and recently had a bit of a breakdown/flail when I realised I had no way to express my academically-focussed and annoyingly complex knowledge about feminism. I am so, SO glad that my uni was cool enough to teach me so much about the patriarchy, but I find it almost soul-crushing when it comes to trying to share it with the people around me, and I can’t. Take my Step Father, for example. This wonderful man is so oblivious to the fact that his every idea is saturated with Patriarchal undertones, and I think he is truly afraid of the word ‘feminism’. You’ve given me a way of explaining feminism to him without us trying to strangle each other over dinner table (again). You’ve also made me want to cherish my boyfriend even more. An IVF baby to two wonderful, amazing lesbians, he is a brilliant and shiny feminist. Five minutes ago I told him I’d finished your book, which he got excited about because he’s desperate to read it. So in summary, you rock.
What I found to be the most heart-warming about this book, is the fact that I do have a friend, who, at the end of a busy day, when we are watching telly, does take her bra off without comment next to me, and it has made me realise we are truly mates for life.
Otherwise, I really enjoyed, have always called myself a feminist, and have been repeatedly told “no, you’re not!” by blokes, and now feel much better equipped to answer them back!
Firstly to say ashamedly, I thought feminism was all about bra burning and very old ladies ranting about how men have spurned them so.. I was waiting for someone to turn around and go ‘hey, we’re all friends here? Can we not just get along?’. You have done just that!!! I now can class myself as a Feminist! I didn’t really think anyone else thought like me, at how ridiculous the pressure to look “normal” (i.e. pretty and dolled up) was.
Your book is now being read by my Fella, who cannot take that stupid grin off his face. You’ve opened my eyes, I now know i’m not the only one crazy to think like this. I will be force feeding my daughter this when she grows up!! Thank-you!!!
I was in the UK last week and, not sure why, as I’ve never heard of you, I bought your book. I loved it! Yes! I thought in agreement, as I laughed my way through the book in no time at all, that’s exactly right! I live in the great white north of Canada, and will now track down this fabulous book to buy more copies for my four daughters and insist that they read it right away. Your book was inspiring and hugely funny to this 60 year old! Thank you, you have a new fan!
Just finished reading your book and want to pick it back up and start it all over again. IT WAS 27 SHADES OF AWESOME! Thanks for the laughs and the insights.
Caitlin – hooray for your book. Uplifting, inspiring, reassuring. I am stridenting about all over the place.
Just finished the book. So much truth is hilarious, sad and life confirming for me. As a headteacher employing many young, female teachers who spend their spare time de-hairing, reading celeb news,buying unnecessary bags and uncomfortable shoes, I have resolved to not send them on any more courses on how to develop leadership skills but give them a day at home to read your book. Education will be better for it. Thanks.
Just finished ur book, really enjoyed it! It has crystallised many of my musings. I am a feminist! Yeh!! Not quite tasted my mental blood yet, but promise to work on it! Just before I bought the book I reclaimed my muff, brazilians are redicilous! I like to think I am a success in my own right with career and own home and feel there is a mutual relationship between men and woman at home and in careers. I have seen too many woman trying to be men in a mans world, can we not just be ‘the guy’s ‘ I don’t see the need to play at the game! Loved the book, really grounding and burst the bubble of these unrealistic expectations on woman! I hate high heels! Thanks for the read! Xxx
I bought this book wanting to hate it, I bloody loved it. Made me feel so much better about not wanting children, not wearing “fashion” and so many other life choices. I do feel that some women put more pressure on other women rather than the “patriarchy” though
What an amazing and inspiring book! Had to keep putting it to one side so I didn’t read it too quickly, didn’t want it to end! Thank you for being so honest, it has totally made me reflect on my life. I AM A FEMINIST AND I LOVE MY HAIRY MUFF!!
Thank you Caitlin Moran – you have put into words and onto paper exactly how I feel about so many subjects at the moment. I have two daughters and I wonder how I can arm them against the onslaught of orange, surgically enhanced, hairless, thick women who believe that celebrity is THE most important thing in the world. Arrrrgggggghhhh. Where are the role models for our daughters? I shall be giving them a copy of this book, once they are old enough and I hope very much that we will have changed the world a little by then. Thank you CM, a super role model for us all.
Hello! Just read the book in 2 days..loved it! I have always called myself a feminist, but it seems to be treated like a dirty word these days. I’m sooo glad someone else is getting angry about brazilians…when did this start happening that we had to be ashamed of having a muff!? The amount of effort, time and money spent on hair removal just to be considered presentable at the swimming pool is depressing. This book made me feel a bit better about being me, and showed me I am not alone feeling the way I feel about lots of things. Next time I’m with my friends getting ready for a night out and I hear ‘I’m putting on the Jimmy choos girls’ followed by intense shrieking (yes this has actually happened!) I will still be the only one standing in the corner looking perplexed and dispirited but I will know I’m not alone!
Hi Caitlin, absolutely loved the book. I’ve been ranting for a while about how hair is now the feminist issue, not fat. Friends who frequent gyms (no, I don’t) say that 90% are waxed or have their lady gardens severely pruned. I am gobsmacked, I cannot believe that women have gone along with this. What are they thinking? I want to look like a porn star? A 10 year old? That it’s more hygenic? What a colossal waste of money and time. Is it an age thing? I’m 42 and thought it was just a niche thing until now. My mum just turned 65 and I got her some bright pink dye ‘For Down There’ (she said it was going grey), and she said next it will all be gone and we’ll have to get her some stickers or a merkin, because yes, ladies, in your golden years you will be smooth as a baby’s bum down there so why not wait until nature does the job for you? Big love from Bermuda, xx
Amazing book, read it all in one go and have been dipping into it many times. At last someone else who looks at the whole wedding circus with total disbelief. Despite being married twice I have NEVER been the slightest bit interested in things bridal, not even as a child. The first time I was 20, and we had the wedding our mothers wanted us to have (less hassle that way). The second time I was 33, we had a lovely small wedding with close family and friends and went to Cornwall for a lovely blissed out week in the sunshine. It was perfect. Am heavily encouraging my daughter (currently 14) to elope come the time, and I’ll just give her a cheque afterwards.
BTW on the subject on Brazilians – are men really that picky? I would have thought they were just grateful it was there at all!
First off, regarding silly womble pruning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcoreV10hI8
Secondly a lot of my friends who blather on about feminism think it means hating men and not bring feminine. I bought your book out of confusion and not feeling quite up to The Female Eunuch. Thank you so much! It’s funny, insightful and not at all beligerant. My fiancé’s reading it now and every now and then I hear guffaws from the other side of the bed when I’m trying to sleep. Sleeplessness aside, thank you. When the ladies start about feminism I smile and don’t feel so foolish. Cos we’re all just the Guys. Thank you.
My wife got your book for her birthday but while she is finishing off one of my Jo Nesbos I started to read it. She is going to love it. I thought your enthusiasm for masturbation was wonderfully refreshing and I share your views on internet porn. I like the idea of porn but find it impossible to be stimulated by it if the woman is clearly bored, distressed or in obvious discomfort – which rules out most professionally produced stuff. Do not despair though as in amongst the mass of boring stuff (with some even more disturbing stuff in the pop-up windows) there are some clips of real couples who for reasons best known to themselves want to share their private moments. You can tell immediately from the genuine rather than stereotyped noises of pleasure (and the occasional appearance of pubes) so you may get your wish to see the woman come.
I’m only part way through ‘How To Be A Woman’. I’m not one for biographies but flicking through and landing on the childbirth section had me snorting with laughter, so I kept reading.
It might sound daft, but it’s heartwarming and reassuring to find out that I’m not the only one to do, think or have tried certain things growing up. Also, I’ve always been unsure about whether to have kids. I’m happier knowing some of the true in’s and out’s of it all because, for all the talk that goes on in the world, you don’t tend to hear a lot of truth.
Thank you for opening up a whole section of myself that I’ve always considered so private. Thank you for being truthful. And thank you for a hilarious read.
I am a feminist!
Thank you,CM, for your hysterically funny, frighteningly revealing (sex, psyche and sense) but ultimately and, oddly reassuringly, philosophically stimulating rant. I haven’t read anything as inspiring since Marilyn French’s ‘The Women’s Room’ but no woman I ever knew had read that and I can’t remember anything in it now. I don’t recall laughing anyway. And my lovely Ros had read you before me.
So, you have become my feminist icon (with Pete Paphides too, of course). I feel I know you now and that is both disturbing and delicious. I’m just not sure I like the smell of you. Lady smells OK but THE FAGS! I was choking and crying on the last page. Pale and sweaty with rapid shallow breathing. I think it was THE FAGS. Can’t be love at last read.
Thank you so much but I can only hope we never meet unless you become a smoke-free zone. Fizzing nuclear brain power and fun I could cope with – it’s just the fag ‘abit fag bit. And I don’t want to lose you now, nor do Pete and Lizzie and Nancy. Boohoo.
My very best wishes to you
PPS My 3 daughters and son will each be receiving a copy for Christmas. The patriarchy will have discounted you by then. I expect.
PPS Please don’t write a funny a ‘I’m Dying With My Lungs Done’ column from the hospital. The smoke in my mind’s eyes was sufficient. Anyway you’ll get leathery skin. Probably with tags and warts.
Your book is life changing and one that will be posted onto my little sister she just has to read this, it will explain so much of the crap she has had to live through. Thank you (I’m her elder brother!) you are really inspirational and I live for the next book you just have to write more for the good of the planet x
just heard this week from a friend in the Police in a not-so-good part of Nottingham, who overheard a young girl reporting a case of sexual assault. when asked what had happened, she said that she had been “touched on my child benefit”… didn’t see that name in the book! Maybe for the next edition?
