Do Men Do It?

Do men do it? – GUEST BLOGGER HOLLY PEACOCK

I am a Feminist, it’s been my life time mantra; I am a Feminist BIG TIME, trust me!

Then I read ‘How to be a Woman’ and BAM. I’m not sure if I can state that as the fact I believed it to be.

I realised that as much as I profess to be a Feminist I must recognise that I am also a woman who, since the age of 14, has never had more than a two inch surface area of pubic hair and if there is a pole within half a mile radius, I will be most definitely getting a leg up from my boyfriend to slide down it. Most likely to some misogynistic, top 20, hip hop song.

‘How to be a Woman’ has acted as a much needed, modern day check-up for women. It asks, then answers, the daily questions we are torn by. Are we being empowered by this action or are we letting ourselves down?

So I’ve grown my pubic hair, been able to back up my dislike for strip clubs and I no longer feel the need to dutty wine to songs about ‘hoes’.

But what, pray tell, happens when you get to the end of the book and more issues arise that aren’t covered by Catlin Moran? Shall I email her directly from my iPhone at 3am when the rest of my friends are beckoning me to the pole?

After fretting about this issue for some time I realised, that the answer is hidden within the book.

If you can’t decide how you feel about something that could endanger your Feminist title then ask yourself, do men do it?

I’ve ALWAYS maintained that Feminism has nothing to do with a view on men be it loving or hating them and I still stand by that. However, I believe that this question can save us the soul searching when quick fire decision’s need to be made. Standing at the door of a strip club or standing at the bar waiting to be bought a drink ask yourself, do men do it? And if they answer is no, ask why not?

Now if it’s giving birth, using tampons or doing the splits your answer will always be, they can’t, and you can get on with your day. However, I believe this mantra can assist you in exploring these situations with the same approach as ‘How to be a Woman’ (without protesting outside Caitlin Morans house begging for ‘Volume 2’)

It certainly helped me. Looking at a particular friend,  I always felt uncomfortable and unfeminine in my flat, comfy shoes or my love affair with pencil skirls over her Louboutins and glittery mini’s but then I asked myself; do men do it?

Suddenly my insecurities of not being as feminine or sexy fell away. I realised that walking like Bambi and stapling Rapunzel-esk extensions to your head, resulting in pattern baldness, was neither desirable nor empowering and I began to feel happier in my flats.

So there was my new theology in practice. Do men do it? Well unless they are having a wildly hilarious shindig amongst the gay bars of Soho then I don’t think they do.  And why don’t they do it? Because they are uncomfortable, cold and don’t want to look like Barbies. Easy, decision made. Flats it is. Thanks Caitlin!

http://hollypeacock.tumblr.com/

@HollyAlexandraP

  • Totally agree, I can’t think of anything that men do for vanity than causes the kind of pain that lady waxing and foot blisters cause us. Until my male friends start wearing 6 inch heels, I’ll be rocking my plimsoles like it’s 1999.

  • Ella

    Shall definitely be trying this tip in the future! x

  • Damo

    You rock Holly P…

    an wise old Zen master told me once ‘Damo, just be yourself and have faith in yourself! If you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people, how fit, slim, fat, tall or beautiful they are, you will never be happy.’ – He was talking about kicking people in the face at the time and having faith in yourself when being challenged but I like to think his truth had something much more universal about it. – Damox

  • Gemma

    Great and really interesting points in this Blog and I completely agree. I’d never thought about it in that way..”do men do it?” no they dont, so why should we care care so much…we shouldn’t. looking forward to your next blog. 🙂

  • This is a really refreshing standpoint and it highlights the conflict a lot of women go through when trying to strike a balance between their values and the pressure to appear feminine or even feel feminine in the eyes of society. Love the way you’ve distilled all of that down into one clear question, ‘Do Men Do It?’.

  • Yinka

    I’ve never thought about it that way! Great guest blogger!!

  • Lula

    I cant believe I’m witnessing it as i type. I’m sat in my office now with heels and tight pencil skirt on, and my account manager just walked past with his shirt sleeves roled up, no tie and a pair of slacks.

    Ill be in dolly shoes tomorrow then!x

  • Sarah

    Love this blog really interesting and very witty too, made me giggle the whole way through!

  • Leigh

    Refreshing. A light hearted approach to feminism, thought provoking yet funny!

  • Lauren Samme

    Brilliant have given us all food ford thought! Mwah

  • OH MY GOD! If Caitlin Moran told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? If she has provoked you to think for yourself then the book has done something really great. If you are going to blindly follow her instruction, then it has only achieved to turn women into lemmings. I wax my minge (not religiously, but when the fancy takes me) and it has NOTHING to do with the infantilisation of my vagina or pleasing a man. It has to do with the fact that when there is less hair down there, it is much easier for me to reach orgasm and that is way more important to me than living in fear of someone thinking me anti-feminist. Ridiculous. If women are getting waxed because they feel they have to, then they should have a serious word with themselves, but do or don’t because you want to.

  • Jenny S

    Fantastic.

    And I don’t agree with the comment re: following Moran blindly.

    We live in a world where how we should be looking is constantly rammed down our throats, and for me, having someone like Caitlin give us a guiding light is amazing. The truth is that a lot of us never even question how or why we do things, because it seems like the norm.

    I too have thought about the “Bush” issue, and although I whole heartedly agree that if you want to be neat down their for your own pleasure, that’s great, but at the same time it’s nice to know that you don’t have to do it, and don’t need to feel guilt/ shame for the times you are a bit more laidback.

    Having someone say, hang on a minute ladies, let’s have a think about why we are doing things, is not following blindly, but getting us to question more. QUESTION MORE PEOPLE!

    Ms Peacock, I want to hear more you.

  • Holly

    Oh dear. You haven’t read the book have you? Or grasped the sentiment of tounge in cheek. No one is saying let ur lady garden grow or ur not a feminist but rather this is a common thing women feel pressured to do because it isn’t classed sexy. It’s empowering women to do what they want when they want not because u feel u have to. The fact that u do that to reach orgasim or if u did it because u simply prefer it then it doesn’t matter. FEMINISIM IS BEHIND YOU! go forth! X

  • Leigh

    Refreshing. A view that is not often touted, ‘do men do it’ is a really interesting question and no, I don’t think they do. Why? Because they are not pressured to do so. My sister will be reading this!

  • Emily

    The trans* erasure (saying women use tampons and men don’t) and shaming of hiphop really bothers me here, Trans* women and WOC need to be central to the feminist movement for it to move forward, as these women are the most trodden on in the patrirchy and have been shunned from the feminism that should be working to help them xxx