I stood on a chair and yelled ‘YES!’ Several times.Thank you!
What an amazing book! I thought I was the only one who had this issue with lady porn. Having to loop a 90 second section of episode 9 season 1 of Spartacus Blood and Sand or the forest bit in the tudors has become tiresome. I’ve also told my boyfriend I’m sick of waxing which he thankfully has applauded! I’ve bought it for my dad.
I literally had to put down your book and try to think of something else while waitin on a plane at birmingham airport this week. People were lookin at me like I was a mad woman – hysterical, shaking and extremely tearful..with laughter!!! It’s hilarious…to avoid getting committed, I’ve now finished it in the safety of my own home and loved every word. Thanks so much for an inspiring, laugh a minute, gift of a book!
I did enjoy your book, Caitlin. A friend of mine said that when she turned 40 recently she realised that she had suddenly let go of the need to be liked by people and how liberating that was. I added that by 50,I have the confidence to be honest with people -and at times blunt, or even rude if need be. When you become ‘invisible’in mid-life you become freer to get on with the ‘doing of life’ than get stressed about the ‘being’ and the cost implications and maintenance this brings. Having a job you love is a great way to become absorbed in ‘doing’; you are too busy generally working hard and having fun to care what others think.
Oh Caitlin, you are one hell of a talent. Yes you’re smart and funny and honest and perceptive and all that stuff, but what really gets me is that on top of that your vocabulary is amazing. The net effect being that not only did your book revive in me of the feminist I was brought up as (and temporarily forgot), it also reminded me how much joy there can be in a well-turned and surprising phrase. You have made me hungry for more imaginative writing and I am SO enjoying seeking it out, like a 7 year old looking for Iona stones on a grey-looking beach
PS I am also NEVER buying OK or Grazia again. Thanks for the reminder
I love the book. Right, now that that’s done- me! I’m fifteen and short-haired and look a bit lesbian, I’m the perfect femenism stereotype and that’s why somehow I feel like I’m letting femenism down by looking like this, I’m re-enforcing that stereotype :L Also, I’m living in an unenlightened part of south wales, most of my friends are vaguely racist and sexist and I have very little ability to change that, but after reading this book I feel like I’m going to give it a bloody good go!
Caitlin, I feel desperately sad that I’ve finished your book in roughly 6 hours flat…I’ve laughed out loud and properly, and totally cried. I’ve recommended it to everyone and anyone who’ll listen, and just got my big massively hetrosexual male friend to read it.
I’m so happy that I’m not the only woman in the world who hates these huge patent leather monstrosities that are the £600 bags which are carried out in front so that everyone can see how much money you’ve spent – AND WAXING, i’m currently traveling Brazil (having ditched the job and the boyfriend, who after 2 years of me being in blissfully blind love, with that Greeny-lefty-guardian reading liberal man, he tells me: ‘Our relationship would be perfect if only you were in your correct BMI, and I can’t have sex with an obese person’ – I’m 10.5 stones and 5ft 3) but that’s a whole other very messed up therapy session.
Anyway I digress, yes in Brazil hair, unless it’s on your head, is always always bad, on men too – EVERYTHING IS WAXED. My female friend even gets her arm hair ripped out…I’m 31 and have never had anything waxed and am pretty hairy; you’ve finally made me feel normal (in oh so many other ways too).
But seriously your book has single handedly helped me more than anything else. Your chapter on the overweight ‘f’ word, was wonderful too…ah I could write and write and write about the paralells but here seems inappropriate and a little insane, (already does a bit).
Just thank you thank you thank you
Hi everyone! I’ve just finished reading “How to Be a Woman”. I borrowed it from my local library on three days ago.
I recommend that anyone and everyone should read it.
I really enjoyed it. I’ve had lots of conversations with my girlfriend about it. She has yet to read it. I’m probably going to buy my own copy at some point.
I do have a plenty of reservations about it.
It’s a wonderful book, that deals with a wide variety of topics that are of relevance to an enormous number of people, male and female.
Wouldn’t it be nice, if you wanted to re-acquaint yourself with precisely what Caitlin wrote about… hmm… Dorothy Parker, or… flirting in the workplace… that you could consult the index?
Caitlin states that “feminism is way too important to only be discussed by academics.”
I think that this book is way too important to not have an index.
I finished the book last night and I have to say I’m convinced that you got inside my head and plagiarised my thoughts. You are obviously very talented to be able to do this. Pretty much everything in there is the truth as I see it and, although I didn’t need permission to be a freak (according to handbag and shoe-loving women that is), it made me see that I’m right to have a mind of my own. I bring up my kids not to follow the crowd and to form their own opinions, too.
Am I allowed a little rant now? You are encouraging us to get it off our chests (mine’s not that big so I could do with getting the weight off) so here it is. The kind of woman that annoys me the most is the competitive mother, whether she is boasting of her own parenting abilities or those of her offspring. Who cares how many cookies you’re baking, curtains you’re sewing or how many books Johnny reads in a week? You only do it to make other women feel shitty. And as for having to justify oneself to other mothers who left their kids with childminders from the age of 4 months rather than doing the ‘lazy’ thing of staying at home to look after them – well, I could rant about that for hours. I’d be rich if I demanded a tenner from every person who’s ever asked me, “When are you going back to work then?” Whose business is it anyway and why should anyone else give a shit if it’s the best way for our family to be? Pah! For the record, I’m about to start a job next week when my younger child starts reception class. So that’s OK now isn’t it?!
Also, the broody thing. Two is my limit, and I have been amused on more than one occasion to see the confused look in Playgroup Mama’s eyes when my reply to, “Wouldn’t you love to have another?”, was, “God no! Hubby’s had the snip!”
Anyhoo, thanks for the cracking read. I chuckled lots, nodded sagely, and thought occasionally, “I’d like to meet her down the pub one day”. Hubby-who’s-had-the-snip* is about to read it now. He may learn a thing or two.
*Not that I’ve got more than one. Not yet, anyway.
Your book has been an amazing read.It was as if you had taken some of my favourite rants especially brazillians, big pants and bra’s and put them down in print but with alot more style, substance and intelligence. Thank you! I also have a queue of friends desperate to read it after me!
just finished reading your book, was amazing couldn’t stop laughing. Who knew i was a feminist all along?
however did not have the oppertunity to stand on a chair and shout I AM A FEMINIST as being on a bus in Glasgow full of upset Rangers fans was unfortunatly not the time or the place for such an action
Having waded through ‘The Womens Room’ before picking up your book, I was in need of a good laugh. Thank you so much for your witty and insightful take on modern feminism.
Yeah, it was a great book, which I devoured in two bath-sittings, and I laughed loads and read bits out constantly to my boyf despite him trying to run away …
BUT, there was one bit I disliked so much that I had to dog-ear the page. It’s the rant you have about feminist historians ‘pretending that there is a parallel history of women being victorious and creative’.
Now, you’re right that The Patriarchy has been a pretty steady institution over the years, and over the world as well. But you’re not right in wanting to detach yourselves from all of the INCREDIBLY creative and victorious women of the past.
The Patriarchy extends to our history books and makes us think that the achievements of these women (Aphra Behn, Elinor Ostrom,Mary Montagu, Saint Clare of Assisi, Elizabeth Cary, Emmy Noether and so on and on and on and on, seriously, there are way too many for a ‘private karaoke booth in SingStar’) were littler than they were… But they did exist, and it’s massively IMPOLITE to ignore them and forget them and dismiss their wonderful contributions (which are often very funny… female humour did not suddenly spring up in the 20th century) which were made despite their not having the vote or a right to earn their own money.
Other than this, the book was a whale of a read… esp. the chapter on having children.
Ditto to all previous comments re: laughing out loud and ranting and associating with everything in your book. Have copies on order for all my friends and am flooding Vancouver with your writing whilst on holiday. THANKS!
Just finished your book. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for writing it – I’m off now to buy a few dozen copies more so I can give one to every woman I know. Actually, make that every person I know. You are awesome.
Your book is hilarious.
I am so glad I read it. Yay for Strident Feminism.
And again, cheers… I’ve just finished it and it was a truly charming read….
Thank you… Your book has just magically encompassed a a s**t load of topics I’ve been banging on about for years and have increasingly been met with at the very best confused furrowed brows and at worst, a look of contempt… “well you’re not exactly a typical woman are you…?”
So thank you muchly… I started laughing a couple of pages in and haven’t stopped.
Loved loved loved it. Laughed like crazy. Gave it to my sister too and she loved it too. A big THANK YOU Caitlin.
As I am a 19 year old girl who is facing many of these moral dilemmas currently such as the bush vs the barren desert (currently rocking the bush mainly due to no male subjects here in the back end of no where and laziness)and whether showing of my lady area will actually get me laid, reading this book made me think “do you know what Lizzie, you are going to be alright”. Not that I ever doubted it as this generation of praise parenting has left me with incredibly high self esteem and nothing but arrogance. Excellent book, have recommended to all and have thrown at my dad on various occasions. You are a hero x
Loved, loved, loved it! The chapter on labour had me vehemently nodding in recognition. I too feel labour changed me irreversibly as a person. Surviving it twice puts everything in perspective! Got some funny looks on the plane home from cyprus whilst laughing out particularly from the lad in his early twenties reading nuts magazine. I think he wished he hadn’t asked what i was reading!
Only started reading it yesterday, have already been band by my children from reading it in public as they find the constan bursts of laughter too imbarecing. Reading bits out loud to my 14 year old had us both in fits of giggles.
Just simply – THANK-YOU!
You helped me get some pretty [apparently ] major things straight in my head. I am not alone in my opinions!
p.s. and your hair is fantabulous xo
Well, I did like the book and it did make me smile in a lot of places (I mean a lot of places in the book, not a lot of places on me. That would be very difficult. Well, maybe possible in one or two places, but that’s about it really). Anyway, it was OK, but it did bang on a bit in one particular vein: women are wonderful, and men are not. Well, I fully agree with the former, but the latter is a bit harsh. Especially given that the bulk of the book is about equality. Or is it more a case of, women and men are equal, but women are more equal than men…..
Anyway, I thought I would offer a companio0n volume: How To Be A Man.
Wake up. Scratch your balls. Have a great day!!
I must confess that I got the book free from The Times. Therefore, because no money had changed hands, I didn’t feel obliged to like it whatever. Also, I am a 62 yo bloke so chances are it would either infuriate me or scare me to death.
Actually, I haven’t just simply ENJOYED a book like I enjoyed this one for ages – even the sad/thoughtful bits. So, thank you, and can I be a strident feminist too?
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your book, thank you for writing it and letting us have a read. I have to admit, I have always wondered what being a feminist actually means. I work in a male dominated industry (I design live sound systems for venues/theatres etc. amongst other things), and even though when I used to demo mixing desks people (i.e. men) would say “but how do you know how to do this, you are just a woman?”, I would just kind of shrug it off, and just expect that sort of thing to happen. It shouldn’t have to happen though. I shouldn’t have to prove that I have a brain, and that I can use some music tech gear as well as the next guy. I should just be able to get on with my job and enjoy it, without worrying whether at a trade show I’ll be asked to prove I can move some faders on a mixing desk, or hold a microphone the right way.
I am not very ‘girly’ – I don’t wear high heels, or have any beauty treatments, or own more than 4 dresses – but I am glad that I don’t really have to. Yes, people ask me why I don’t wear makeup (women mainly), and sometimes perhaps two eye brows would be better than one, but I enjoy who I am and what I look like. I like the fact I have lots of male friends who treat me as ‘one of the guys’, and I feel that women can just be, rather than being something they are not. I am 30 and feel I have so much more to give, and hope that other women will see that it is possible to make it in a male dominated world – and still have fun. Hopefully one day I won’t have to prove myself, but more importantly, I won’t be bothered as much by it.
Thank you again!
Thank you for this book! Reading it felt as though someone had looked inside my head, taken my thoughts and written them down in a more humerous, thougthful and clever way than I ever could! I have long wondered if my attutide towards strip clubs, porn and hair removal was just old fashioned and grumpy. I now feel confident to say that strip clubs are sad scary places, porn is boring and sexist and pubic hair should be left alone – I struggled through puberty, why should I rip, burn, shave and tweeze away one of the things I struggled to develop? No- one will be filming me having sex so there is no need to prepare myslef for ‘penetration shots’!
Thank you too for addressing abortion and not having children – I work in Parenting Support (don’t get me started on the sexism I encounter there, from men and women)and wholeheartedly agree that if you don’t want a child then don’t bloody well have one!! They are HARD WORK, there is little thanks involved and if you dare go to a ‘professional’ for help and support you will be scorned for not being able to cope on your own, however, if your child is less than perfecrly behaved you will also be scorned for not doing a good enough job as a mother. Humpf, grrrr and aarrggghhh!!!
Ok, rant over.
THANK YOU, I love this book.
Whilst reading your book, a lot of excellent things happened in my mind. Among the most liberating (sadly?) was that I can not wear heels, I do not want to wear heels, and I do not have to wear heels! YAY! Nobody has ever told me this before.
On a more serious note, yours is the first book I have ever read written by a feminist, dealing with issues surrounding feminism. It felt good to know that my discomfort and downright disgust which many elements of society is not just due to me being insecure, nitpicky, neurotic or “over sensitive”. THANK YOU. I am more confident and self assured for having read your book. No lie!
First time for everything, including posting a comment, indeed coming across you at all. Was given your book on my 45th birthday by my older, sensible Managing Director brother who is much more hip than me (Lawrence, you know who you are). Great present! Disagreed with much, but that’s OK as being your own person seems to largely be the point; humour and niceness help. Will call myself a feminist in future, but quietly to start with. Agree with you on shoes, muffs, underwear and much, much more. Many thanks.
P.S I’ve read some Plath, she’s a nutter, and some De Beauvoir, a bit heavy-going, and have found your feminist stuff pretty easy to read. PPS I love your hair!
Just started reading your book today and I’m already half way through. I’ve found it rather enlightening to learn that feminists aren’t dowdy, boring, angry women but instead are rather cool. Being only 18 I’m struggling with lots of references to popular culture in the 80′s etc but still laughing a lot! I think this book will guide me through my university years.
Wow,wow,wow! Thank you for writing this book, you are a superstarlet.
I was stood up on Saturday evening (he FELL ASLEEP would you believe) and ended up in the rain at a tube station at midnight being hit on by a pervy alcoholic.
Absolutely enraged, not least because I’d suffered the indignity of a bikini wax 2 days before in anticipation of the night-that-wasn’t, I stormed home and got reading.
Your book made me laugh so, so much and best of all made me realise I am so much better and more comfortable without this particularly dozy man, however lovely his biceps are.
So thank you for giving me a much needed kick up the arse.
Just finished your book. Really excellent, laugh out loud funny and thought provoking. Who knew I was a feminist?! The ‘realising-you’re-not-going-to-be-a-princess’ bit really resonated, though sad to only be discovering this at the age of 29 and 3/4, rather than 18…!
Just inhaled your book in less than 24 hours, couldn’t put it down. It made me cry (in a good, thank fuck someone is talking sense, way!) Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Fantastic book! I bought it at Heathrow about to fly off on my honeymoon. It was so funny I woke my husband up a few times laughing so much. I particularly liked the parts about your teenage years, I thought my puberty was dysfunctional but it seems they all are! It took me back to the heady days of discovering a sex manual that my day had bought as a form of sex education (I overheard my mum quite rightly disapproving quite loudly but though it was worth hunting out anyway) and made me remember a volvo/vulva confusion from early years! Important message though and a good celebration of all things female. Luckily I’ve spent my years being managed by good female managers and am hopefully seen in the same way by the people I now manage so I’ve not experienced a lot of sexism but its out there. Three years ago in my office only 2/12 managers were female, now its 11/15! Most of the men have been demoted or sacked so maybe tides are turning, in small ways at least. Finally wanted to say that I used to devour music magazines in my depressed teen years and I remember reading one of your articles, probably about Marilyn Manson, or Brian Molko or someone I idolised at that point and thought you had a cool name and must be really cool. It was interesting to read the story behind those years, and you are pretty cool!
big up the wolves massive biatch… thats not terribly polite is it… meant will all power and respect to you though dear! Fan-bloomin-tastic book, loved every second, viva la flats! and yes i did also get funny looks laughing out loud on the 126 bus. write more books because errrr i will read them and if ever you needed a reason suuuurely thats it! you are ace. and you have done well. love xxxx
I was reading it on my holidays, beside a pool in Vegas. Felt kind I don’t want it to end!
Almost finished your book – don’t want it to end. Can you write another one soon please? I’m sure there’s LOTS you’ve left out.
Have u seen where ppl end up if the forget to put the dash in your website address? brilliant! http://www.howtobeawoman.com
I was so excited to hear a book was coming out that was both funny and feminist. My own feminist journey started at university when I realised for the first time that a lot of men and quite a few women generally believed that men were simply better.
I started from the pt of could this be true? (like you said lots of historical evidence), then got really angry, then got sad because I liked men and didn’t enjoy being angry and then came up with a similar theory to your loser vs winner argument. “Men are sexist because they can be and it ultimately works out for them” not because they hate women are inherently angry, cruel etc.
BUT we’ve got it better now than ever before in history SO DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT. Also don’t let women get away with it. Nothing annoys me more than a woman says “I couldn’t work with women they’re so bitchy/can’t be trusted.”
I loved your celebration of ageing “lines and gray hair are natures way of telling you not to fuck with someone” I’m only 28 but I’m looking forward to being an older women, with the laughter lines that go with it. Something’s Gotta Give with Diane Keaton is the ultimate older talented, accomplished woman outshines, hot leggy young girl. I love it! http://bit.ly/q6LdfE
I now know how to be a woman. My daughter made me read your book – she could see the need. What a relief actuallly. Thank you.
As a fellow 30 something Wulfrunian, professional working mother of three, I really appreciated and loved your book. Did get some funny looks laughing out loud on the train though!
Read it. Loved it. Lived it. BRILL! Just given my 15 year old son a lesson in ironing and told him he will be cooking once a week for the family – His expression was Priceless.
I’m off upstairs now to platt my muff and dance to 80′s records with wild abandonment.
Didn’t realise I was a feminist ’til i read your book, agree with you on so much stuff, especially shoes & handbags, feel slightly superior for not wasting money on wedding. Good on yer.xx
Just read your brilliant book, and wanted to say a big THANK YOU. I’ve learnt things I should have known! Really enjoyed it – read most of it on the beach in Cornwall. With an umbrella!
PS – I call mine “the lads” (spoken in a Belfast accent, for some unfathomable reason).
I bought your book in my lunch break yesterday, started reading it on the way home, GURGLING with glee on the train, then stayed up all night to finish it. I laughed so hard my upstairs neighbour banged on the ceiling to shut me up, and I cried for an hour after reading chapter 13. The sheer bloody relief of having someone I respect come out and say it: it’s ok not to want children, and I have more than enough to offer the world without becoming a mother. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU. I’ve quoted you all over the facebooks and am buying a copy of HTBAW for everyone I love for Xmas.
I loved your book and it was very funny and interesting. Before i read your book i didn’t want to say out loud that i am a feminist because of the reactions i would get, but that stops now. This book is wonderful and you bring up important issues in a fun way. The best book i’ve read in years, so i just want to thank you. Thank you Caitlin Moran for your fantastic book!
Evening all! I already posted on this page but this book has inspired a now overt awareness of all things anti-feminist. I had to share this link of ads aimed at women:
Rant-inducing to say the least…!
So much to relate to. At 39 I now know that I am truly a woman and yes I am also a feminist – WOW!! A brilliant read and I will now pass the book on to my 17 year old daughter.
I picked up your book because of one reason only. Your hair. First thought. Bugger she’s copied my hair thats mine that is. Been trying to do it for ages but the hairdresser wouldn’t let me. Just like she wouldn’t let me turn it green or blue etc. (i have tried myself but never works over daark hair!). Always vexed me she’d be there with purple hair but wouldn’t let me do it! (You have a proffesional job it probably won’t work!) Unnfortunatley she was right and in the industry i work in I would never have got another job.(thats another story! But they are pre dinosaurs!) But in the end she finally gave in to my nagging! Then it was your clothes. Ahhhh, I remeber on leaving uni saying, “I WILL NEVER HAVE A JOB WHERE I WEAR A SUIT”. Managed to get away with it for a while but in the end I was taken to one side and asked to consider dressing smarter when the factory had customer’s visiting. I conformed and bought an NEXT suit (still wore DM’s for a while with it and always stripey socks!). So I saw you on the cover and thought ahh yeah thats me. Then hubbie said “WOW you look like Caitlin Moran!, Look” he said holding up the book .There is a resemblence but when he said it to the girl at the til as I bought the book and she went “Amazing book its great!” then looked at me and looked at the cover and said “actually you do! do you write too?” I decided to bite my tongue and stop mysefl from correcting everyone and saying “NO I think you’ll find she looks like me! As I’m older!” But thought better of it.
Anyway have now read this from cover to cover and it made me howl, especially the comment about the Priory being like a family hotel in welshpool, having worked in welshpool for 5 years and stayed at the only hotel there you described it perfectly, though it has now been refurbished and looks a litte swish! Thanks for a fab laugh and a book i will read over and over again. Big knickers definetly rule! And so does being different. Which i do, if I did conform with the hair and the suit! As for sexist comments here are a selection I’ve had to put up with “Did you make these indentations in this canister with your breasts!” “And what is your role? to look pretty by the machine!” “Are you lost luv? I’m waiting for a Mister Haulwen, don’t think you can help me!” ” Don’t you think you’d look nicer in a SHORT, skirt!” “Wow you have huge tits!” “Believe me I can think of much more enjoyable ways to make you fat than feeding you biscuits” . The list goes on!!
I said to hubbie. Caitlin is now on my list of people I’d have at by dream dinner table. He said “we’d better lock up the booze then!”.
Absolutely loving this book – I was given 2 copies for my 50th Birthday (tomorrow). I then get to page 99 and the comment about the vietnamese kid was just too much for me. Bloody hell Kate you are a master of ananylogy – there were loads others to choose from – it made my toes curl. I gave it a while – forgave what perhaps only I found offensive and I am back loving your book again. Great read!
Just finished the book and apart from buying copies for all my chums, now plan to memorise lines so I can elegantly & wittily refute stupid statements that get made late at night when I am too squiffy to quite pull my words together into a bitingly coherent sentence. Yay.
Having been raised by a mother who lectures in gender studies, feminism is something I’ve grown up with. However, being an 18-year-old feminist has its difficulties. Most of the boys in my college assume I’m a man-hating lesbian – actually, most of the girls probably assume I’m a man-hating lesbian too. I remember when I was showing a friend a monologue I had written for english – through the eyes of an opressed housewife who rolls her husband’s portion of broccoli in bits of floor-dust before serving it to him – and she turned to me and said, “I can’t stand feminism. It’s so stupid!” She might as well have punched me in the face and told me David Bowie had died. And so I wasn’t actually surprised when I found out that “only 42 percent of British women” would call themselves a feminist. Less than half! So it’s uplifting to read a book such as yours. It’s a brilliant book. It made me get very frustrated with society, it made me laugh (a lot), and it made me stand on a chair and declare my support of the Revolution. Even though my only audience was my cat, who wondered what on earth her human was doing. The other day, my other, more open-minded friend was ranting about her ex. She said, “I’m done! I’m finished with men!” and so I turned to her and said, “Well, there’s this book you should definately read…”
Brilliant. The book I wanted to write, but I can’t write or formulate any thoughts!
I am now quoting you all over the place. Beyonce is looking for a new word for Feminism, btw!
Just read your book for the 4th time, love your voice!And finally someone besides me who can’t see much point in bikini waxes(I can’t think of anywhere worse to get stubble rash) or living in high heels. Also I <3 Gaga and Jordan reminds me of a shark with basoombas (thank you Louise Rennison for the very best word for boobs ) You're awesome! xx
Thank you thank you thank you for the fantastic book! It’ annoyed my bf at night with my dirty laughter, FANTASTIC !! As for Courtney, he sounded EXCACTLY right down to the small, skinny part in a band, ex bf of mine. I’m glad i’m not the only one who has trouble with bras and imaginary relationships. Very empowering book in all the right ways – like a good fitting black dress. Goes with everything
Hi, I’ve read your book and saw you in your talk at the Brighton Old Market. I’m now a firm fan – I was totally ready to stand on a chair and shout I’M A FEMINIST, I’M A FEMINIST, I’M A FEMINIST! with the audience – which would have been totally thrilling but the opportunity never arose, so I suggested it to you at the book signing. Did you say it was cool idea!? – My thinking is that women need to get into ballsy activity like this to to normalize feminist thinking/activity, like men do watching a football match (I imagine!?) Anyway, you’ve inspired me in a time of doom and gloom and apathy – I’ve bought countless copies giving them to people I love – a personal tradition, when anything inspires me enough and touches the TRUTH! I’m a documentary filmmaker and it would be wonderful to be a part of the team that makes the film! So please, please let me know if there is a way of being part of the production it would be an absolute honor!!! My smiley faces marking the ‘laugh out load’ funny points in the book would be indelibly marked on my face!
All power to your pen… and a big generous hug, Natalia x
Having also made it through growing up in Wolverhampton (for information the 511 driver was also a pervert) a friend pointed me to your book on the grounds of our shared home town.
And am I glad she did. How I laughed.
A brilliant and witty portrayal. I didn’t even realise the joy of taking off my horrific tight bra until you mentioned it. I unhooked it right away. Luckily I was at home.
As someone who has just hit the age where all of my friends are getting hitched at great expense – the wedding section had me in PIECES. So much so, that as I sat at the bus stop reading it, a kindly passer by asked if I was ok.
Loved it ‘bab.’
Rachel (wolverhampton survivor)
I was at University in 1969, when Germaine was rattling the cage bars. Caitlin I have followed your career with interest over the years and applauded your insight and humour. Having campaigned for equality in the workplace as a profession and now listen closely to the challenges facing my daughter and her friends, I can identify and agree with all the nonsense in the issues you raise. I was unable to put your book down til I finished it just now. You are so right about many of your observations and I laughed loudly at the ridiculousness of so many of the social expectations women face. You are right, things will change eventually and yes, men will appreciate the new order we will put in place. Please write more ! Become an MP. Let me know if I can help you – even if its doing the necessary admin?
I just finished your book. I was delighted, amused, enthused, encouraged. I am sad I have finished it and may read it again.
i thought i had being a woman sussed. i thought, at 21, that all the other problems i was tackling were nothing to do with my trying to work out how to be a woman. (wrong- everything to do with that. even though i’ve said that the word ‘feminism’ needs to be rehabilitated, i espoused ‘humanism’ because i thought ‘feminism’ sort of missed the point a bit…i’ve changed my mind and i have re embraced the word) by the time i’d read the first three chapters i realised how much of myself i’d twisted and repressed in the hope no-one would spot me as a fraud of a woman. i realised how much i needed to hear those things. all of those things, not least of all, when the fuck did it start costing us money to have a vagina?
then i read your book, and lent it to my sisters and told all my friends to read it. and i looked at the picture of you on the back cover many times as i was reading it, wondering what you looked like when you spoke (i’m not sure why, but you can only like someone properly if you know what their face looks like in animation), and i finished the book and felt like….i could relax, finally. thank you for writing this book. thank you, thank you.
I NEVER re-read books…why would you when there are so many to read in the first place? My normal mode of reading is – get into bed, read a page, wake up dribbling with said book on face. Not this book though! I loved it, laughed out loud. A lot. Even on the plane. I’ve bought it for my friends and now wish I had a daughter I could pass it on to. It has even made me re-consider my pubic hair, growing bushier by the second. I am approaching 41 and was on the verge of going down the Botox route. I had even booked my appointment….now cancelled. A truly inspiring read and I’m now re-reading it just in case I missed a bit. Thank-you.
I wrote my last comment before I had finished your book and now have to come back to say that i think you missed a bit! The biggest challenge for most women who have kids is the whole how to combine work and motherhood thing and how The Man is really not helping us AT ALL. In fact we are going backwards (see recent government policy). We are asked either to outsource all our mothering responsibilities to paid help or put our careers on the back burner for the forseeable – well that applies if you work in any kind of office bound culture that expects more than a basic 9 to 5. It was a shame that you did not tackle this more. I would have loved to hear your tips for dealing with it. Like you I have had a redoubling of my ambition since my son was born but in my industry simply do not know how I will fulfill that ambition if I still want to see my son awake even for an hour a day between Monday and Friday. Any tips?
Just finished your book – cldn’t hv come at a better time for a friend who has jst been thru the trauma of abortion in similar cicumstances to you own. Have met your family – think met you once – how is the lovely Chel? And of course the glorious Margaret!
Thank you Caitlin for a brilliant book – the most refreshing take on women I have read for many a year. As a 53 year old it’s explained a number of things to me – not least the new (??) craze for getting rid of pubic hair. I read an article about this in the Times mag a few weeks ago and was somewhat horrified! To some one of my age – total anathema! Can’ t understand why young women would put up with this humiliating and uncomfortable experience at a time when women can basically do anything they want if they put their minds to it: made me feel positively liberated by comparison!
I will watch with interest in 15 years time to see if how you tackle menopause. Despite some comments I have read on this site some women ( me included ) do suffer horrendously. The response from the establishment is if you are not interested in HRT then they wash their hands of you; on the other side of the fence menopause is something to be embraced: my response to that is you try embracing a hot flush when you are standing giving a presentation to a room full of men with sweat spurting horizontally out of your forehead! I am sure that Caitlin when she gets there will deal with this with admirable aplomb and a few exclamation marks – Look forward to it………
54, menopausal (must be the 1in11 who does have unpleasant physical symptoms, but LOVING
the growing emotional freedom); justfinished your ace book. Can’t wait for my 15 year old daughter to read it and learn that even a funny, smart, younger, cooler woman than her frankly prehistoric mother thinks going minge-free is a creepy side effect of the porn industry. Thank you for making this ongoing dialogue as hilarious as it deserves to be and accessible to a younger, sassier generation tricked into thinking it’s no longer relevant. And big love to your husband and all the courageous, polite men like him! I AM A FEMINIST!
I loved your book – just finished it – and have only one nit to pick: I’m 47, and still learning how to be a woman, and so your notion that 59 is ‘old’ is not only scary, it’s wrong. Old is 85, when you need to ask someone to trim your hedge for you because your arthritis won’t let you hold the clippers anymore. 59 is just grown up.
I loved your book. Just finished and didn’t want it to end. Thank you.
‘kin well in, Cait love.Thank god there are a few of us around who say ‘pay me properly for the work I do’ and ‘you may say Jordan and WAGs are feminist role models. Just as i may say STOP TALKING SHITE’. When’s the next book out?! No pressure, but your country needs you, like xxxx
Your book has had me chuckling in the dark as I try to go to sleep. I have always stood on a chair and shouted “I am a feminist”. Unfortunately far too many women in my life think I am odd for doing this and your book says all the things I want to say to them so I am gong to make them read it until they stand on chairs too.
[...] from readers of the book on Caitlin’s website say it all – you”ll want this book – read them here) (buy it [...]
My son pointed at your book cover and told me that I look and dress like you. I read your book and realised I think like you. I rant like a feminist trouper and work in an environment where men thinks it’s acceptable to expect women to aspire to be nothing more than the tea girl, can take time off to play cricket but the women get the third degree for asking to leave early to pick up a child spraying diarrhoea at nursery staff.
I loved your whole book! But I especially loved the part where you describe your expectations of being a ‘princess’ – I think it hits the nail on the head for all of our hang-ups and insecurities – we all think we ought to be like princesses. I used to feel that being a woman was a burden, but now I see myself as a happy, healthy human-being just doing things! Let’s hope that enough of us start being ‘ourselves’ again to form a revolution or something. Also I don’t know what to do with my life now without basking in the comforting glow of your book? Heelppp.
I read this book in one day, I just could not put it down, and in a world where we are taught that feminism is hating men, this is so refreshing. Yay! I can put make up on, wear bras and still shout at people for discriminating against my vagina! I knew that anyway, but now I have the force of this book behind me, so I can quote it at people who try to argue against me being a feminist. Totally useful tool, terrifically funny and full of truth.
“How To Be A Woman” is the funniest, most insightful book I’ve maybe ever read, and I want “Women who, in a sexist world, pander to sexism to make their fortune are Vichy France with tits” (p. 252) on a t-shirt. Thank you, Caitlin, for such a marvelous read!
I cannot believe I have only just discovered who you are! Just finished your book and I think I might be a little bit in love with you and with feminism. This book epitomises EVERYTHING I’ve been banging on about for years but does so much more eloquently and much less like a marginally batty 20-something spinster (Reclamiming the word. Join me if you please.) The majority of my friends are women but only one other of them identifies herself as a feminist. I find this completely insane. I shall attempt to enlighten them.
p.s. I wore comfy shoes to work today. It’s like walking on a buoyant cloud of strident feminism. Thanks!
Just finished reading. I’ve never before been quite so overcome with agreeing-type feelings. As inspiring as The Whole Woman, but more readable and without the slightly batty bits. I have plenty of friends who are horrified at my claims of being a feminist and I’m going to throw this book at their heads until they read it.
I always suspected I was a Feminist and thus tried to read The Female Eunuch about four years ago but found it all a bit baffling. Your book was inspiring and funny. My boyfriend got curious from all my chuckling and has been reading bits too. You’ve made me feel stronger about being a woman, a feminist and ‘just one of the guys’. I want people to be polite to me – as I am to them. I still want to read the ‘tat’ magazines and sneakily look at dailymail.co.uk for new gossip, but without it affecting me – and realising I don’t have to be a gym-honed dolly bird with a £gazillion handbag to have worth. I’m proud to be a woman, and privileged to be living in the 21st century when we can achieve….anything we want. Well done. Your book rocks.
I bought this book after reading your article in Grazia (set up to make you look like a child hater… I read it with a view to disapprove like a Daily Mail reader. Fact that you turned out to be one of the warmest Mummies ever lead to the book sale haha). I loved the book. Not only did it make sense of many things that had been getting on my t*ts for years (lap dancing, Katie Price as role model etc) – it has given me drunken rant fodder that I will shamelessly quote for years. Being polite, being one of the guys – that’s just “it” isn’t it. Brilliant.
Just finished your book, blown away by it! I’ve never read anything that articulates my own views so well. If I could have written any song or book in history, I’d choose your book everytime. I’ve not stopped bleating on to everyone I know about it, got my brother reading it and sent a copy to my folks. Thank you!! xx
Have just blasted through your fabulous book and feeling the need to express my joy and appreciation – I so agree with your idea of ‘The Guys’ in the way you explained it – and you make it seem something we can hope to attain. Many, many people that I know will be hearing about this wonderful book (and possibly consider renaming important parts of their body as a result)! Thank you for the things you have given me to consider and look forward to!
I enjoyed the book but felt about a hundred years older than you at 47. Yes women should all have children and it would be great if we could. I’ve read the comments. Thanks to suzanne for her comment on the menopause….which I have yet to experience. I hope you write a follow up book when you are, let’s say……58ish….
‘How To Be A Woman’ is the most accessible book on gender (in)equality I have ever read. I agree with every word of it and I’m standing on that chair, too. I just wish someone would write a similar book that is as refreshingly honest about men. Maybe I should get the ball rolling? Or maybe the world will only be ready for that when certain male writers get bored of telling us how awkward or hilarious it is to be a bloke and start taking masculinity (in all its forms) slightly more seriously? Thank you for writing your book. I’m currently instructing the ‘world and his wife’ (patriarchy alert!) to read it!
I thought I was the only person who panic bought harem pants! Just finished the book an absolutely loved it – as a 19 year old it’s just summed up the past few years perfectly. Amazing. More please!
I am the proud owner of a man who goes “Ooof!” whenever he stands up, sits down or finishes his pud. Thanks Catherine!
OK, so I’m a bloke. And I just finished reading your book.
Thank you very, very much.
Thank you Caitlin for writing this piece of brilliance. Just sublime. How To Be a Chuckling Woman. Laughter and education – potent, Captain Moran, potent.
OMG – you’ve done little videos. I’m def going to play those at the book club meet tomorrow. It will be like you’re actually here!!
Hello. We’ve only gone and done your book for book club. Yes we have.
Any ideas for thoughtful, debate-provoking questions?
The best description of childbirth I’ve ever read: watching my wife giving birth was like watching an audience-participation version of Marathon Man intercut with Alien, and this reminded me – while making me laugh, a lot.
I’m nerving myself up to order copies for all my students. Wait for the parental letters!
Write more books.
PS. My daughter is now 18 – we’ve been reading the best bits aloud to each other, then banging each other on the back to retrieve pieces of misdirected breakfast. Thanks.
I just finished reading your book and I thought it was ace. So many things that just needed to be said. I too am a firm believer in retro minges, shoes that you can run in if need be and eating. I think you’re spot on about the patriarchy not really being about tangible, old-school, outright sexism any more (although it still can be). But more about fear and low self-esteem and women not having the confidence to be as awesome as they can be. So we’re all responsible for helping to make a society where it’s easier to be a woman. So thank-you for making a major contribution towards this end.
I have just two queries/quibbles:
1) I felt a little bit like your answer to the problems of womanhood was just to be awesome, i.e. to be fabulous and hilarious and to spend your days frolicking naked with your cool celebrity mates. Not all of us are fabulous and well-loved. Or even that funny. So what should we do in order to not feel shit about stuff and eventually succumb to the patriarchy?
2) Are women still allowed to like to feel beautiful? (Even if that concept of beauty might be rooted in some slightly unhealthy notions of princessdom?).
I’ve been looking forward to reading your book since I heard about it. It doesn’t disappoint! You are making me laugh, cry and think. Love the ‘pink chest clowns’ – made me laugh for days! Thank you and keep up the good work. xxxx
Write another book NOW!PLEEASE!!! just finished your book Caitlin while on my honeymoon in Greece . No, I did not spend £21,000 on my wedding. I did however, go around for the first part of my honeymoon telling everyone who would listen (and read my texts) that it was “the best day of my life” then I got to your chapter on weddings and realised you have a ruddy good point! I probably have had had better times in fields/clubs slightly the worse for wear on mind altering substances! HOWEVER the difference is I don’t remember those moments as well as my wedding day because trying to say hello to 100guests in a field (while in heels-whoops-off by 9.30 in bare feet-guilty) plus checking the caterer is actually doing as you asked him too and the posh loo’s are still playing horrifically crap music while smelling like a domestos factory severely eats into your time to reach that level of inebriation and therefore I just remember it being incredibly fun while watching everyone else off there socks as they clearly didn’t feel the need to worry about the hello’s, the caterer and the loo’s. Anyway, it was up there with the “off your face in a field moments” regardless!
On a more serious note.. thank you! I have been recovering from bulimia and anorexia for quite a while now and feel a lot stronger and more confident than i have in a long time, my honeymoon was planned as little time to get my head together before coming back and restarting my career, your book made me laugh and cry with understanding and really helped me look at thing s in a much less intense angle. I have come home with great gusto and strength and feel you have had a little part to play!! THANK YOU! but seriously… WRITE ANOTHER BOOK ………..NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thannks xxxxx and well done you!
oh yes, I mentioned the book in my facebook status and a huge long conversation ensued, between about 3 friends who had read the book and another couple who are going to buy it now (c’mon, give me a commission on those sales!) and happily including one woman who didn’t used to call herself a feminist but now does. Anyway, don’t you think you should have a facebook page for the book? Much happy chatting between us wimmin would ensue…
ALSO I think you and Lauren Laverne should co-host an arts review programme, just half an hour of gossipy punky feminist chat about things every week on channel 4. Why not? Do it! This is probably not a comment to post, more that I just wanted to suggest facebook to you.
All the best,
Just finished the book and I’ve had a big shrug and fart and feeling much more human for it. I like the fact I’m going to die too. I think it will make my day much more productive. Thanks for such an excellent read that made me feel less lonely about certain views (hair,bras,abortion etc) and much more positive about how awesome it is to be a woman and human and all these things.(although I stilll would quite like to be a dog so I could sit, eat and go on long walks to pubs).
Love your book, am recommending it to everyone. I’m with you all the way on Big Knickers, Lady Fur and generally Being A Human. Am so precious about my books that I don’t willingly lend them out, but am gonna pass my copy of this along to spread the word.
Loved this book so much, I’m still sad to have finished it! Funny and smart, it was like being with a good friend. I’ll be buying it for everyone I know especially my mate who thinks having a “Hollywood” wax is a good idea! My four nieces may be under 5 but I’m already worried about their fixation on princesses so this will be a compulsory read for all of them in the future, and don’t think my son will be getting left out either! Thank you Caitlin, your book is amazing.
As I read your book, I was filled with a deep sense of dread, which intensified page after page, chapter after chapter. This dread was the knowledge that I would, at some point, run out of pages to read and be thrust from the comfort of having a Caitlin Moran book to excitedly force down the throats of my family, friends and work colleagues.
Walking around London with How To Be A Woman tucked away, gave me a sense of safety I would imagine Paul Hogan felt with his “that’s not a knife!” knife in Crocodile Dundee. It even transported me to a happy place, like a Harry Potter invisi-cloak, whilst I spooned – semi-erotically – with a profusely sweating (quite obviously patriarchal, the bastard) stranger during the morning Jubilee Line crunch.
I’m immensely proud that somewhere in North London – my cultural home – there is someone who has cojones GARGANTUAN enough to write such a frank and illuminating book. Thank you Caitlin, I feel as though I’m in possession of the key to an understanding I’d always understood, but never been able to unlock.
I’ve proofread this damn comment 800 times.
The bit about the bra made my cry. Loved the book. Just finished. Want more. AAAArRRRgGGHH!!!
Being almost an old woman, 57, in case you ask, this book has made my day.Love the humour and the way the big stuff gets said in such a normal and witty way. Like it wasn’t rocket science and it all so needed saying. Bought your book as a present for my American feminist mate, now gonna buy another three copies, one for me to keep and the other two for old feminists like me.I have to tell you that getting past 50 might mean I’m invisible, but I nowadays don’t give a flying …. cause being old enough to know that I’m not only good enough but downright all round gorgeous is the most liberating thing that’s happened to me. I hope from reading your fabulous words that when you get to be old you’ll be getting as much pleasure as me and my friends are having. Cause this is the time of our lives when being grumpy is fine, being a hidden sex queen is fine and knowing that what I have to say in my professional life is worth listening to, all adds up to finally getting rid of the lonely frightened child and knowing it’s more than fine to be a grown up woman
I never really liked feminism, not because I don’t like women [I am one], but because feminism always went hand in hand with ‘really boring conversation and no making out’ in my mind. That was until I read your book, and shouted ‘I AM A FEMINIST’ very loudly from a chair in my kitchen. Now when ladyfolk talk about feminism, I can say ‘Preach’, and not just to try to get them to make out with me by agreeing, it’ll because I’ll actually agree.
Also, I wanna say PREACH to you for what you said about pubic hair. Baldness is upsetting
LOVED the book, despite being almost overwhelmed by exclamation marks. Repeatedly I kept thinking, ‘thank god I’m not like that’ about the victims-of-patriarchy you described and also repeatedly thinking, ‘that’s just like me’ about lots of things you said about real women’s lives. By the way, I am the woman who had that disappointing dish of razor clams but never knew that it was an experience that would make its way into a book. Thanks darling, keep up the good work.
I was with you through the early chapters. I was thinking: Yer maybe I am a feminist because like you say, here I am as a woman, offering an opinion. That makes me a feminist by definition, right? Even though I don’t hate men, and think men and women are different, and like wearing heels- maybe I am a feminist and never knew.
Or not. Cos then I reached Chapter 9. And “Girls, get the fuck off the podium- you’re letting us all down”. So I stopped to write you this reply: Fuck off.
I am not letting you or any other feminist down by working. Whether that is in a club, as an escort or even walk-up or street working. Women do not ‘approach their worst’ here. You seem to know nothing about sex work, even though you once went to a strip club in 2000.
Some men will always want to pay for sex. Some women will always choose to sell it. It is not a black and white issue of exploitation and abuse against women. Give us some credit. Women work for a lot of reasons, but mainly cos (hold on tight!), they need the money. Just like (this really is a revelation), ANY OTHER JOB. It is attitudes like yours, which tell people we are exploited, different and hate men; that the industry is dirty and morally wrong, that are part of the problem.
Your attitude forces women to hide the fact that they work, or be judged as indecent (you said it!). Your attitude supports laws that forbid women to work together, making working much more dangerous (and women die because of it). Your attitude continues the idea that women are victims, instead of simply going ‘well yer, I’ve thought about it and you can have the use of my body for an hour for £130 so long as your respectful cos frankly it’s a pretty easy way to make money’.
If I choose to strip in the evening cos I can make a lot more money than I can waitressing, is that alright with you or am I letting you down? If I choose to do an incall for £130 and work around school hours, can I still call myself a feminist?
Actually, what the fuck. I have fucked men for money in the past. I don’t see myself as a victim. And I think I might be a feminist. Do you have a problem with that?
PS if you moderate this out because of the word ‘fuck’ that is really lame. Asterisk it if you have some kind of swearing policy.
You had me at ‘hog roast’.
Thank you so much Caitlin for your honesty and your clarity. For some time now, I’ve been putting together a feminist hope chest (I used to call it a glory box, but that’s all together too close to glory hole for comfort) for my two young nieces, filled with the books, articles and quotes that pierced through this waking dream of ‘you are your biggest life’s work’, and made me feel just-get-stuck-in-and-get-on-with-life-powerful again. Your book rolls all of that stuff into one. And it’s portable in a reasonably-priced handbag. A glory book, if you will.
Your postscript completely nailed the sense I’ve always had about being a mass of problems to be fixed; a how to be instead of a what to do; and why this is so: the millenia of conditioning that your only options are turning inward, and looking hot.
And as for the Abortion chapter, exceptional. This is happening to our bodies, and it’s about time we talk openly and demand options and treatment in line with our immense value as women, instead of hiding it away with punitive silence as a shameful thing.
Thank you again for a brilliant week’s reading. It went bloody fantastically with a beer and/or glass of red – and really, really made me fancy taking up fags.
Yours in sensible shoes, comfortable knickers and solidarity,
Loved your book. Got it yesterday and finsihed it today. I think you are my new heroine. Will be recommending it to everyone I know.
Dammit. Hannah (two comments down) has essentially just said what I was going to say. Never messaged anyone before…blah…blah…reading bits out…blah blah.
You said no swearing in the intro video but it’s impossible not to, and I hope it’s ok here because it’s not directed at anyone……
Your book is motherfucking cuntingly good.
I’m actually writing this from a hotel room in stockholm (get me!). I bought it in the whsmiths in terminal 3 at heathrow before I got on the plane (it was buy one get one half price, and you made me put back Mark Thomas’s tale of walking the wall in Israel, I hope you’re happy?)
So, there I am reading it on the plane, and I couldn’t stop laughing. Just when I thought I was OK you’d have a line like, “her knickers were so skimpy her front bottom had eaten them entirely. ‘I’m currently wearing them on my clit, like a little hat.”
And I kept BARKING with uncontrollable laughter, and then shaking silently while leaning sideways in my seat.
And your chapter on abortion made me cry.
in a good way
because I’ve had five.
that’s right five.
And I felt about every single one of them the way you felt about yours.
And it’s not that I’m not irresponsible.
(Ok, I was for the first one, when I was 15, and possibly the second one when I was 16, but I was really young right? They’re the GOOD kind, remember.)
It’s genuinely that I’m really amazingly fucking fertile, I swear. I could list the type of contraception I was using for each but you wouldn’t believe me. (Withdrawl, condoms, pill, pill, pill.)
I’ve been told so many times (oh so subtly) that I should feel bad about this (hence the bloody justifications and excuses above). Probably I’m supposed to feel exponentially more than 5 times as bad as someone who’s only had one in fact. And I never have.
I’ve never felt bad about it. (I did pretended to feel bad about the first two because I was 16 and I thought that’s how you were supposed to feel). I’ve just felt horrible when people are judgemental about it.
But, Caitlin, I’ve never been able to explain why I don’t feel bad about it.
but you have.
that is exactly how I felt, and still feel about my numerous abortions. Not proud, not ashamed, not traumatised, just pleased I had the sense and the bollocks to do the right thing.
So thank you.
I can’t bring myself to buy The Times (you wouldn’t consider moving to the Independent would you? Johann Hari’s on sabatical for a couple of months! Think of it as like maternity cover.)But I think you’re finally going to make me start using Twitter, even though I can’t work out what the difference is between it and status updates on facebook.
Fucking fucking fucking brilliant.
I’ve just read that you were so gripped by Revolution In The Head that you read it all through your second labour, to distract you. I thought you’d like to know that I read How To Be A Woman for its laugh out loud qualities to get me through sitting one side of a curtain, while my daughter lay, spreadeagled on the other, having 10mm sliced off her cervix. This is a big compliment. Thankyou.
Just finished HTBAW. A brilliant read. Too many fave parts to choose just one.
Thank goodness that there is a way to contact you, as I was desperate to get in touch and let you know how inspiring, moving, funny and just plain amazing your book was. I read over the weekend and have driven friends and family insane by reading parts out, lecturing them, getting angry, sad, laughing out loud and basically getting very very excited about this book.
I have never written to anyone before about something I have read or seen, but then, without meaning to sound melodramatic, I dont think Ive read a book like this before!! Everyone I know will be getting this book for birthdays, christmas and any other excuse inbetween. Thanks Caitlin – your book was a joy and inspiration to read!
bought the book for my birthday for me coz no-one else has that little sense, love it to bits, making the wife and the daughter and the pretty girl in the kebab shop at the top of the road read it coz they’re all cool enough to grasp it……brilliant book, funny and scary and moving and happy and sad, and i’m the bloke of the house so i probably should be taking this in my stride……grats lass
well… i couldn’t buy your book, (for a strange reason i won’t go into here) but aunty Liz DID, as a gift for me. It made me laugh out loud. My friend Louise, coincidentally, is reading it TOO. There will be an epidemic, I think. Just finished the book, of course, which is why I’m on here… can’t get enough. X
Hi just seen you page on FB so thought I’d take a look. It must of been at least a year since I brought my last book so going trot to the store and purchase yours after reading, (not sure what that bit is called where you describe the story) but you sold it to me:-) Could tell you a horror story about a brazilian! Lol
God, what a wonderful, sensible, hilarious book that actually talks about Real Life as if we (women) MATTER as we are; and you’ve been writing what I’ve been thinking for so long. Thank God you did – I was beginning to think I was going to have to write the new feminist bible. It wouldn’t have been a quarter as good as yours.
Loved the book, very funny, says so many of the things I have thought but didn’t dare say out loud. Why should I wear tiny pants? Why should I pay good money and endure pain to look like a porn star? Absolutely 100% agree.
I do, however, have the teensiest little gripe.
I was horrified to read, near the end, that you feel there are things that you have yet to learn cope with i.e. teenage children, bereavement, job loss and, in this same sentence you included THE MENOPAUSE!!!!
Puh-lease! I can honestly say that the menopause is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I did not need to learn to ‘cope’ with it.
Younger women are under the illusion that when you reach ‘the change’, you put on weight, look terrible, lose your sex drive, get moody, irritable, suffer constant hot flushes and generally lose your marbles. None of these things are true!
Yes, I know what you’re all thinking ‘she was one of the lucky ones’. However, having talked to 11 similarly aged friends (early 50s) only one has had problems, for the 10 others, all that happened was that our periods stopped. That’s it. Nothing else. How hard is that to ‘cope’ with? Huh? I didn’t have any problems ‘coping’ with not going through agony every month! ‘The Psychologist’ recently ran an article on women’s perceptions of the menopause, for most women, it is a non-event. This IS a feminist issue, are women to be valued only whilst they still have their reproductive capacity? I have more energy, am healthier and more active since entering the menopause, I am not ‘exceptionally lucky’, I’m normal.
OK, I’ve had my rant, I feel better for that now.
Your book was so well written and so funny that, when reading it on the train, I ended up spitting out my OJ while I laughed hysterically -much to the distress of the poor bloke sitting opposite!! Thank You for the chuckles and a refreshing viewpoint on feminism!
Thought I should call myself super mum as thatbis what everyone sees most of the time. I am amazed how much this book has reminded me of who I am or would like to be. I have 4 children (growing up now) and I have been in a dream like state for the last 20 odd years – time to wake up, thank you for helping me with that notion.
I have just stood on my first chair in a very sleepy and surprised Coffee shop, and it will not be my last! Thank you for such a hilarious, moving, insightful and ultimately bloody brilliant book…something that everyone from the oppressed to the obtuse (and everyone in between) should read!! x
Your book is utterly brilliant – thank you so much for writing it.
I laughed, cried (mostly joyful tears) and then I stood on my chair in my properly fitting massive pants and proclaimed loudly and proudly that I AM A FEMINIST!
Much like the HPV vaccine, I feel like this book should be compulsory for all school-aged girls.
Thank you so much for writing this book, it is incredible. As well as making me laugh a lot, it has filled me with hope and excitement for my future rather than fear and disappointment which I sometimes feel as I am 30 and most of popular culture would have you believe that your story ends rather than begins here as a woman, and that motherhood is the only thing ahead of you. I sort of know anyway that this is bollocks but it is so rare that anyone else says so. I am so glad that you have said all these things in such an accessible way and that hopefully thousands of young girls will read this and be inspired and stop being ashamed to call themselves feminists.
You are a fantastic role model. I’m so glad you have settled my small amount of uncertainty about whether Katie Price was in any way impressive, and I used your argument about strip clubs at a party last night and it shut everyone up. I’ve been having these arguments for years but other girls never join in. All my friends are reading this book so perhaps now they will…
Aha! I found you on the last page of the book!
Just finished it, and had to tell you that I might be totally in love with, and am bagsing the position of Secretary in any subsequent political or social movement you’re thinking of starting.
I haven’t laughed this much in a long time, and my Love of Being A Woman is reignited. It’s good. Xx
I grew up in Leicester, I have weird relationships in my head to pass the time. Have serious issues with high heels and weddings. I hate them both but feel conditioned to crave them. I spend far too much time in my head, which has resulted in bad grades at school and lost hours at work meetings. I have no relationship with my body, only when I cram it full of food. At 33 I’ve decided I’m behind in my life. Strict upbringing equals no life, late teens into 20′s spent having said life, 30′s now are my 20′s where I’m trying to find who the hell I am. Grrreat time to do it!. Anyway, I found this book and discovered I’m not alone, I feel I can continue to loath weddings more openingly, hate high heels and continue to play video games (in moderation) without feeling that I’m only half a woman. Thank you!
Everyone needs to read this.
I thought the Goddess Greer could never be surpassed, but I think you did it.
Thank you! Middle-aged menopausal feminist Christian woman here – just finished the book and it’s FANTASTIC! I feel so much better about not wearing heels or having a designer handbag. (No, seriously!) THANK YOU!
The funniest book I’ve read in a long time. I read it , my Husband had to hear about 60% as I read it out to him, this should be given to every 15yr old girl. it could bring on the next wave of feminism this time with a large dose of humour. CONGRATULATIONS this is wonderful and I will be telling everyone about it.I’m going to buy 2 copies to give to my step daughters. thank you so much!it made me feel I’m not the only one xx
Thank you so much for writing this. I am 30 and work in an industry with a pre 1980s glass ceiling. I’m in the private yachting industry and unlike most of the women I’m doing a “mans” job engineering and fixing things. I have had to get over qualified in order to get jobs that boys just starting out get given and it drives me nuts. Some times I wonder why I bother to persevere. I loved your comment on the birds shitting on the glass ceiling so that we can see where it is. By the way I also don’t want kids (shock horror to many) and I haven’t married my boyfriend of 6 years (much to the bemusement of many). You made me feel normal!!!
What a wonderful book, I will do my damnedest to make my husband and teenage sons read this. Caitlin, you are a star. And well done for kicking David Bennun. I was at school with him.
Thank you for writing this book, Caitlin – it has really cheered me up.
I am an accomplished 30-something woman who studied feminism at university and who has a big fat career, own home, control of all my faculties etc. But somewhere in the last decade I am ashamed to admit I have allowed my sense of womanhood to be undermined by the constant narrative of celebrity-obsessed, female-hating twaddle peddled by some parts of the media (e.g. Daily Mail website).
I love your bullshit test: “are men doing this, too”?, and I plan to apply it to my life as I focus on ‘doing’, as well as ‘being’.
P.S. I fancied Aslan, too – what was that all about?
Having just read your book I can relate to it completely! I am going to insist that my son and three daughters read it. It made me laugh and cry and I loved it thank you!!!! You are an awesome writer!
Just finished your fantastic book and am now sad that it is over. *big hugs* from me in my new big pants in Glasgow xxx
I LOVE this book! I’m a 52 year-old mum of a grown-up son and daughter and have thoroughly enjoyed reading this funny, down-to-earth, touching book. This is, deep-down, how every woman feels as she looks out on a world full of sexist crap! I have, I’m glad to say, reached the age where I truly do not give a tinkers cuss about anything! My body is migrating south and twinges and creaks in the process – my face is doing the same. I still make mistakes, drink too much sometimes and make a complete idiot of myself more than I care to say. I don’t want to buy into the media ideal of ‘the perfect woman’ and this book gives me hope that there are many more like-minded women out there. I urge every woman to read this book. Recommend it to others, pass it on to those you think may truly need it’s message. Stand on a chair and shout ‘I AM A FEMINIST!’
My friends and I have long had you at the top of the list for our ultimate fantasy girly screech-night extravaganza. Now, since your book we have added Caz to the list. She might even have to be top. LOVE the book xxx
This book made me cry, and laugh (and thus look like a nutter) on a bus.
And I think I might love you.
That is all.
I am a feminist! (I have known thsi for a long time) but finally I get to read a book that is feminist and funny! Thank you so much xxxx
Quite simply this book has changed my life and made me view things so differently. It is an exhausting and thankless task striving to be a princess, thank you for helping me to realise that I no longer need or want to be one. You are brilliant.
NO TO THE BRAZILIAN
I’m an overweight, Glaswegian, squint-eyed, embarrassingly well-read, 19 year-old, Slut-walking, ex-goth art-student virgin who spends most of her Saturday nights assuring her friends they don’t look fat in that outfit, who once guided the closest of them through an abortion at fifteen and who once laughed for twenty minutes at the word ‘velociraptor’.
I’m glad to know there’s someone out there as sane as I am.
In your book you wish you had a song written about you, now I am no songwriter, but I wrote a poem instead.
Did enjoy your book
Caitlin Moran, Wolverhampton Deity
Gets through life with abandoned gaiety,
Schlepping through the day, watching Celebrities get their pay
She peers through a lens of selective sanity
Caitlin Moran , new feminist thinker
Gets through life with out a blinker
Writing at odd hours and smelling the flowers
Germaine thinks she’s a big panted tinker
Oh Caitlin be my god
You can also be a sod
Your happy with your lot
A lot of people are not
A lot of people are not
Caitlin Moran, on being a woman
Can be a Div, which is just plain human
Being an arse is part of the plan
What’s the next book? On being a Man?
Caitlin Moran ,Wolverhampton Deity
Getting stuff done without alacrity
Destined to shag, she is flying that flag
Life’s too short to be called a slag
Oh Caitlin be my god
You can also be a sod
Your happy with your lot
A lot of people are not
A lot of people are not
Not brilliant, I admit , but hope it makes your day…………
Dear Caitlin, Just finished your book in two days of laughing out loud and thinking of countless people, including my daughter, that I must buy it for. Have now ordered another three copies and will no doubt be getting more after that as the list keeps getting longer.
The book is just ace; humane, so funny and just RIGHT. Thank you, you geniuswoman you x
I love How To Be a Woman; Chapter 13 has provided me with some great comebacks at the next family wedding!
Book was bloody fab, and I am proud to stand up and say I am a feminist
I am the throes of a huge girl crush with you all over again. I have just bought 2 more copies for friends and I will be purchasing more for my sisters & saving my copy for my 9 month old daughter. Thank you for writing this. xx
Just finished your book. (Have you been reading my mind, woman?) I must lend this to my 14-year-old niece RIGHT FLIPPIN’ NOW!
Loved your book I am also oldest of 11 children.
Hurrah at last down with Botox and boob jobs up with brains and big knickers ! What took so long for this book to be written! Thank you ms Moran!
Read your book in two breathless sittings. When I wasn’t reading it, my 24-year old daughter grabbed it and stayed up till 2am on the night shift. You’ve addressed all the bonkersness that was narking me about women thinking feminism is a dirty word, bald minges, stupid heels, designer handbags, and the horrible slide back towards sexism that’s happened in the past 20 years. (I too remember a phase in the ’80s/early ’90s when it was seriously uncool to leer at women.)
Seriously: thankyou! This is a very important book.
I think I am a little bit in love with you Caitlin *stares wistfully out of window*
Oooooh! Well looking forward to this, and hopefully getting some answers on the mystery that is…..Woman!
I’m going to be sitting by my letter box waiting for this to be delivered, much too exciting. the first time I’ve splashed out for a brand new book in yeeeears! (oh god, and i’m only 28.)
I am one of your biggest fans. I was just in London and was hoping you would have an appearance set up. You always crack me up and are a huge inspiration in my writing. I blog among other things. Thanks for writing a book. Can’t wait to read it.
The first half of this book (it gets a bit more serious, though no less entertaining towards the end) will make you laugh till you puke. many women will identify with the ideas in this book and most men will learn from them – touching, moving, and inspiring. Nice one, Caitlin.
Am I a feminist? Hmm … Do I want to burn my bra? Occasionally. Do I hate men? Well some are certainly worthy of hate (gaddafi, hitler obv) but not my boyfriend, my two best mates and that rather tummy guy in marketing. Do I think that women are and should be treated equal to men? Abso-fucking-lutely! Do I worry that my belated decision at 36 that babies might be nice after all is just a reaction to a biological clock or giving into societal pressure. Yup. Do I think that women are treated abominably around the world. Yup. Guess I must be a feminist then. Shame believing these things still requires a label! Can’t wait to read the new book – just what feminism needs for the modern age. Go Moran!
AMAZING! such an inspiration. your writing is always good for a giggle
A book by Caitlin Moran! How I have longed for this moment. Caitlin, you have a fan in New Zealand. (And I’m a real Kiwi too, not a ex-pat POM.)
Congratulations on the book! So what was the Philadelphia birthday baguette like? Sounds PROPER nice.
Gosh, all along I’d thought you were a Kathleen and from Cork.
I’ve been reading your column in the wrong accent. Now feel like they’ve cast a new actor to play the same character, I have to recalibrate what I thought I knew *
but welldone on website !
This is what Feminism needs, a diamond-encrusted flip flop up the bum. Can’t wait to read it x
Love your videos on the website – you are so funny/intelligent *looks coyly away in Regency manner*
after melanie reid caitlin is the big read of the weekend. quite possibly the most funny and talented columnist in the history of columnists. viva crouch end etc…x
You and Pete are amongst the West Midlands finest exports. Loved the extracts in the Times. Looking forwards to the book.
No Irish stops on your book tour?
I’m far to excited about this book then in response to “who and what are you on about” I can wave it about and point and go “her!” “this!”
I’m 15; yet to face a lot of the issues you highlight in the book, but I’ll STILL read it and enjoy it. What an inspiration you are to people like me! *thought* It says a lot that the more intelligent women in society are feminists.
How about subtitles with your vid for your deaf and hard of hearing fans>
Two imaginary sugars, please, Cait. When’s the paperback out (*pulls skint face*)?
Right, i’ve found £20 and its between you or Tina Fey. I’m feeling a Harry Hill-esque fight here.
Now you have done this excellent book, Can you please write the second part of instructions relating to: how men can (should) understand women
Thankyou,thankyou,thankyou Caitlin-at last someone speaks out!we don’t all want to be made to feel abnormal because we won’ t follow the pack and spend every waking hour waxing,tanning and pouting. Three cheers for Caitlin x
I have yet to meet a truly intelligent woman who isn’t a feminist.
I am very, very excited for the book.
I don’t actually read The Times, but my grandma saves me the magazines so I can read Caitlin’s column every week. Sad, but true.
You do, in fact, rule, Ms Moran!
Have been obsessed with ms.morans writing for some years now feel a liitle jealous now having to share her with all these “johnny come latelys”! Only joking delighted she is getting success she deserves!
Do you really have a 3D TV????
Love your writing, really relate to it and feel like I’m listening to my best mate (or even myself) having a rant!
You are one of the few people to make me laugh out loud!!
All power to your elbow…or should that your pen/laptop/smartphone.
All of the other books on gender reconfiguration were really expensive so I pre-ordered this one.
Come to Leeds, please!
Yes,I will buy the book, and yes,I think that signed copies of Caitlin’s book will sell really fast *not-so-subtle-hint-face* : )
*SCREAM* Too excited about the arrival of this website and knowing a parcel is heading my way with the book in it! I shall be spending all day Saturday reading it, eating cheese and drinking wine, while shouting spoardic feminist instructions out of my flat window to the folk passing by. BLISS!
A large crowd of angry women gather baring lit torches.Cries of “Lynch him! Lynch him!” *Looks-out-at-angry-mob-like-Dracula-from-his-castle-face*
I’m not a feminist but I will read ‘How To Be A Women’ because Caitlin Moran writes like a dream.
*Peers outside window.Not one sign waving protester in site.Mildly disappointed face*
Could you do a shout out to ‘Sam, my 6th and best website chatter’ when I go to see you at Wilton’s? Thanks.
PS – your extract put me off ever having kids. then made me quite fancy one again.
I quite like women, although all the best ones are quite like blokes. I’ve never worn a bra, and now I’ve discovered they hurt I’m probably going to have to go through life without ever doing so I suppose. Nice site. I especially like the nice coffee coloured (pale, milky I suppose) background. Very restful.
Um, so is this like the new Twitter? Or is this the grown-up version *tilts head and narrows eyes in a not particularly convincing attempt to look intellectual*
I’m glad Caitlin Moran doesn’t want her downstairs area to look like a child’s. Neither do I and I am sick of being chastised because I feel this way.
*waits for the backlash*
I guess I have been waiting for a book like this all my womanly years..I kinda need all the help I can get as I am into video games in a big way…
Where’s the Mens Lib. section?Too long have we been oppressed etc. etc. When will women hold open the doors for us? And so on! : )
Bras are WRONG. Ditch the bra and liberate your breasts ladies.
I am so excited to read ‘How To Be A Woman’, I’m taking Thursday off work to read it cover to cover!
WHAT’S THE BIG SPLASH CAITLIN?
My bra doesn’t hurt.
At least I don’t think it does.
Maybe I have been conditioned into accepting constant low-levels of hurtyness, like my insane friends who call 4-inch heels “comfy”.
HAHA I’m the first one on here in your FACE me